There is nothing wrong with you. Just 4 months for me. I found the 2nd month very hard. All the "have to do" things were taken care of. Family has so get back to their lives and jobs. You feel like they forgot what you are going through. The emptiness you feel is this void where our loved one was in our lives and we don't know how or what to do. In time you will feel, it may come in lots of tears, but you will "feel". I was so upset I didn't feel my husband around me, but just the past few weeks started noticing signs. I think I wasn't emotionally ready or able to see or feel him earlier. But with time have noticed things, they may of been there before, I don't know. I have heard children are more receptive to feeling their passed loved ones, then adults, innocence? Give yourself a break, take your time when you can and rest, long quite baths, pamper yourself, you deserve it. Hugs.

Thank you .... You are so right about everyone getting back to 'normal'
And here I am still lost and hurting.and some people expect me to be ok. lol I don't even know ok is anymore

Family going back to their "normal" lives is the second phase of the devastation for all of us...everyone has their jobs, homes, families and priorities that were there before our loss, and they don't really have a choice...all we get to go back to are the cold, lonely tomorrows.
Allow yourself to believe that your loved one is never far, and soon you will learn to feel him with you...it is not something that is done with the 5 physical senses, because he is Spirit...but over time you will learn, you are also Spirit within your human body.
Every time you think of him, grieve for him, and feel him in your heart...that is not just you doing that...it is because he is with you,
Read anything by Patrick Mathews.

Im sorry you lost your husband. Your still very early into grieving. It will take awhile. It took me a long time until I had a dream with sean in it, talking to me. It will happen, just allow yourself to have some quiet time, and your brain has a way of shuttiing yourself offf from being hurt. You will know when its time, if your husband sends you a dream, comes in a visit, or his presence is ffelt. I didnt have anything like you, but I did affter about 6 months. Give it time, there is nothing wrong with you. Much love and big hugs carla

The journey is so hard with many bumps in the roadsomehow and somewhere you will see some light,,,My husband also died suddenly a year ago in two days. I still have feelings of severe loss that washes over me,,but I also know I have come a long way and proud of myself,,,it helped to belong to an upbeat widow groupHope you find your way thru this. You came to the right place,,,

I remember the first month someone saying that everyone would be getting back to their lives soon and i didn't realize that was what was happening right now till just now. All of you offer such good advice and I can't thank y'all enough. It helps me so much but you know, it saddens me a little that you all have to hurt like I am.

A month into it I was still so much in shock that if she had walked in front of me I don't know if I would have seen her. I operated completely on instinct. Now at eight months the grief and pain is there but I am more trying to put it into perspective and heal and accept she will never be here on earth with me again, but I will see her again when it's my time.
Peace, Tim

No it must be normal because it is only 3 months for me and I feel exactly the same as you. All I do is cry I want my Skip back so much

Sorry for your loss. It is the same for me as well it has been 10 weeks that my Wife is out of my life and it has been tough to look at pictures or videos. I have dreams about her but she has not spoken in any of the dreams. I hope one day you will feel him close by and no nothing is wrong with you. Take care Patricia.

I'm in pretty much the same place as you are. It has been 6 weeks, everyone has gone back to their normal lives, and people aren't calling, texting, or even really asking how I'm doing anymore. It's not for lack of caring, because my family and friends are wonderful and helped me so much right after Steve passed. It's true that when all the things you have to take care of are done, you feel so lost and alone. I feel I have no purpose now. I fake it at work and I guess people think I'm okay now, but I'm not. That's why I come here.

I, too, am struggling with not "feeling" him. I am lucky that writing in my journal is helpful, and sometimes I do talk to him. But others talk about feeling their loved one's love and comfort, but that has not happened for me yet. Every night I ask him for a sign that he is watching over me, but nothing yet. So there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. From this site and these wonderful people here I have learned that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and you can't compare yourself to others. This grief is a personal journey, different for everyone. He will come to you and you will feel him, just like I know my Steve will do the same. We are impatient because we are so lost, but they will come. Try to have faith.

So sorry for your loss,, PatriciaP -

I just approaching 8 months since I lost my wife. The first
two months or so are still a blur to me. I remember very
little from the first two or so months. The initial shock began
to mingle with reality.

Around that time, family, friends, neighbors, etc., had already
heard my " story " and had their own busy lives. It was at
that point that I really began to feel alone.

The level of pain was something and is something I never
knew existed. I had lost family members and friends over the
years but somehow had disassociated myself from the
deaths. I think that goes back to my military service during
the Vietnam days. I had not been cold about death / grief
but it was always as though it was an out of body experience
with death in the past.

At about two or so months, it seemed my brain had turned
to mush. It just wouldn't function. I finally decided I had to
take it one minute at a time and then one hour at a time
and then one day at a time. At almost 8 months, I am still
going back and forth between one minute /ne hour / one
day but I really don't think about the " tomorrows " without
her.

I do spend a lot of time talking to her. I have no proof she
can hear me at this point but I am hopeful she can hear me
and will let me know along the way.

PatriciaP, you may be at that junction of shock and reality
as they mesh together and absolutely nothing seems to
make sense. At almost 8 months, it still doesn't make sense
to me and the pain is still as strong as it was back then but
I am " learning " to cope with it one minute at a time.

I have never been a man to cry. But I have not stopped for
almost 8 months. The source of the tears are a mixture
frustration, loneliness, pain and the realization that I have
lost the most important person in my wife. I don't know how
to explain it but the tears also reinforce my knowledge of
the massive love I had for her and still have for her.

I was 16 years older than her. We both expected me to go
first and I lived in fear of leaving her behind to deal with
grief. Sadly, I lived in fear of it but didn't really understand
grief until now. If I had known it is like this, my fears of
leaving her behind would have been even greater.

I have to live the rest of my life without her by my side. But
I know she will never have to arrange or attend my funeral
or shed even one tear over my death. She will never have to
sit and wait for the phone to ring or for me to come home
from work that would never happen. Grief over my death
would likely have destroyed her. She lived in fear of my
death as well. So, I look at it from the point I am doing
something for her. She will never have to go through this
and I am going through this with love for her from the
deepest depths of my soul.

I know that I will never be " OK " or will never be normal by
standards of many others. The wound is too deep. My goal
is just to be able to cope with it and I am not thinking long
term beyond that objective.

Minute at a time, PatriciaP.

Blessings -

Darrell