I can relate to what you are saying, it has been 19 months since I have heard his voice. I have had several losses, but he was always there with me. The time this is hell in so many ways. Just making through the day is a victory. We are survivors we will make this journey a little battle worn never the less.....
Hugs to you today:)

I lost my soulmate two years and three weeks ago. I miss him as much now as ever and you're right - losing him compares with nothing else, it really is the absolute worst.

l know we would all like to turn the clock back,but we also know that this is impossible.lt is only through remembering,keeping the memories alive inside us,that we keep our loved ones alive inside us.
lt has been 19 months for me since Frank died,and l know what you mean when you say the death of a partner is different to any other death.We had with our partners a special bond,unique in many ways that you only sometimes get once in a lifetime,when this bond is broken by death,we try and keep the pathway open between life and death in a way.We do this by still communicating with them in our minds,in our hearts,hoping for signs that they are still their,waiting for us.l have had many signs that Frank is still around me,so my faith in knowing that his spirit lives on is strong within me.
No one has said to me to take pictures down,move on,if ever they did,l,d tell them were to go.We are all different in how we grieve,we all have our own set of beliefs,and we all believe what we want to,we try anything to keep ahead of this grieving,and l think that is the answer.lf we accept that somedays are rough,other days are bearable,then maybe in the future it will balance itself out,until we find acceptance,and move on.For me l agree with you,time will never heal completely,there will always be scars left behind,its impossible for there not to be,l,m sure that there are people many years after losing their partner who still grieve for them,they may have moved on with their lives,but the memories will still be there.
l miss Franks physical presence,l miss the man,he was my whole life,but my bond with him is still strong and will be until l die.
The way to keep his memory alive is to talk about him as often as you can,or talk to him,feel his presence with you all the time,and for the people who say move on,take the pictures down,my advice is to ignore them,do what your heart tells you.
take care
Alice

Ditto to what Alice said. Just over 2 years for me, and I can relate. But the cold, logical part of my mind knows there's no going back. The looking forward part's a little hazy. I can't live Joe's life and mine, just mine, but with Joe firmly entrenched in my heart. I'm doing it, but damn if sometimes I can't find the sense of it. Just truckin' on...

I can relate. I am at 19 months and although I am going forward with my life, I have memories of my husband which make each day bearable. I am still feeling that sense of emptiness and loneliness, but I am a person of faith, so I presume God has a reason for me to be here.....maybe one day soon I will figure out what that is..... As for people telling you to take down your pictures, etc., that is strictly up to you. Someone said recently that the most advice we get is from people who have not suffered the loss, so ignore them and do what feels right for you. I think all us here can relate - you are not alone. laurabp

FIRST, A HUG TO YOU AND TOM. I WAS JUST THINKING THIS MORNING THAT I FEEL LIKE I KEEP REPLAYING A MOVIE IN MY HEAD. SOME OF IT IS THAT THE WORLD WANTS US TO ERASE OUR LIVES, SO WE PLAY IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN OUR HEADS AND HEARTS. (OF COURSE, MOST OF IT IS SIMPLY THE LOVE THAT MAKES US REPLAY ALL OF IT). ANYONE THAT EVER TELLS YOU TO TAKE PICTURES DOWN..... I WOULD SIMPLY TAKE THEIR PICTURE DOWN AND ESCORT THEM TO THE DOOR. I THINK WITH THE POSSIBLE EXCEPTION OF LOOSING A CHILD, NOTHING CAN EVER COME CLOSE TO LOOSING YOUR SOUL MATE. WITH EACH OTHERS HELP, LET'S ALL TRY AND TAKE A TINY STEP FORWARD TOGETHER.

I know. I'm less than two months into this. I just realized tonight that there was no one within 1/4 mile or more of me. And no one would hear or be bothered if I screamed how unhappy I am, how much I miss my Tom. And i cried and screamed. Am now just crying. I want my old like back. I want Tom. I don't know how to do this. I do know pretty much how you feel and I wish I knew some way of making all of us feel less awful.

It is almost 9 months for me and I have had my rough days and good days. I am starting to have more good then bad. I can smile at memories now with little tears and cry when I need to without hesitation. the emotional roller coaster is overwhelming at times..but for those who said to move on or remove your partners pictures haven't a clue as to how much you have actually lost and they never will until they have stepped into your shoes which we would wish upon no one...I still have pictures of Wayne all over even as a background on my laptop. Our kids do also..Just because I have his pictures around does not mean I am not trying to carry on, as he would want me too..it just means I love him and miss him and it comforts me to see his smiling face. Everyone has their road they must endure to find a little good in all this. I have known widows who are over 20 yrs into this and they still have their partners / spouses pictures hanging. They were a major part in our lives and they always will be. I have just started remembering happier memories lately and not the sad ones of his passing..and the happier ones give me strength each day to carry on. Allow yourself a smile now and then when thinking of him and the happy memories will appear out of no where and just take them in and smile and remember he is watching over you and smiling with you. Take care.. shelly

Sure, I can relate. It's been 3 years for me also and it's hell. No other word can describe the conflicting emotions and the terrible sense of loss. I am dating now a wonderful guy and yet I still have Don's last phone message on my cell phone which I listen to often. I've found happiness where I never expected to with my new friend, but it doesn't replace the loss of Don. What it does do for me is give me something to enjoy. It may be volunteering, excercise, or a project you used to like that you can get involved in. If it helps, keep at it. If it's not helping try something else. Perhaps reading a good book, that was my escape for a long time. Go outside and look at the clouds and tree's and how beautiful they are. I know, I used to look at them and get angry that the world was moving on without me. That's okay. You have a right to be angry.

Just take care of you and give yourself what you need whatever that is. And remember, I'm thinking of you and sending you a big hug. :) Sharon

I am 2 1/2 yrs. into this and I miss him every day. His pictures will always be displayed in my home as they always have. We dated for 5 yrs. and were married almost 38 so he will always be a main stay for me. He remains in my life and always will. I do have good days with family, grandchildren, traveling with friends, and working at home and I can laugh again sometimes. But these things are all somewhat bittersweet because he is not here to share them with me. I constantly have to fight not letting this overshadow the good times I do have. There are still bad days or moments but fewer than there used to be. I do not believe the old saying time heals all wounds but have found it does ease the pain and I can function again most times. I have lost other family members but have not lost a child thank goodness. The loss of other family members does not compare to the devastating loss of DH. The death of a spouse/partner changes our whole lives, future, and ourselves. We are survivors and can do this . You have all been a big part in putting me back on track when I derail. Take care, Sandra