I'm with you. I feel jealous, sad, and a wee bit mad when I hear people happily chirping about the trips planned or taken with their spouses-- Don't they realize how we feel??? Don't they care that our most favorite, beloved travel companion is gone??
I am going to plan some solo trips for myself with women's traveling groups though, and am researching them online.

Same here...when I see young couples, I feel overcome with sadness for what was...when I see midde aged couples I feel sad for what should be, and when I see older couples, I am sad for what should have been our future but never will. When I see a dad walking or playing with his kid(s), I feel sad for what my son lost. Jealousy, bitterness, even loathing. And a big sense of injustice...why us? So I get it, totally...

I know exactly how you are feeling. I was on a little vacation with my son and his family, and I couldn't help but notice all the older couples around laughing and enjoying themselves. I sure do miss my Bill!

Totally normal emotions for the bereaved (although we may have been taught they are wrong or bad to feel, such as jealousy). My mantra these days is that "no feeling is wrong on this grief journey"! Allow room for the feelings, acknowledge them and then let them go. It's all a process we must move through . . no way around and the world keeps spinning. Be gentle with self. Hugs, D

it is travel plans and retirement plans that get to me the most. I feel a bittersweetness when I see happy couples together and that just brings sadness, but travel/retirement plans makes me want to shout "don't you know how hard this is for me, - rub it in my face why don't you". But instead, I just smiled and nodd my head alot - while my head is totally somewhere else.

I get it....I've been struggling with feelings of jealousy lately. I feel bad that I let this emotion creep in. I know it would be better for me to wish everyone happiness. I guess it's a normal feeling after losing your spouse.
I also can't believe the things people say to me. Don't they realize I lost my husband and some of what they're sharing is like pouring salt into a wound?
They say the grass always looks greener on the other side. Everyone deals with hardship, but they only usually share the good stuff. This is why I really should stay off of facebook!
I'm thankful for all of you here at DS where we can share without judgment.

Oh, yes, those feelings hit me too. A couple times bringing me to tears and even making me want to tell them how fortunate they are to have each other. It's a common experience that will change in time as you heal and you can look at them and smile knowing how wonderful life can be, because you had it too. Sharon

I used to work with a woman who was always traveling and doing things with her husband. They'd take long weekends in New England or somewhere else. To many they are the perfect couple. My marriage was similar. When my husband was alive, we had so much love for each other. We were best friends, doing things together, looking forward to spending time together. When my husband passed, it was hard. A new way of living. No more us, just me.

Anyhow, I was still working with the same lady. Plus, I was in a sales job that had lots of couples. I'd see young, middle aged, and old couples all day. I was envious of all of them--wishing I could have had more time with my husband. Eventually, I got used to it. I'm going into my sixth year. I have come to see it as a journey that is part of life. I'm just grateful to have had my husband in my life for as long as I did. There are some who never meet their soul-mate. Now there is the pity.

I don't think I ever have felt truly jealous or bitterness towards anyone and I guess the main reason is that I know that everyone wears a face. I'm in a profession where I see the ugly side of families and I realized a long time ago that not many people in this world was as fortunate as I was to have a good marriage.

Most of my friends are divorced and the ones who aren't, really don't seem to be happy. However, in adjusting to my new life I'm learning to travel on my own and to generally enjoy life again. I'm alone, but I am not lonely.

I have never asked "why me", but I have always said "why not me?" My husband never pitied himself for what was happening to him. Instead, he fought hard to enjoy life and stay with me as long as his body would allow it. So, I owe it to him to seek happiness in my life though it may look very boring to other people, I'm content where I am now after four years into this journey.

Nessie from KY

Jealousy is a normal human emotion and though not the best emotion for many reasons it creeps up when we rally wish it wouldn't. When I see couples older than me I wonder why my love is not still here, but that was not to be for me and him. People do say things all the time that hurt and are hard to respond positively to, but I do try to be kind. sometimes I just get quiet to avoid crying or saying something unkind. I really believe that most people just don't realize or think about much but themselves.

i feel the same way, but it's not the first time. The first time was 20+ years ago, and we were six months pregnant, and lost the baby. And it seemed like everyone we knew suddenly had a baby and was having a wonderful time talking about their kids. It was hard to take. But they weren't trying to be mean, they were just living normal lives. I would just walk away from those conversations. And that's what I do now.

Here's another one--someone has surgery coming up and is worried about it. Could something go wrong? Well, I'm the wrong person to ask what could go wrong in surgery. So I walk away from that too. Might look rude, but it would be worse to stay and talk.

Anyway--I'm also thinking (not planning yet, but thinking) about traveling again someday.There are some good ideas over in Helpful Hearts.

I am past jealousy, I do get annoyed when I am around bickering couples, or couples who are not kind to each other. I feel like telling them to make every moment count.....time goes so fast...
Hug....Sandra