Momster: the only real wedding I had was my first - to my ex, who is still alive and kicking. He was abusive. My last wedding was really a sham (no dress, no music, no flowers), but I loved my husband nevertheless.

Judy, I am wondering if my second year is going to be even worse than the first. Like you, I am shook up. It has been 14 months. I don't see much progress. And the local support has all vanished, not that I had much to begin with.

Thank you for sharing your beautiful memory with us. My 32nd anniversary will be a week from today. I have a great deal of anxiety . My loss is still new (11/09/17). I have had anxiety disorder for some years now. Somehow it has changed with this loss. I experience it in a different way than I did before. If it continues to be a problem maybe you should talk to a Dr and see if maybe some medication could help you. I totally understand your statement of being "Shook to the core".

Thank you, everyone for you amazing responses. I'm not sure how to respond to each of you individually.
Judy1951: Yes, we are all so similar and different in how we face our grief. This group has been such a help. I'm hoping my medication will help me soon. I've been on it 1 week.
Shewearsblack: Too often the support that was there in the beginning disappears with time. I learned a lot from losing my husband. I hope that when someone loses their spouse, I will not disappear.
Bayoured: I hesitated getting medication for my anxiety. However, it got so bad that it was worrying my daughter. She is a counselor and convinced me to try it. It takes a few weeks to work. I'm only on my 1st week. I hope it kicks in soon. Don't be afraid to make your life calmer. Take care of yourself.

I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time. Hopefully, your medicine will start to help. Is there a bereavement group in your area.? It may help to go out and be with others who have had a loss. I made wonderful friends at my group. Come here as often as you need to. You will find comfort and support from the good people here. Brighter days are ahead. Hugs, Dolores

I wonder if the increase in anxiety could have been in anticipation of your upcoming anniversary. I always dreaded those special dates, not knowing what to do with them and how I would react or cope. I hope now that the day has passed, your anxiety will level off. That's how it was for me those first few years. Always praying for peace and comfort for you and all of the wonderful people on this site.