I am so sorry about your husband. I can say that I am experiencing the same shock. My husband died very suddenly after a mild heart attack, while he was in the hospital for a cardiac catheterization test. We had no idea that this would happen and I felt like I wanted to fall through the floor of the hospital I was so completely shocked when they called a code blue. It has been two and a half months and I am still kind of walking in a daze. I work and keep very busy, but not having him with me is like having an amputation of a part of me.

Hi snookum,
I am so sorry for your loss of your husband. I am glad you have joined us. I see you have been reading up on all the posts here!
I am sure they helped......however now you have taken the 'plunge' to join......you can get the support you need.
I lost Ben, my husband, just over 6 months ago. It has been a difficult journey so far, but with DS support I am coping on a daily basis.
Please know we will all be here for you to help support you,
Hugs for you,
Sandra

Snookum, Lisa & d,
My heart goes out to all three of you at this time. I know what your feeling and what you're going through, at this time. It's the worst feeling in the world, the worst. I don't think I've hurt or been so disjointed as I have been going through the loss of my sweet man.

Our partners in life, our mates are gone. There's no changing or going backwards. It's just the way it is. Life has come along and pulled the safety-net out from under us. We no longer have a safe place to fall. We have to be very, very careful not to stumble now.

We must take care of ourselves and listen to the messages on the wind. Be open to those who may have some sage advice for us, those who have been through these doors of hell before us.

We must learn what doors to permanently or temporarily close for our own safety and which doors to unlock and keep open for our sanity.

Please know YOU ARE NOT ALONE, we who been through this pain are walking with you and beside you. We're here to listen and cry with you. We won't judge or reprimand you, we are your friends in this grieving process, we, too are grieving with you.

Take care of you. I know these are easy words to say but they're not always easy words to hear.

Warmly,
Roz

P.S. I belong to a lot of different animal rights groups so, I bought a stuffed Gorilla [love them so.] Last night as I was tossing and turning [this is my new normal now] I saw the Gorilla sitting on a chair in my bedroom and walked over and grabbed him to hug. Crying, hugging, crying! Sound silly, it made me feel good, stopped me from crying and hugged him until I fell asleep again.

Thank you for the reply's and hugs I have received.

I so appreciate all the advice that is given in the posts, knowing I am not going mad is a start, knowing I may feel I have moved forward but be knocked back is also normal. So today I start again.

My friends and family tell me they are proud of me for coping, they don't realise I cope because my husband believed in me and helped me be the person I am today. He made me strong :) even though I don't always feel it anymore.

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's passing. Our stories are somewhat similar. My husband suffered a massive stroke and brain bleed on Oct. 20, 2014. It happened while he was at work. I got a call from his coworker that he was having an "episode" and paramedics were on the way. I met the paramedics at the ER. Husband was conscious and knew I was there, but lost consciousness 10 minutes later and never regained it. He passed away 7 days later. The doctors were hopeful at first, but that quickly diminished with each passing day. My husband was only 50 years old.

I have 2 teenage sons who are struggling as well. I so desperately miss my husband and can't believe I'll never see him or talk to him again this side of heaven. He had such a calm demeanor, which is why it is so hard to believe he had a stroke. He kept me grounded.

I'm fairly new here myself, but I'm finding myself logging on to this site every time I get on my computer.


Cathy
I'll keep you in my prayers.

I'm sorry to hear about your sudden loss. My wife died suddenly too last Thanksgiving day. I know about the shock and the sense of losing a part of myself. I've found DS to be a big help. I will pray for you to be comforted. Chris

So sorry for the loss of your husband.. Bob & I met when I was 14 ...we were together for 54 years .. In March 2014 ,when he went into the hospital I thought that after treatments he would come home ...He was doing so much better, he even said "I'll be home for Easter " sadly due to foot infection he stood up heel bone broke on April 16th. April17 at 530 in the morning I got that awful call that sometime between 3 -5 am he passed from " heart attack "
My thoughts and prayers are with you!!! Carol

My heart goes out to you. I had taken my husband to the ER thinking he had a stroke, the doctors were treating him for a stroke. They did a brain scan to see if any bleeding in the brain and the dr came back and said I'm so sorry, you didn't have a stroke, you have tumors growing in your brain. It was so advanced, there was nothing that could be done. He passed 24 days later. I feel blessed I was able to say good bye. Our 21 year old daughter was with me when he passed and I think that also helped her to be able to say good bye. I had a talk with a friend who lost her dad suddenly of a massive heart attack, she felt cheated not being able to say good bye to her dad. She feels her dad with her every day and that comforts her. I know my husband is watching over us and I speak to him everyday. My faith and knowing we will be together one day keeps me going.

So sorry for the loss of your precious husband. My husband passed from cancer and he had nine months of heavy duty treatment. Please know we are all here to support, share, cry, even laugh together. My husband also was always by my side, my rock in this world. My life changed drastically, and now trying to take it all day by day. Many hugs to you...

This is so like my story. We too met in high school and had been married for 30 years. I never got to say goodbye and it bothers me alot. I found him in a parking lot in a car after searching for him when he was not at home. He died 2 days later but was never conscious. It helps me to hears that I am not alone in how I am feeling.Prayers to all who are going through this.

Susie,
I never got to really say "goodbye" to Morey either. Although the strokes that he had were debilitating in that he couldn't walk and, even though sometimes he would just stare at me and not a say a word.......he was still "here", he was still present. I could look into his amazing blue eyes and stare at him, feeling his presence was good enough for me!

For the folks who have loved one's die in their arms or holding their hands, I know it's just as difficult.

We fall in love, we have children, we get a puppy all of these beings have the potential of leaving us one day or we leaving them and yet we risk that and engage in life and living it. Pretty remarkable when you think about.

Life is a risk: We risk having our hearts broken every time we entangle our lives with others. What are the alternatives to this.......I don't want to live that kind of life.....I suppose I have to take the risk of getting my heart broken and repaired over and over again.....Isn't loving someone or something so worth it!!!!!

Roz

As one on this journey for over 7 years now I wanted to share the sorrow for your loss. Like many, we met in high school and celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary just a few months before he died . He died 10 weeks after diagnosis of lung cancer at home with us with him as he wished. The loss is great whatever the way it happens. I have survived what I thought was an impossibility and I owe it to people here who believed what I couldn't imagine.

I'm here now with my good friends Martha ( cliffskat ) and Marsha ( marjoe ) as Community leaders and we are committed to being here for you. Sharon

Sorry for your loss. I too lost my husband this past fall. I found him in the floor when I got home from work. Paramedics said he had died somewhere around 10 that morning. He had copd but really wasn't bad enough for him to have died. His doctors were surprised when I called to inform them. They all felt that he was making good progress. He had some internal bleeding that was never diagnosed despite our numerous dr visits. My first reaction was how could this have happened. We had put our trust into these people and they let us down.
Just like you, I was 16 when I met Ray and was married by 17.
We had 38 years together. Now I am lost. We really didn't go out much. He worked the evening shift and I worked days. We spent the weekends together. Now I,m struggling to make friends and start a new life alone. Right now all I can say is it's not an easy journey.
Don't be shy about posting. You will always find support from this site.
Terri

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband on May 29 from an Aortic Aneurysm. He was in the hospital 10 days before he died.
You have definitely come to right place for support, hugs and having people here that truly understand what you are going through. Don't be shy. I don't know what I would've done had I not found this site.
It has helped just knowing I'm not alone in this, and that I'm not crazy!

Many hugs to you..
R