Well for me, I have been through 2 anniversaries of my husband's passing...they both hit me hard. The first year, I needed to be alone and unexpectedly wallowed in my grief. It helped me. I celebrate my husband Birthdays...with my family and friends.
If your first instinct is to have a mass or prayers, that may be fitting. I know of people, who planted trees, or rose bushes in dedication, that's a lovely idea!
Whatever is most meaningful to you, that's what's important.
Thanks for coming back and sharing.....hugs...Sandra

i have many more months to go before i hit the day i rather forget. I am going total opposite im leaving town more specific im going on a cruise without phone or internet access. I have found my husbands family and friends to be overbearing and mine dont get it they just all want the old me back. Truthfully when around them i end up reassuring them making sure they are OK when in reality it should be the other way around- because im not OK. So im leaving town with a really good friend and hitting up the mexican coast so i can fully grieve.

On July 18th it was the first anniversary of my husband's passing. Since we didn't have a service when he died...I had a celebration of life with family and friends at our home. We had a BBQ and released white balloons in his honor (the color white is for lung cancer.) I had a rough time for two days before the date and a day or so after but this was something I really wanted to do for him. I think it helped me to honor him on his anniversary since there wasn't a service. I think whatever you decide to do or not do is appropriate. It's your decision and yours alone. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

I just passed the third anniversary on August 9. But the first anniversary in the morning I went to church and lit a candle for him and then spent the afternoon at my daughter's house with grandchildren. We bought about 20 different color helium balloons, wrote our own personal messages to him, attached them to the balloon's ribbons, said our own personal prayers and released them. Watched until they were out of sight. It was a positive experience for us.

Not wanting to sit at home and feel sorry for herself on the approaching 1 year anniversary of her dad passing, my 20 year old daughter organized a spaghetti dinner fundraiser and I supported her and help out. On the day of the anniversary(and the weeks leading to it), we were both busy and it was good for us. She raised $3200 that she donated to Cancer research . The month before on Christmas day, we both opted to go work at a woman's shelter and help prepare the Christmas meal for them. Again, this activity help us through our painful time.

Thank you for the quick response all. Laurie great idea about the cruise! Maybe next year because I am in the same place with his family and mine. Love the ideas of the balloons but still debating if i want to celebrate it with his family who took it harder than me or on my own.

Hi Jessica,
I took a page out of Laurie1209's book and skipped town at the one year mark - packed up the kids and headed to Chicago. I won't ever forget my husband but one year ago was so damn hard and depressing that I just cannot go back to that place in my head or my heart. I had a friend send me a sympathy card on the 1 year anniversary and I just "lost it" - complete nosedive into depression which truthfully took me the entire month to pray and claw my way out of. Everyone's different - I have my memories of our 23 years together right in my heart forever and always. I just can't commemorate this traumatic time in my life - it takes too much out of me as I'm trying to get my life together with our kids.

Hey Jessica,

Last year was my first anniversary and I deliberated long and hard on what to do. I did a lot of reading and research and found very little helpful hints. In my case, I settled on going out with friends for chicken wings. My husband had never had chicken wings before we were together, and one night I asked him if we could go out for some. After that, that's all we ever went out for, he loved them so much. At the first year anniversary it seemed right to focus solely on him. This year, I'm going to Fargo to do some shopping and focus on creating more positive memories for myself. I guess it depends on your head space. There's no right way or wrong way to do it. Go with your gut instinct would be my advice.