My Hospice group had everyone bring in a picture, and sort of introduce their husbands/wives.

Thanks we did that last night ! very emotional for all....

This is going to sound a realy stupid...but, season changes.

i find myself viewing the seasons as a time count...and not having Frank here to share in the customary seasonal events. Simple things such as going to an orchard in the Fall or getting the yard ready in the spring. I think about all that he is not here to share with me.

maybe it's a time thing...I am counting time by seasons.

Last week my grief group read "Tear Soup" and then we wrote a recipe for our own tear soup. Adding in all the good and bad memories of our lives together. I cried so much, but after, I felt just a little better for getting it all down.

For me, right now, the worst thing is coping with the loneliness and finding something constructive to do with my time.

You might look over the Mourner's Bill of Rights for ideas as that covers a lot of the things we all have to deal with and struggle to get others to understand. I'm at 39 months and I still find it useful to reread it from time to time.

Love and Hugs, Martha

You might bring up subjects that each widow struggles with, like sleeping, eating right, how to get things done around the house. It might help, for everyone to know, they aren't in the same boat, and people might have suggestions on how to make it better,
Paula

I'm with MissingFrank - the changing seasons. I looked out my window on Sunday morning and noticed buds on the trees - a clear indication of approaching spring. It made me so sad to think yet another season has passed without my husband.

In my opinion, I would keep it light - like your husbands/wives favorite hobby, etc. The reason I'm suggesting this is that at least with my group, I ended up ''borrowing'' every other persons grief. I was roped into going after Jerry was gone for a while, and the people there were new - sooo sad. You don't have to have a laugh riot, but let them relax a little, tell their stoies, etc. It's an awesome responsibility to lead a group like this - but don't expect to solve their grief. Of course it's a somber occasion, but people need relief. xoxo hope this helps

I agree with Parmella. Dealing with the lonelyness is the hardest part as it does not go away or lighten up during the first part of the Grief Journey. "HOW TO COPE or WHAT DO YOU DO TO GET THROUGH THE LONELINESS?"
Good luck and Peace to you,
Dave

The loneliness seems to be a key topic.

Another topic: just when you think you are going forward, after a long or short period of time you feel you are back to square one -
The best advice I have read is - DO not beat yourself up and you are normal - I guess what I am trying to say is the various stages all seem the same from many people here - the 6 month period - the one yr period - the two yr period - many people here seem to share the same setbacks and forwards - AND it seems when a bad period comes on, many are devastated they are even going through it
I am not sure how to address that topic but just a thought,

Loneliness and how to deal with it. Seems like no one visits or calls much since my husband passed.

loneliness is the hard part. Having been married to the 'mayor' Mike...who knew what was going on around town and in friends lives I never realized how cut off I'd become while caring for him. Use to be so social but now have to find my social side again...just hard when you really need someone to be beside you and don't have the energy or confidence to reach out...Suggest exercises for the group to do to help one another out of the loneliness by bonding with one another. Nothing like face to face and hugs. God bless you and your group. Hugs, D

As strong as I am and as much as I make an effort to stay positive, there are those times, for no apparent reason, that grief grabs hold and takes me to that dark place of sadness. Some of this is brought upon by being lonely. I have family and friends to keep me company but it is a different sort of loneliness. When this grief grabs at me I really try to divert my attention to some activity and not allow myself to fall prey to it. I think this is a topic that would be helpful to those widowed no matter how short or long they have been on this journey. If anyone who participates has a better remedy for chasing this grief away, please share it here.

It's very apparent that we all struggle with the same sad issue
being lonely....loneliness.... being alone..... and I have no idea
how to get past it... because even though I do get out and volunteer,
have friends and family that call and visitors I still hate being home
alone , living alone, coming home alone, waking up alone, going
places alone....