Something as light as benedryl can help you relax or even melatonin and they can be found over the counter or in a health food store. Discuss this with your doctor and tell him your concerns. I would not recommend anything, even what I said above, without checking with him or her. Even herbs can react with other medication. Best of luck, and know most of us have gone through the sleeplessness including me. Sharon

Perfectly understandable.
With your entire life changed such a short time ago, I think its normal for your brain to be so active as to keep you from sleep.

I know all too well of similar sleep deprivation.
My mind runs wild at times these nights.

In my opinion, I wouldn't recommend sleeping aids as you can become dependant.

It's like we've been sentenced to suffer for our loss, and this is part of the payment.

But thank God for this board and all of its participants.
I come here often, like this morning, as I've woken up very sad.

Hang in there. Hang in there.
I will too.

If it becomes serious then discuss with the doctor.

There are medications that can be prescribed that do not result in dependence. Generally these can be used short term, the sleep is ok, certainly better than the risks of too little sleep if you are driving etc.

My doctor advised me to take the OTC sleeping aids as they are not habit forming. He told me that the prescription meds are not good because you can become dependent on them and he would not give me a prescription. I usually take them a couple of times a week especially on Sunday night when I can't turn my mind off. The store brands are cheap and effective. I avoid caffeine late in the day and that seems to help me too. I hope sleep comes back to you.

Nessie from KY

I have great difficulty with sleeping. Some days I can get up to five hours of sleep, most of the time it is very broken sleep. I know watching TV or going on the computer is not advised and only stimulates the mind so you find it harder to fall back asleep, but I find it helps me, makes me focus on that for a short time before I fall back asleep again. I feel right now that it gives me some form of not feeling so isolated especially when going to bed.

This is just my personal opinion, but I think stress is probably the thing that is most responsible for our sleeplessness. I tried the OTC sleep meds, but I didn't like being dependent on pills. I decided to stop them and go cold turkey and follow the instructions of doctors about GETTING READY FOR SLEEP. We cannot do just whatever we want prior to bedtime because we take to bed with us whatever is on our mind when we get in the bed.

Much as I hated it, I made myself not drink any caffeine after about 5 PM. I don't eat anything during the evening except a bowl of cereal if I am hungry. I take pain meds early enough that they will be active when I get in bed. I don't watch horror movies and the like during the evening. I concentrate on easy, calm stories or books to lull me into gentle relaxation. It may sound corny, but it works. I haven't taken any sleep meds now for months. Occasionally I have a bit of sleeplessness, but never like it was before. Clearing the mind is so important for restful falling asleep. And keeping the body in a calm way physically helps too. I wish you the best. It is much harder early in grief than later down the road. Gentle, sleepy hugs going out to you!!

just to add again, that while some of the classic sleep meds prescribed, benzos etc definately are habit forming, either physically or psychologically or both, not all are.

For example trazedone is not habit forming.

Some OTC meds can be habit forming in terms of psychological dependence rather than proper physical addiction.

generally with these things the suggestion is to use them for a short period only. But, yet again, I'd stress that some meds used for sleep are not habit forming in any way.

everything I tried, I slept, then couldn't wake up, or was dragging the next day. And headache, like a hangover. So, I follow a strict schedule,warm bath, warm milk, 3 cookies, 2 Advil. make my room as cold as I ccan get it. Turn tv on in my room, to a really boring channel. lay on back, pillow uner knees, arms across a pillow on stomach. Clinh muscles and release 3 times, start at toes, all the way up, say.... toes go to sleep with clinching 3 times.. go to ankle clinch, release, on up, I am usually asleep before I get to my neck...oh, you have to concentrate on each part too.

I did meditation every night. That put me to sleep. It really helped me sleep.

sleep what sleep I might get 4 hrs. a night I'm the guy that's on here 3or 4 in the mourning trying to find friends to help because I get a lot demons on my back at night. If your not addicted to alcohol a glass of wine or a shot of burbon is my suggestion. I'm not an alcoholic by the way I have maybe 2 glasses this month

I drink alot. I don't think I'm an alcoholic. Started having a couple of glasses of wine each night while my husband was still alive, but after the cancer interfered with the quality of his life. I hated that it took the things he really enjoyed from him. Coincidence? Or pure evil? Idk. I need to figure myself out now. I will try the bath and tensing and relaxing when I get in bed. I hate that I don't know what is interfering with my sleep. Can it be grief and I don't even know???? It seems like I'm functioning well enough. Is grief that creepy? Maybe it is just stress. School year ends in two weeks. I'll find out then.

Thank you everyone for sharing! I sleep about 4 hrs top a night and even then it is a broken sleep. It is good to know I'm not alone in that.. It sure feels that way sometimes!

I have been a light sleeper all my life, after losing my husband, it became a real problem .
Since I had to be at work early, and my job was rather demanding I learned many tricks to relax myself before sleep.
First, I stopped watching TV hours before going to bed, instead I was writing in my journal first, and performed an elaborate ritual for getting myself into relaxation - a glass o wine, or a cup of warm green tea. Sometimes I took a bath, or just massaged my feet sitting near fire place. In bed I still cried, read bible, hugged my husband's pictures.
I was alone and it made me hyper alert to any sound or noise from outside. To block outside noise, I play some nature sound music in my bedroom. I also put a sleeping mask on my face that is stuffed with lavender, which is known for its relaxing fragrance. Maybe because of all these small rituals exhausted me but I would fall asleep.
I could not take meds, because they induced terrible despair and anxiety; I felt deeply depressed the next day after taking any. So I found my way of dealing with my insomnia. It is somewhat tedious, but effective .

I could not sleep either at the beginning. I live in a very old house which naturally creaks and groans. After my husband passed away, I kept going downstairs in the middle of the night because I could hear strange noises I never heard when we were together. But I knew it was my imagination, so I decided to help myself sleep better.

I chose not to take the sleeping pills road, instead I stopped taking caffeine from early afternoon, no scary movies before bed, no disturbing serials on TV, light supper. I took a hot water bottle in bed with me - it does help, but then again I live in cold climes, I talk to my husband before I go to sleep and I tell him about my day, I cry but it relaxes me. When I wake in the middle of the night I read a bit, sometimes I have a hot drink and then force myself to go back to bed instead of roaming the house.

We are all different and all have to find our own individual way of coping with our grief, there is no right or wrong. But we are here for you.

Last night, I slept like a baby. We had storms and that usually induces a coma for me. God heard me complain and answered with rain and soft thunder and lightening. I also had two beers instead of wine. I feel so much better today. I just hate that grief can do these crazy things to you and it's always grief and there is nothing that you can do about it. Grief wins. And I really hate that I can't figure it out at the time, but it takes me days or longer to realize- oh, it's grief. At least night I slept all night in a deep sleep. Thank you Lord!