Yes it is. being in a house full of people and yet so alone. I have struggled with this same issue. hang on. everyone here is with you. God Bless

chipstears

Just returned from a going away party for a friend, there were at least 50 people an I felt very alone. I wanted to run out of there and not look back.

Totally normal. My first Thanksgiving was the first real family gathering since losing my husband. I held it together pretty well until we all joined hands and they began to say the blessing. I fought the tears but couldn't, I struggled to break away from the circle and they held onto me, finally grief siezed me in its grip and I went with it, to the shock and horror of everyone there. We don't do the family Thanksgiving any more.

Yes, I am sorry to say that it is normal. So painfully normal!!!! Sending hugs. Sue

Cliff died Veterans Day, 2 weeks before Thanksgiving. Normally we would have been putting things together as a team for Thanksgiving - he always did the turkey while I did everything else, side by side in the kitchen. I was still in shock when Thanksgiving came, Friends took us in and fed us that day, I was a mess. Surrounded by friends and family, and yes very much alone.

The second year, I tried to do a normal Thanksgiving - big dinner, family, etc. It just heightened the awareness of the empty chair at the table. I hated it, and so did the kids.

The third year, family was traveling, so it was just me and my two sons. We decided 'screw it' - we had a lovely, quiet, relaxed day just the 3 of us, made home-made pizza for dinner - my boys' favorite meal (turkey never was!) - and just enjoyed each other's company and watched a movie together. No stress, no awkwardness, no big prep or clean-up. Way better for us!

The holidays are always a challenge, and the first couple years are the most challenging I think. Hang in there. I think it was amazing you were able to do all you did do for your family. I think you deserve to pamper yourself after all that.

Love and Big Hugs,
Martha

Reading everyone's responses mirror my experiences.
Wow do I hate walking this path the lord has chosen for us.

I was recently informed by my youngest son that I am expected to host Thanksgiving. I know that my son's are grieving and don't want things to change, so I will cook all the favorites.

My daughter in law lost her mother 12/31/2013 and her father and sister will be here. I am going to take this opportunity to make new memories.

Hugs, Sandi

I feel very alone even though everyone is there I lost my husband 18 months ago and I still find it very hard Going to Thanksgiving supper at my brothers and I its hard to go its not the same . I use to enjoy having the special days at my home but now I I can't be bothered I feel like I don't have the energy any more to prepare a big meal or even care about the things that use to be so special to us as a family. Its good to know we are not alone that others feel the same. I find one day at a time seems to help its very hard to look into the future .

I felt alone too, no matter how many people were with me. It's the loss of the special one who is not here physically. In time you will know his presence is around you, but it's not the same as having him to talk to and hold your hand. Sharon

Yes perfectly normal especially on the 1st special day. House is full but that one special person who took such an important part of the holiday and everyones life was missinf this is my 3rd. Ken cooked the whole meal on holidays down to from scratch buns. He is always talked about all he did to make it so special. Its easier but really no less lonely without him
Bless you and let those tears flow better out than in

I am right now having Thanksgiving dinner with friends and not coping well at all. Want to run out of the house and scream!!! Please Lord help me. They do not get it all!!!!

Normal? It's the new abnormal. Thanksgiving is coming up and I'll be having turkey alone. My kids go to the in-laws for the holidays. What does that say about me?

My SIL invited us last year sowe all went. I took a seperate car as I knew I wasnt going to last. It was so hard without my wife but I didthe best I could. Not sure about this year I wontbr making turkeyhere.
Russ

Like most responses here, yes we can feel very alone even among many people. I give you credit for being able to get through your dinner and family gathering. I know I couldn't have done it. As a matter of fact, this thanksgiving my daughters & I are going away. This thanksgiving will be a year since my husband died. He died the over thanksgiving weekend last year. Thanksgiving used to be my favorite holiday. We always hosted the dinner at our house. I don't think I will ever be able to host thanksgiving dinner again. I'd just assume skip the darn holiday all together. Sorry, didn't mean to make this post about how I feel when it was you who asked if it is ok to feel alone. But like I said, Yes it is ok to feel alone.

So very sorry for your loss and, yes...feeling alone in a crowd of any sort seems to be status quo for all of us. Reading all the comments here...I'm reminded that while each of us is struggling in our own way with our uniquely personal tragedies, we are all united by them too. I am dreading this first holiday season without the love of my life by my side. Just last week... I was informed by my sister in law that I will be spending Thanksgiving at her home with her family & friends this year and I am expected to stay for the entire 4-day weekend. I love her and appreciate her kindness and thoughtfulness so very much but I'm not sure I want to go. Thanksgiving was always a very special holiday for my husband and I...it will be a very difficult and very sad & lonely day for me no matter where I am. Sending you hugs, love and support. Sharing your pain.
- CJ

Yep - I think feeling alone in a crowd is the new normal. I was with friends on Saturday for Rich's Birthday and felt totally alone and sad! I know the holidays will be here before we know it! Sounds like you had the strength to get through yours! I definitely wouldn't have the strength to have a thanksgiving dinner at my house! Best to you.