Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I feel like I am going crazy. It's been seven weeks. I just stopped work. He was self-employed. We lived very frugal so we could not stress about money and enjoy life. We were loners and enjoyed being together. We had 15 great years when he died suddenly. Now I am here alone and it gets worse every day. I go to a support group, church and visit my kids and grand kids but I feel as if I'm losing it. Will it get any better? My daughter tells me to find a job or do volunteer help. Job hunting is not easy for a 62 year old who cries at the drop of a hat. I actually checked out volunteering and one group said they could use help at Easter. We live in a very rual area. Each day I seem to get worse instead of better. I was a very strong person and now I break down over everything. I lost not only Ron but myself too. I don' t know how to go on.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my husband four months ago and we also were pretty much loners. I'm not quite as far along in my journey as others but I will share with you from my experience. The best thing I did for myself was to get outside every day and at least take a walk. Sometimes I cried and sometimes I just thought about how lonely I was and how much I missed him. The next thing I did was spend alot of time in bed just watching brainless tv. My kids didn't feel that was a good thing but for me for awhile it was a distrraction, sometimes even the commercials made me cry but that's ok.
Just be gentle with yourself, that's what everyone on this site will suggest to you. Take is one day at a time, baby steps. I also felt exhausted just mentally and physically and I also think thats normal. Lean on your family and try to enjoy your grandkids. I know for me that was really difficult even during the holidays (I lost my husband on Nov 3rd) but time has made it a little more easy to enjoy my grandbabies, but it's bittersweet b/c as much as I love them, it breaks my heart b/c he can't be here to watch them grow and he adored them.
The last thing, my support group suggestted journaling, and I didn't do it for a very long time, then I had a talk with my daughter and she suggested I try it. Well I left her home that day and went home I made 3 lists for myself and while I had no idea what I was planning to write I ended up writing for 2 hours non stop and pouring out my heart and saying all the things I couldn't say to anyone else, I was exhausted and cried out at that point but it did give me a sense of peace for a few days.
I hope this helps, just be gentle and take your time and feel what ever you want to and come back here often, the people on this site are wonderful and I"m sure as the day goes on others will post what helped them to. I wish you peace and I will say a prayer for you to feel better. Warm hugs, Lynn
Everything Lynn said is so true.
I lost my husband 41/2 years ago. There are days that I do ok, and others I can barely function. I still and will forever love him.
You really need to let yourself be yourself and don't apologize, ever.
Many hugs,
Patty
As for going on, I am doing it for my children and grand children. They need me now to help with their loss, and I'm no good to them if I am a wreck, so I hold it together for them. In fact that's what I remind myself when it's time to quit crying after 2 minutes.
I hope things improve for you. Martin
Tears that leak, oh honey I am still doing that at four months. Let them flow and don't feel bad, its all part of the journey and hopefully the release of them will make you feel better. I'm so sorry for your recent loss as well. Wishing you peace and sending you a warm hug.
Lynn