Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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KpB1021 03/09/2013

Hello everyone. It has been 2.5 months and I have a question. Has anyone felt this way? I went through such a roller coaster throughout the loss and now I'm really confused. I went through an extreme month of anger and hatred towards everyone. I was so fed up with it that something finally changed. However, the past week I have not been so negative, but I guess just in a daze. I have only broke down once a day the past week and whenever I start to think about Kenny or the accident I quickly think about something else so I don't break down. Is that normal or is it so wrong? I feel so guilty for sort of pretending in life but I couldn't stand the negative in my life. I feel like I'm trying to ignore it. I feel guilty for not breaking down every second of the day anymore, but I can't, it hurts too much. Has anyone else been through this, or is it just me?

violet1213 03/09/2013

It's two months for me and honestly I've been feeling the same way the last week or so, I miss Stephen, but I smile more when I think of him, I cry less ar not as long, things are clearer, i am making decisions. I say take it we can't be in a fog the restof our lives. I don't know howlong this will last or when and if I will backslide but i will take the good along with all the bad I had to take.

deleted_user 03/09/2013

Violet 1213 you are right on track. This is my first posting. It has been 1 year and 3 months 18 days since I lost my best friend. What I have learned that you will feel so many things and it changes all the time. You feel bad because you feel kind better, live in those moments because they change. You will have days where you are so very sad and wonder how you felt so good the day before. Its a process. So live those good days well and do the best you can on the days not so good.

deleted_user 03/09/2013

Sometimes, you need a break from the pain.

silverfoxwife 03/09/2013

I have not felt much anger, not even towards the guys who didn't take my husband to the hospital when he was dying in the hotel room overseas on a business trip. I am just numb and blocked out everything so I could function very normal among people and at work.

avm99 03/09/2013

It`s been 14 months since I lost my husband. I remember being VERY angry. I was angry at my husband, the world, and everyone around. At 6 months I realized that anger was the mask for fear. I was using anger to hide from my fears, I was afraid of being a ``single mom`` raising three young daughters on my own. I found meditation helps a lot and just ``feeling`` my emotions for what thery are and journalizing them has helped. I feel somewhat better than I did a year ago, but, I`m not totally happy. But, that`s ok because I`ll get there, it`s just day-by-day.

Be gentle with yourself.

deleted_user 03/09/2013

Hi everyone , this is my first post. I have been coming here for the last two months . My DH died on New Years Day. I came home from work ,and found my husband of thirty eight years laying dead in our pasture. I totally understand how you are feeling , since it has been 9 weeks since this horrible day. And I do think it is impossible to feel the pain and anger all the time. It is just to much for any of us. I too have been very angry at times but am noticing I have been able to think of the truly wonderful times we have had and to be oh so grateful, This is the hardest journey I have been on but boy it sure feels good to smile and remember the good times. Lets pray that it lasts for at least a little for all of us!

sandeestttn 03/09/2013

I had a bout with anger.....Mad at him, for quitely slipping away, and being at peace. While leaving me here to try to handle all the problems and making even more for me. Angry.... how could you leave me?....I went to the cemetary, yelled at him for it, then just sat and cried.....be 4 weeks monday......

Nicker07 03/10/2013

There are many stages of grief....Anger is very typical than something clicks you go onto the next stage..

Thats not to say you sometimes visit back feelings but not as frequent or intense

You are very normal in what time frame your grief and feelings are in.
HUGS

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