Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

2 years

cathylynn58
cathylynn58
2 years ago on June 24 Bob was diagnosed with a tumor in his spinal cord and sent to Mayo Clinic for surgery 2 years ago on July 30 we found out he had lung cancer. 2 years ago on July 5 he had his surgery after the PET scan showed no cancer other than his lung. 2 years ago on July 9 we found out that his tumor in the spine was the lung cancer......last year I didn't even remember these dates....I guess I was so focused on the months since his passing. But now I can't escape them. 2 years ago sounds so very long ago. I am so afraid of losing him again, the memories of him. I am so afraid
penntehe63
penntehe63
Cathy, I haven't been checking in as often in recent months, but have to say I understand what you've written. It was 2 years for me on July 16, and there will days when I think I've made progress. Then one day out of the blue, things are back at the beginning. Try to think of the good times and happy memories with your beloved Bob. Not always easy, I know...but try to smile at a sweet memory you shared together. If I can smile at some little thing, I feel uplifted from my sadness for a little while even. Sending good wishes, Blessings, and (((HUGS))), Nancy
deleted_user
deleted_user
Cathy I can so relate to that. I broke a ceramic dish that we kept our wash rags in. It was probably less than 5 dollars new, but it has been in our bathroom for 20+ years and when it broke I cried for hours.

It seems to me that he is still leaving me and you are the first person that explained in words so I can explain it to my kids. I am afraid of losing his memory. I feel like I have already lost everything else.
sandeestttn
sandeestttn
My husband had a favorite plate he ate every meal off of, for the last 45 years. He never wanted anyone else to eat off it. He was in the hospital 5 weeks, the day after he died, I opened the cabinet, it fell out and broke. The kids all wanted that plate. They had seen him eat every meal, all their lives. Another memory gone.
jewells1
jewells1
Cathy, we both have memories so close in dates, times and incidents, even the departure of our husband. I am sure that you will know him and have those as well as the good memories for as long as we both continue. ....
A song comes on and I see John kick into his own little dance, even if a few seconds pass until he realized I am smiling at him, Then the dimples pop and he does a few more steps in defiance. The song came on yesterday and stuck with me all day. It was one that always brought out the little dance in him.