Missingt,

I understand how you feel, I dread holidays and other special days, I wish they would just pass and I didn't have to acknowledge them. Unfortunately, I have children that don't seem to understand that.

Since we had to move, it has been a bit easier, I won't have to celebrate Easter at my mom and dads this year, and if I am lucky, no one will call to ask how I am doing, which then makes you acknowledge what day it is.

For Christmas, I tried hard to maintain the traditions we had started together for our family. I knew she would want the house decorated and a tree up, lights outside, so I made sure I got it done, even though it was hard.

I try to look upon remembering as a good thing, I try to focus on all the fun stuff we did and the good times we had, the intimate moments we shared, sometimes just being together not saying a word. Sometimes it makes me cry, but I try to just remember how lucky I was to have had those 25 yrs 1 month and 8 days with her (we married exactly 1 year from our first date).

May your memories bring a smile to your face, and may you always remember how fortunate you were to have found someone to love and love you back.

CD

I'm not looking forward to any of the holidays... I know others are going to try & make me celebrate them, even though I want to skip them in their entirety...

I don't think I created new traditions, though I tried. I personally think that the new traditions evolved through just living through the special day.
In my case, the traditions of my childhood left, replaced with my children growing up and new traditions. After the loss of my husband the traditional celebration became unbearable. But as I waded through I found ways to get through the times.
I don't feel I have a tradition anymore. I just do what I please. Sharon

I honestly have had to let go of the idea of "tradition" years ago, after my sister passed away in 2005, and my Mom passed away in 2007. All the holidays were built around all of us getting together, so when someone so important is missing, you can't do that anymore. Now, with my husband passing away in October of 2014, I simply don't have any expectations about holiday traditions at all. Instead, I just do the activities I really enjoyed doing, even from a very young age. At Easter, the thing I loved most was the new flowering plants you can buy and while I would so much rather be buying one and bringing it to my Mom or sister like we always used to do, instead now I go outside and put in some new plants and work in the sunshine on Easter, remembering the people I love who aren't here any more. And at Thanksgiving, while I would so much rather have my wonderful husband in the kitchen telling me how great everything smelled as I cook, instead I focused on a part of the holiday we always loved, which was visiting my other sister for dessert and games. As sad as we were this first thanksgiving without my husband, the kids still wanted to be with their cousins and aunt and uncle for games and laughing. So I can't continue most "traditions" but I try to keep these good feelings and good memories alive by taking just the essence of what the holidays mean for me, and doing just what I want to do, not what I "have to" do.

For me, Easter is a Holy Day so other than going to church, there are no traditions. In the Italian culture, holidays tend to revolve around church and food. Unless my dad is here, there is little in the food department.

Maggie

I've always re-invented Holidays throughout the years, differing circumstance(s). Nothing wrong with re-invention of self and tradition. Use your imagination . . . or let your inner child have free reign. Do something fun this Easter, like color eggs (even if on your own), go to an Easter Egg Hunt and watch the children search. Again, so much fun. We need to have youngsters around us to remind that we were once a child . . . and there is inherent "life" that is beyond our grief.

Wishing you a peaceful Easter. Hugs, Dayna

Easter would have been our anniversary....I don't know what I will do, may even skip Church. Will not accept any dinner plans.....wish I could just fast forward the entire month of April, my husbands birthday and he passed in April.....taking it one day at a time.
Mary

I have in the past couple of years celebrated holidays mainly for my son's benefit. My husband never really liked the idea of too much materialism around Christmas and Easter (especially Easter), my parents live in another city, and his family live in another province. At Christmas, although he was still at home, Tom was not feeling well, and spent most of it in bed. I spent NYE online polishing off a bottle of sparkling wine myself. He went into hospital for the last time in mid January, and passed away only 2 weeks ago, so that memory is, unfortunately, tied in with Easter and my birthday, which comes only a couple of days later. Other than giving my son his annual Easter basket, there won't be any celebrating in this house...but I do plan to honour the resurrection, as I always do, and light a candle for my husband....so in a sense, lighting the candle for my husband is a new tradition, only not a happy one. Maybe next year will be different, but I can't think past tomorrow right now.
That being said, though, I hope you all have a peaceful Easter, and I hope there is some happiness that comes out of it somewhere...

This will be my first holiday without my husband. I am not able to go to church. Just too painful still. May go to our friends for dinner but I have a plan to leave if it gets too painful. So hard to do anything without him and we did everything together. It was just us so I cant really create any new traditions. We had our own with friends.
This whole year is going to be a nightmare for me.

Thank you all for sharing!
It is hard for all of us and I am so grateful for this website and for support that we give each other!
Sending love and peace to All!

I have not been to church in so long and can't return to our old church....too many painful memories.

I will probably to back to a church near me where Ben and I worshipped for many years....but not on Easter, I could not keep it together. Oldest son is taking me out to dinner but I would rather just stay here with my memories.....