I wish I could say something helpful.

all I can say is that yes, grief does come back and it's a bumpy road but you will get through it, just take it one day at a time.

I am so sorry that you are having a bad day. I am at 4 months and this holiday weekend has also hit me hard. I thought I also was doing better. Sending you prayers and food thoughts. Brenda

This is the 1st of many for me... 48 years of bithdays spent with my husband.... hes gone... 16 years of birthdays spend with my parents, they are ...t he kids just popped in for a few minutes,,,,just passing by....

Sorry you are having a hard weekend as I'm having the same issue. I been ok for awhile and than bang another tough road. Everyone says to get out and do something, but it helps until you have to go back home. Its such a lonely place to be sometimes. I think part of my reason is I know I need to go look at my husbands headstone, but I'm having a hard time doing it.

I had a hard day today also. We just get through, that's all I can tell you. We have no other choice in the matter. Just 1 day at a time is all we can do.
Beware..... there are more hard months ahead, it just doesn't go away, it pops its ugly head up when you don't expect it.

The spring an summer are hard for me since its nice out and we should be doing things together. There is just no good time really.

It will get a bit easier as time goes by but It's a long hard road.
hugs,
JoAnn

I'm at 3 months and I thought I was doing better too, but this weekend has been terrible. I can't stop thinking about my wife and how much I miss her. Every time I think I have hit bottom, I seem to find a lower bottom. Hang in there and know your not alone.

Russ

I am having a hrad day. I just got to work. I just ache. I am at 9 weeks. I hope I make it I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. Please pray for me/ As I pray for all of us
Kathy

Kathy, sorry you are having a hard day. Yes, I will pray for your comfort, strength and peace.

For me , the realization that this was permenant thing started to creep in at that time. No more fantasies that this was only a nightmare soon to be woken from. Hugs.

Summer is going to be hard for me, like you and your spouse, we enjoyed the summer, it was a time to spend together. We both worked hard so when August came I knew we would be spending time together and time with the grandchildren. We loved to camp, my wife more so than me, but I really enjoyed being together, not having to think about work, relaxing. We always went somewhere especially as the two older grandchildren were old enough to go more places, we enjoyed watching them have fun.

This year I will not be going camping. I may go for a day visit if my step daughter goes to the camp ground we loved to go to. I will find it too difficult to actually camp alone.

Your discussion brought up two issues for me. First, yea, this weekend pretty much sucked. But then the 7 month thing really touched me. I just had my 7th month mark. And it has floored me.

I really thought I would be farther along, but still I am here with such a heavy heart. I am just trying to to focus on what others have told me, that it takes time, and it is a roller coaster. How do we get through this without them??

I am starting to think we don't. Maybe we have to get through this with them. I have been trying my best to "get on" with life, and pushing memories away as they seem to bring more pain. But maybe we should let the memories come, and just cry, scream, or what ever. Maybe if we let the memories guide us, the pain will begin to lessen.

I don't know, I don't know much of anything any more. I guess this is just the ramblings of an old widow....

u will get tho it it does get easy with time .its just over 4 years for me hugs

Before I found this site, I made a separate page on my FB, that was just "John , talk to him", just a few family members and friends that were very close to us, and provided support during his cancer fight. Now, I guess I figure sending him a message via a cyber space, gets it closer to him, so he can read. I also think that heaven is like another dimension , sometimes overlapping ours, that seems to explain a lot of the unexplainable to my head. Anyway, it was how I told him I missed him, what was going on and how I was feeling. It also helps those closest, on that list, that are always the ones the do actually stop by, to know where my head is at. They are the ones that ask how are you doing...and really mean it. Some days it has only been "ARRRRGH!" But that even helps. Unlike you, as soon as the diagnosis hit, we knew everything was the last time we would do it together. I think the hardest part was knowing, and hearing all the hopes and prayers, that he would beat this cancer. He didn't want to tell all of his family.I had started the page before he passed and it was a morning thing for him to get up and read it. Chat scared the dicken's out of him, so I don't really expect him to message me, but who knows?