Live your life for now. You have much to recover from. Trust in God. He will guide you and if you put your trust in Him the plan will be His and will be shown to you. Be open in your heart for life, it was meant to be lived. The future is...the future
Don't give yourself more to worry about than you already have now...
Hugs and have a good weekend,
Linda

Just like we couldn't have predicted that we would lose our husbands in our early 50's, we can't predict what our future will bring. I think we just have to plan for our futures as best we can and see what comes.

I will be 52 in two weeks. My whole life was planned around my husband, including my retirement plans. Now that he is gone, those plans are gone as well. I'm planning to be alone for the rest of my life, but who knows what the future will bring.

The most important lesson is that we plan to do something with our lives. Losing Stephen so young has taught me how precious each day is.

Make plans for yourself.... but be open to whatever comes your way.

I'm nearing my mid-50's and still working. My retirement plans vanished also when my husband passed away.

Having no plans to remarry, and with no children, life is perfectly fine the way it is. Dating and companionship is not entertained, nor will it be as far as I am concerned.

My mantra is to always live just for today, because we don't know if a tomorrow will come for us. I don't expect to have any regrets when I'm 66 and beyond, for I'm living the life that I desire, and by what I feel in my heart.

Blessings, Debbie

Hi ~I'm 61, and my husband died when I was almost 52. I'm retired and disabled now. I certainly have no plans to remarry.

I did a little dating a couple of years ago, and I hated it. I was still comparing everyone to my husband, and even at my age, all these men wanted was a roll in the hay. Sorry but this LADY isn't into that kind of stuff. At first I thought I'd like some companions, hip or possibly remarry, but no soap. I don't want any more of that nonsense. Dave spoiled me.

I'm perfectly happy in my solitude. It's nice to be comfortable in your own skin. God bless and take care. hugs, Lee

I was retired, we had planned our life and finances around being able to retire at 55 (taping into hers first, then mine). I am glad we did as Diana got to experience 2 1/2 years of the retirement she worked so hard for. In these last years we had become closer than I ever thought possible.

With her passing my retirement ended and I won't be able to access mine for a couple of years so I am back at work. It is mostly good as the distaction keeps me from spending all my time in memories. While I am OK alone I do thrive on interaction so being at work helps. That said, I can't imagine being able to be WITH anyone but my love. Over the course of 40 years you really do merge into one and her departure has left a void that can't be filled.

I recall a line from a John Lennon song "Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans", and we are all experiencing that right now. So I make plans but am willing to go where life takes me...

I have made no plans! I live for today as much as possible. It takes all my strength to stay out of the past and the future will just have to be dealt with as it comes. Today is all I can handle! Hugs!!

Missinlil summed it up for me....I make plans, but none that can't be changed.......for the first time in my life I am trusting God......I have no clue........and many days don't even want a clue...................tired of sitting and spinning.........getting through a day is good at this point...........
L

I took early retirement when John became ill. It was hard at first and took some adjusting but now I am not sorry. I occasionally go in to work on a casual basis more just to see everybody than anything. I do not want to go back to work full time. I am enjoying not having to drag myself out of bed at 5:30am every morning so for me it is great. I find that I am still very busy and it is nice to be able to have the freedom to do what I want. I don't think that working and being alone or retiring and being alone is going to be very different at all. Alone is alone. I think that you have got some good advise. The future is the future. We can't live in the past and we can't live in the future. The only thing that is a sure thing is today. Hugs

Tru,

I retired 2 1/2 years after my husband's death. I contemplated the possibility of retirement for over a year. I then took the plunge and gave my notice. I had worked at the university for 27 years, so it was a difficult decision to leave. I researched Social Security and made three separate appointments in order to get all the facts straight and feel secure with my decision. As you mentioned, the prospect of making a terrible mistake and living with regret and an unending boredom loomed large.

I adjusted immediately to the freedom, and I soon found activities that were fulfilling. I love the liberty to do anything at a moment's notice that comes to mindno worries about work schedules. I consider my retirement a gift that I gave to myself. I retired at 62 1/2, so it was doable for my age bracket.

Retirement and being alone without our spouses is a very personal and important decision. Considering it carefully and looking into all aspects concerning finances is extremely important. Hope this helps in some small way. TJ

Like many of the others who have replied, I am in my 50s and still involved in my career. Fortunately I love my job. Arlene was able to quit working outside the home in early 2002 (indirectly because of 9/11 - ironic considering the anniversary) and we hoped we could both be retired by the time I was in my mid-60s. But Arlene and her Social Security benefits were a big part of those plans. For now, work is what keeps me going - both financially and emotionally - so I'm just living one day at a time. Linda had some good advice in her reply that we can all take - let's not take on more worry than we have to right now. We're all recovering. -Jeff

I have no desire to date let alone remarry. I'm self-employed and plan to keep working for at least another few years. I work out of my home and my work is primarily seasonal. I keep busy with it and with my church and friends. I do know, however, that God's plans are infinitely more perfect and timely than mine. So, I will continue to seek His desire because I know He knows what's best for me. Sheryl

I agree with most everyone here that we shouldn't spend any time or energy worrying about the future. Personally, I try not to because I simply can't stand the thought of living another day without my lovely wife, so the future to me is very much...TABOO I try to avoid it like the plague. Plus, it takes all my energy just to get through the day and get to bed half-sane. -Sam

Like was said before we have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I had heard that line before but never believed it applied to me. Like everyone here Don and I had big plans for retirement. He retired first and worked part time. I later went to part time work also. Don was only 50 when he retired from the State and was eligible for his retirement check immediately. We loved our life with working part time and the plan was to both be fully retired at 62.
Two years before that magical age of our turning 62 Don was diagnosed with lung cancer and died 10 weeks later. I quit my job to be with him and am so glad I did. Then I tried to return to work but was too overwhelmed. Since I was eligible for widows benefits I just stayed home.
As for the dating my thoughts were just like those who posted I wasn't interested in it at all. I had absolutely no desire to join the dating circle of today. However, last February I had lunch with someone I thought was the brother of a friend. Found out at lunch he doesn't have a sister who I knew and we've been seeing each other ever since.
I was the one on DS people told to be open to what the future brings. I said 'nope! Not me! Not interested!!'
Like I said and others too enjoy today and the future will work it's way out. If you would like the freedom of doing what you please when you please you'll like retirement. If you won't struggle financially you'll like retirement. If you like to read a book, go to lunch or on a cruise with friends and won't be bored or lonely, you'll like retirement. I do. Sharon