I have felt the same way an most of us here have also. I am at 3 yrs and went thorough all the same things. I still wake up during the night sometimes and can't get back to sleep.
I don't cry everyday anymore but I still cry very often.
I don't have problems with seeing his things anymore but do on occasion.

All I can say is its a long hard road, different for each of us and no fun for any of us. It will get easier as time passes, but never the same. I have nothing to look forward to now, no plans, just living day to day. I was married 40 yrs and I too am lost without him. But now it seems as if it never was. It feels like 100 yrs ago and a dream.

Hugs,
JoAnn

Yes its a long hard road with no real end. It does get better but still hard. I closed my wifes closet and didnt open it for a year. I knew I wasnt going to be ready for a long time. Just now at 19 months I gave away the last of it. Take your time and do it in your way.
Hugs
Russ

Only 47 days for me and it already seems like years alone. I seem to be crying worse than earlier on and am so very tired. I sleep in little bits of time and then wake up. No dreams, but I so wish I could dream of him. I try, but no luck. I haven't even thought of going through his things. Would feel like I was erasing him and I could never do that. Anticipating that I am going to have some confrontation with distant family members in the near future who think we had a lot of money and they want some. They are so wrong. We lived day to day with nothing extra ever. This is such a hard road we are all on and people just seem to try their best to make it worse. 100 days is an eternity. I don't know how you have made it but bless you for getting so far. Many hugs to ease your day.

I think you waking at 3am is a sign that he is there. 100 days is really not that long considering how long you were together. When you are ready you will go through the clothes and you will dispose of his medication. I found going into the closet very comforting, his smell was there. I could look at the clothes and remember when he wore them and what we were doing. It's like a trip down memory lane, and it is also painful because you know there will be no new memories with those clothes. Tears are good, it lets the grieving out. Be good and patient with yourself. Hugs Jane

128 days for me and I have my daily round of crying, I keep saying send me a sign then I know you are with me. Today when my screensaver appeared (random) it was a huge white rose. See he was from Yorkshire and me from Lancashire so the white rose for him and the red rose for me. I know its probably coincidental but I like to think hes letting me know hes watching over me. Life is just a drag now, Saturday he would have a bet on the races and I would bake bread and just chill out now its just nothingness. even when I am doing things it still seems nothing.Thanks guys for listening.Val in Australia.

I had a dream not too long after Mike passed away. I was standing in a corridor and Mike came through the doors and rushed past me. In passing he said lets just leave it at that. I wanted to respond but he was already gone. I was freaked out for a couple of days. In retrospect (8 months October 11), I think he was telling me to get on with my life which I think I have started doing. Also, in retrospect it is very comforting. ((Hugs))

I understand your pain as do all your friends here and I know the strength will come to live in the world with his spirit folded around you. Sharon