Diane, my thoughts are with you today on your 2nd yr anniversary of Roger's passing......I hope you have many happy memories to help you through.....
I was just talking to another widow the other day and said that I felt like I was back in the numb stage......at 15 months I miss my husband terribly but know that I need to move forward but don't know what the next step is for me.......
I wish for you that you could sell and move like you want....maybe something will happen soon in that area......many hugs (((HUGS)))

I am not at two years Nicker, but in two days will be at a year and a half. STILL is a struggle somedays, but just keep getting up when the punch guy knocks me down...All we can do is keep getting back up again, trying again,.....and AGAIN.

Still HOPING with all my heart for you to sell the ranch and be able to be with your kids and grands. I know how happy that will make you.

HUGS and you have survived TWO YEARS. Be PROUD of that. I KNOW Roger is. And I admire you and the strength you have had at keeping that ranch going....you have done much more than you think.....

Diane

Big hugs, Diane. I've found that around each anniversary date, I should just crawl under a rock. Free floating anxiety, flashbacks, all that stuff - yes, I feel weird. I don't know what forward means for any of us, but we're all definitely moving. Peace - and hugs, Marsha

Diane, so sorry you are sick on this sad day. We wish and wish and wish we could stop the clock because as it rolls on and on we are farther than ever before away from the last day we spent with our precious spouses. I passed my 2nd anniversary last December and it was a sad day but not so gut-wrenching as the first one was. I pray each day will be better for you and that a buyer will come soon for you. I admire your strength! You have been a great friend to me in my darkest days! I hope this day brought some good memories of you and Roger's happy life together! (((Hugs)))!!!

Diane-I think our feelings are all over the map on these days. I always spend these days by myself and doing something we would do. My anniversary is coming on August 11 and I plan on spending it alone partly because no one could stand all the tears I will have. Big Hugs to you.

What you are feeling is common. I have found each of the anniversaries were difficult, although each a little different. The 2nd anniversary of Cliff's death I was nearly killed in a very bad auto accident. The car was totaled, and so were my emotions.

What I have tried to do since then is think about where I am and where I've been and allow myself to feel whatever comes. I do know now that I can survive the anniversaries simply because I have survived the previous ones. I had hoped the 4th one was going to be easier. It wasn't. I don't mean to scare anybody, but I think you can expect some days to always be difficult and to need to spend some time in reflection in consequence.

I do hope your place sells soon and that you can get on with the changes you seem to be ready to make. I think at 2 years there is also a serious urge to make changes and get on with things, to not wait any longer. Just my two cents on that...

Sending you Much Love and Big Hugs,
Martha

Diane, thinking of you. How was your day yesterday? What did you do? Any words for us? I hope you made it through OK. Sending hugs to you!

My second anniversary of Graham's death will be on August 13. I can see that memories are at the front of my mind, along with flash backs of the good times at home and bad times in the hospital. Everything seems to flood back on a timetable all its own. My feeling are wrapped in cotton wool. Numbness and sadness alternating. I am making simple mistakes everywhere, the grocery store, the mail, etc. yep. two steps back again. the widow's dance.
As so many of you have said, at least at this point I know it will pass in its own time.
Blessings to you all, fern

Diane, it helps me to reach out to you today especially. Please try tp think about the happy, sweet memories with your beloved husband. And if you're like me, you must sense the genuine love that our wonderful DS group shares with each other; I feel blessed to have our group in my life. You are never alone, we are here for you. Keep the faith, dear friend.
Love and hugs, Nancy

I'm coming up to my 3rd anniversary. I completely understand about wanting more happiness in your life. It has to be hard on you, since you can't seem to sell your house and move on. Spending time with the grandkids had to be bittersweet, coming home alone now. I know you must have gotten the cold from them. It always happens that way.

Is there a way to rent your place, so you could move? Sometimes is it easier to rent and wait for the real estate market to get better.

I hope you can spend more time with your family. I know since you live so isolated it is extra hard on you.

Hugs,
Paula

I'm sorry I missed this post yesterday---I am a little behind you at 22 months. It is hard around those anniversary times. Last year I had a get together to honor Stan. I don't know what I will do this year. I do have my wonder friends coming up from Portland to be with me and my family is here. It just seems surreal to me to think it's been this long. It hurts and I miss hime and love him.
I wish (as I know you do) that you could sell your place and get to a place closer to your family. I have no idea how I would manage without my kids and grand kids being right here with me. They bring such comfort and I don't take it for granted---I know it's a blessing.
I hope you will feel better soon.
Many hugs,
Sallie

Yeah,, those anniversary dates of their death are always hard. Either I hit the grief wall on the date, right before, or right after. The third anniversary was worse for me than the second, but my husband was all about the number 3, he died on the 3rd..and so much more about 3. Thank God the other days during the third year were easier than the 1st and the days of the 2nd were somwhat easier than the 1st...well after the 15 month mark anyway for me..Somehow month 13 and 14 killed me..not sure why.

Anyway...big hugs to you as you go through and beyond this anniversary date...
hugs..
-Diana

OK what I did -

July 31, 2012 two yrs after the passing of my husband

Got up hacking coughing, had 101.8 temp, took cold medicine, went out fed horses, dogs, and cats
Started water pump to pump pond down so it would not overflow into pasture
Took shower, ate some breakfast had two cups of coffee and two orange juices
Felt better - drove into Yakima ~40+ miles away went to Costco got cake for going away shinding for two people Roger and I watched out for (elderly well more than we were) who are forced to move into town due to poor health & their place too much
Stopped got gas, ate at McDonalds (Mcbarfys) so I could use WIFI
headed for home, made dish for potluck, took a 1 1/2 hr nap went to potluck at park
That Couple was surprised but he could not make it was too ill.
We had a great time, many people were so nice to me because I ramroded this shinding while it was my husbands 2 nd anniversary of his death but they all said what I did - it was fittings
his memorial service was at that same place with a POTLUCK and BBQ his two favorite things....AND IT WAS he knew them well and knew this was a good thing for them....AND for me.
SO I have a few tears this morning because I want changes and wish I did not have to have them ....and being alone again isn't great....
MY Granddaughter, age 14, wants to when her Mom gets home from her training (for her job) go up to the mts again, and let some balloons go for Grandpa.....SO I think this Fri or Sat we will do that...

So maybe doing something nice for somebody Roger loved and cared for like I did helped - like I said I did not feel so tear eyed just kinda weird about the whole thing - but than Marti can attest now I am weird....(SMILE)

Just read this post. I am happy that you made it through the day even with all the challenges you faced. Anniversaries, special days have strange effects on us and we never know just how we can or will respond. You are a real trooper in that you managed to do all the things you needed to do. That is survival. Good for you. Hope you feel better physically.
Anne

Late reading your post. Sorry that you have been sick since your trip. I can't believe you did all of that 'running around' with a temp that high!!

Any special days that we had as a couple always puts us on memory lane. Each anniversary of their death is a little different and brings with it different moods.

As I've said before, I plan something on the anniversary of Joe's death. I do not want to sit here at home ~~ alone, and think about that night ~~ over and over. So far I've been with at least one of my kids, sometimes more than one, on that particular day. Since it is also my birthday, we plan something fun to do. Of course, that doesn't mean that I don't think of what happened on that date in 2007, I certainly do.

You doing something so nice for the elderly couple was a wonderful thing to do, I know that helped your feelings that day.

Hopefully, your awful cold, etc. will be gone very soon!

Hugs, Joely