Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
One yr ago I was working 1 full time and 3 PT jobs and still had lots of debt. My husband was knocking himself out trying to sell mens clothing but for the last 7 yrs was making about half of what he used to. At xmas 2009 he developed cellulites in his leg he already had congestive heart failure & hepatitis C. Still, he worked hard every day. The end of May I lost 2 PT jobs & on 6/10 my husband & I both lost our jobs on the same day. We were in big trouble & my husband still had the cellulitis. He dealt with the problems by buying a bottle of vodka on the way home after being fired not good if you have hepatitis. He later had a seizure. Within the next few weeks everything got worse. My husband was told he would not get unemployment (it was a mistake), the central air broke, the electricity broke, a car fell on my son, etc. and the job prospects looked bleak. My husbands health was worse and I was afraid of losing the house (and him).
I was in the car one day crying hysterically and stopped at a Dollar Store. I got out, slammed the door and said, Where on earth is my Guardian Angel? Why arent you helping me? I went in the store for 10 min and came out. On the ground by the door of my car was a silver and gold cross shining in the sun. It was cheap but made up of about 40 different beads. I dont see how it could have been there when I went in it was VERY noticeable.
I took this as a sign that things would be ok I just had to be patient. For months I carried the cross with me every day in my pocket. I eventually got a job and I thought this meant my life would finally turn around. Things had been sooo rough. Then my husband fell, broke ribs, developed pneumonia and was in ICU 8 days before he died. I held this cross in my hand all the time. No one else knew about it. Now I think is this the answer? that my husband would die? My husbands health was going downhill his legs were in lots of pain & he couldnt do things he used to. I wonder if someday I go to heaven and Im told this is what was best. Your husband could not get physically better and he was better off in heaven rather than continuing to suffer. Or, was this to give me comfort because things were bad? Was this to help me through the rough times ahead? It wasnt the answer I was expecting. Has anyone else heard of something like this?
I was in the car one day crying hysterically and stopped at a Dollar Store. I got out, slammed the door and said, Where on earth is my Guardian Angel? Why arent you helping me? I went in the store for 10 min and came out. On the ground by the door of my car was a silver and gold cross shining in the sun. It was cheap but made up of about 40 different beads. I dont see how it could have been there when I went in it was VERY noticeable.
I took this as a sign that things would be ok I just had to be patient. For months I carried the cross with me every day in my pocket. I eventually got a job and I thought this meant my life would finally turn around. Things had been sooo rough. Then my husband fell, broke ribs, developed pneumonia and was in ICU 8 days before he died. I held this cross in my hand all the time. No one else knew about it. Now I think is this the answer? that my husband would die? My husbands health was going downhill his legs were in lots of pain & he couldnt do things he used to. I wonder if someday I go to heaven and Im told this is what was best. Your husband could not get physically better and he was better off in heaven rather than continuing to suffer. Or, was this to give me comfort because things were bad? Was this to help me through the rough times ahead? It wasnt the answer I was expecting. Has anyone else heard of something like this?
It is a glimmer of hope in the darkness and is the lovely part of what would otherwise have been a sad story - thankyou for sharing!
What a beautiful story. I do think the cross was given to you to remind and comfort you as you went through what was coming ahead of you, not to tell you that everything was going to be all right.
"Footprints In The Sand"
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson
In 1986, the year I met my dear husband I did a crossstitch of this poem for him. I had it framed without glass, and it hung on the wall for 22 years. Over the years it had gotten dirty and dusty and after Mike passed away I was going to throw it away. But instead I took it out of the frame and soaked it until it was sparkly clean. I had it reframed and protected and it is now hanging on my bedroom wall as a daily reminder of why we go though our trials. I hope as you read this it will touch your hearts, as it has mine.