I too have so much doubt and so many questions. People keep advisin me to get a condo. First of all, i love my porch and memories. Second I have grandchildren and love my yard for them. Right now my daycare business is in my home, so a change of address would mean a change of jobs. My house also needs major repairs. But i DO still have a morgtage and cannot afford the needed repairs. So with so much indecision, I just get up one day at a time. IF not selling dont feel completely right, i will not do it. It is afterall a lifelong decision, that can always be made another day, but cant be reversed once i do it. Thats just me. If you are on the fence, i would wait a bit longer for the bigger decisions. Remember Rome wasnt built in a day. Good luck

I am discovering, since finding DS, we, as a group seem to have many of the same problems - case in point: Our house was built around 1900, is literally falling apart and has basically no value. We had already decided not to put a lot of money into the place and sell it as a tear down since the value is in the land. If that is the case with your house I would say do not put a lot of money into the structure. This weekend I will be repairing stucco with Quickcrete - $14 instead of something like $2400. Do what you can or maybe hire a handyman service to do some of the repairs. I am also stuck here until the market turns (which isn't going to happen soon in my area), so I am doing what it takes to keep the house from being a hazard.
If you like leasing vehicles I would continue to lease - you can probably find a vehicle in the same price range as your current one. I think you'll find you are much more capable than you think ;-), in fact I know you will.

Even though we downsized in 2008, the house we bought is still too big for me and I'm stuck here until the market recovers. Our house in NOLA was 150 years old and ALWAYS needing repairs. The house we bought is 50 years younger, but had been completely gutted and rebuilt when we bought it, so it's like new and repairs have been minimal so far. Hate to think of what my house in NOLA would be like now had I been left there alone. It too had been leveled several times. You could always call a few companies for estimates and decide from there. If you need $$$, home equity loans usually have cheaper rates than mortgages.

I hear ya.

I just made a major purchase and It made me realize that, as a couple, we had a fairly evolved decision making process. The simple and trivial stuff was just easy. Major stuff where we were in alignment was a process of convincing each other that expense was OK, we would take turns playing devils advocate. Major decisions where we did not agree was a long process, we would basically have to make our case to the other and if it fell short then we would not move forward. Sometimes we never could (like buying a tractor for the ranch) but often we would eventually come to an agreement on a compromise that really turned out to be the right decision.

I now have to do that on my own and it sucks.

-Pete-

We had to have our house releveled, too. I would rate that as very, very important. Because, if not releveled, walls will crack, plumbing pipes will develop tiny breaks in them from stress, bricks or stones in fireplace hearths will crack in the concrete.

The 2nd most important, to me, if the roof. We finally decided to go with the standing seam metal roofing. It is installed with a nice styrofoam lining to help insulate. For the first time in 13 years, I have no water leaks. ALSO, my utility bill have gone WAY down. I can't believe I am saving a hundred dollars a month average.

How much you value your house and how long you want to stay there will, of course, determine how much you want to invest in it. For me, I'm here until the hearse comes. So I am fixed up and ready to ride out the rest of my life here. Best wishes in your decision,and good luck!!

It does seem we all have similar problems,especially when it comes to decision making. Even though I was the one who kept up with all the finances and paid all the bills etc, I still miss having my husband here to help make the actual decisions. He always deferred to me where the financial decisions were concerned if there was a disagreement, because I was the one who kept the books balanced and made sure things were paid on time, so I knew more about what we could afford than he did---but we talked about them, I had his opinion, and it made it easier. I haven't had any major problems with the house since he passed, and I don't have any intention of getting a new car any time soon, mine has less than 70,000 miles on it and I intend to drive it until it gives me a reason not to---when that time comes I will be lost, but even the small everyday things are hard for me---waterhoses that leak, simple things that I never gave a second thought to, now are my problems to solve and I don't like it one bit---I need him here to handle the little things as well as the big things. I think we are all pretty much in the same boat, we will have to learn to make those decisions and handle those small and big things ourselves--and I am hoping we are all a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for. I guess we just need to pray for each other and kee encouraging each other to grow and gain strength and confidence along the way.

I am stuck too with having to move to an old house and all the above problems, except the leveling. But, the wood exterior is rotting, and I am fearful rats and snakes will come inside. So I am making that a priority, along with the roof.
I think whatever keeps you safe, at what you can afford is the first choice.

Car stuff is overwhelming, too. Myself, I have no idea what to do with my car and his truck..Finacially, I Can't keep both, but, I seem to be doing it. Thinking time will help in my decistion making.

Whats that guy on TV Money talks: He just had a thing on about never never lease unless you are part of a company, went into specifics about the extra costs: 1) the mileage restrictions (I certainly w/go over the mileage) 2) went into long run it does cost more even tho'payments per/mo are less (I did not really pay attention as I never leased) Had a good chart up that truly made me believe him but... if thats what you have done successfully for you ???

You need to have a person who knows cars (or insist you take it to YOUR reputable mechanic to check out) on used cars, and can you dicker good? Autobytel(check out cars with things you want on a vehicle) I am so good my husband, brother, son, sister and friend gets me to go with them. Bought my F250 pickup in 1999 ($35,000 down to $29,900) still have it with 156,000 miles so will keep it.

Dave Ramsey is a financial expert. You can Google his name. FYI.

Your house sounds like mine. Lots of work that needs to be done. But I just cant get motivated to do much. I had it releveled a few weeks ago...it has already settle again. My husband used to do that..anything and everything he did it... I did get another car..a few months ago...my other one was 11 years old...loved that car...but it was beginning to have problems. I hope you get a good car... ~Blessings.Debbie.

Basically, do what you have to do, a chip off the list at a time. Otherwise, you are going to overwhelm yourself.

First, with the car. The only experience I have is a discussion had with our dealer/friend. His opinion is that leases are just throwing good money away, unless you are into having that new car look all the time. As long as I have four wheels and it gets me where I need to go, I'm happy.

If the expert opinion on the foundation is to leave it alone, then leave it alone. Since the house is paid off, can you swing the monthly payments on a line of credit, or home equity loan to bundle all the needed improvements at one time?

The alternative is to list the house in a sucky market, and possibly take a loss. It might pay to enlist the opinion of a trusted realtor so that you can weigh the pros and cons of selling or staying.

IF you decide to sell, let me know. I have a trusted friend/ex-neighbor/realtor who sold ours in 3 months.....as I was thinking of staying. Different house, different hood, but who knows.