I am so sorry for your loss. I have heard that anniversaries are really hard. I have just lost my wife, I am so much NOT looking forward to these special days. Hugs. Tiger

I have just passed the 2 year mark. Anniversaries are definitely incredibly sad. They say the broken heart always stays on some level but you build new muscles around the heart to help with the healing. That is what I am working on. Wishing you better days ahead.

My two year mark was last Thursday and it went better than I anticipated. I did not try to stay busy as I wanted to feel it and I did cry a lot. I visited the cemetery for the first time in months. I still find it so hard to visit the cemetery. I hope I am so sorry for your and all of our losses and that we need to be here, but know we understand your pain.

Russ.

Sweetpeas, Sending mega hugs for you to get through the day. Last Monday was a year for me. This weekend a wedding anniversary! You will get through this and, yes, tomorrow will be a better day.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Year 2 is indeed a challenge, we want to move on, but how? I understand perfectly. I am healing, but it is incredibly slow. I appear to be ok, but no one knows how I really feel.

God, I hate that, for you. I, too, just lost my wife. Thursday will be a month.

Already a month. It's been a giant, dark, blur. I had some feelings of normality, this morning. I even browsed plentyoffish.com. But I am nowhere near interested in seeing someone new. I guess I was just browsing. And to see how awful I felt, doing so..

My thoughts and Prayers are with you.....I am coming up on one year in a few weeks. Not looking forward to it.

A BIG hug to you.

I think that for those of us who did not lose someone suddenly, the grieving is a little different. My wife died last July, after several months of decline in and out of hospitals, and being home in a hospital bed, then one last trip to the hospital.

When I think about her death, that whole period is her death, not just the day she happened to die. She was so sick, on a ventilator, she couldn't talk (that must have been especially terrible for her :) and couldn't move her arms or legs. It was so terrible seeing her like that, and praying for her recovery, when the doctors told me there was nothing they could do except make her as comfortable as possible.

I'm not sure yet if the anniversary day will be significant for me. It's just another day in my life without her. I observed the first anniversary of my mom's death yesterday. I forgot to buy a candle, I thought it was today, so I burned some special incense on my altar.

When you speak of angels, it reminds me of my friend Edith who loved angels. She died two years ago, from cancer. I keep coming across a Christmas gift for her I was never able to give her, an angel, with her name on the wrapping. I'm not sure what to do with it now. Maybe I will unwrap it and put it on my altar, along with the mementoes of others I have lost.

"Browsing plenty of fish.com", after losing one's mate a month ago........what? Far be it for me to judge anyone for anything they do in the grieving process but this is not a good idea. From ANYONE'S perspective, this does not sound good.

I'm flabbergasted to say the least and beyond questioning what your motives are at best? Why are you visiting such a website at this time? Seriously, why?

Please forgive my bluntness and my forthrightness but I'm confused!

Sweetpea; to you I know exactly how you're feeling, I too am coming closer to the two year mark and I'm missing my man so badly.

Roz

Browsing sites like plentyoffish.com is not wrong or shocking to me and I'm sure many of others have done it. You are searching and searching is good. You are lost, right now and if you don't try to seek ways to spend your time you will never move past this time.

I don't think you're looking to find anything more than a way to spend lonely time other than spending it in total despair. I did it too. Not for the purpose of finding love, but to feel less alone in a safe way inside my home. We need people and although I would not be ready to take it to another step so soon we need to do whatever makes us feel better.

Keep doing what you feel helps you. But be cautious about falling into the trap that she can be replaced. I don't believe you are looking to replace her, but thought that should be said. Sharon

The guy is 46. Just a young feller. I know if I went first, my husband wouldn't have hesitated and with my blessing, because I wouldn't be there anymore even if I could be.

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad today sweetpeas and I know it's natural to mark the time as it passes.

For me, I'm trying very hard to keep on learning and growing through this whole awful process. It's the only way I know to keep from getting old and shutting down intellectually and emotionally. So I take classes, I read, I go to therapy for this grief, and I pay attention to my feelings to try to understand what I want from my life now.

No matter what, my wonderful, precious husband can't come back to me, but I'm so grateful that we were together, but now that he is not here anymore, I'm also trying to figure out how to live a meaningful life moving forward.

So I guess I'm saying that while I look back and remember my husband always, I also look forward and think of myself and my hopes and desires for my own life. I can't change the past, but I can make a good (or at least a little better) present and future for myself.

Roz, my mind has been all over the place. I simply looked at a few profiles and shut it off (I didn't make an account or anything). Part of me thinks it might help the "moving on" process. The other part just doesn't know.

And thanks... I didn't feel guilty enough, about it.

themaster, will you forgive me for being so dang blunt! Nobody ever accused old Roz of beating around the bush!

You have every right to feel the way your feeling and respond to those feelings anyway that works for you [short of hurting someone else!] I didn't have the right to make you feel badly and I'm so, so sorry for doing that. May I buy you dinner? I'm not being trite, I'm serious, I owe you and I ALWAYS pay my debts.

I know what happens to our minds, hearts and souls......I'm HERE with you. I, too, had thoughts and visions that I didn't have the nerve to share with anyone and had I, you would have thought I had lost more than my partner in life.

We're friends and I was too quick to judge and it was thoughtless of me. Please allow me the frailty and forgive me!

Please be my friend.

Warmly,
Roz