Dear Kate,
Sometimes words are inadequate to tell you how very sorry I am .
You are going through unbearable pain right now. My heart is with you.
All I can say is it will be ok. You have come here for support and it is a good thing.
I care,
Peace, love hope,
Sandra

Kate,

Please rest assured that we all feel for you in your time of need. I also have had quite a year of death. My beloved, a really great friend and a sister in law. I'm with you in that 2014 sucks and I can't wait to be rid of it! We all have lots of support here from kind people who have walked in the shoes. It's hard to see the forest cuz the trees are in the way. Everyone advoids you because they are damm glad they are not living this and having to feel your pain! A big sky hug to you in your time of need!

Dewey

Kate, I am so very sorry for your loss. Those first months are so surreal and I hate that you have to go through all that you do. It is so incredibly painful but it doesn't seem as though anyone has found a route around the pain. We just have to go through it and, if we allow the pain to work in us, we will be better people for it. But that is impossible to envision at the point you are right now. All you can do is hold on and ride the waves of pain and grief.

It is a very lonely path. Everyone is afraid of us unfortunately. We are what they fear most in life. I came to see during my isolation the many ways that I did not reach out to others who had gone through this nearly as much as I should have either. I hope to do better from now on.

Please try to have a little peace in knowing that many, many of us have walked the path of widowhood and have survived. Wounded and scarred but moving forward with life.

Hurts deeply no matter who you are! I've had to learn to express my emotions and get them out. MAN supposed to be tough! BS! I never anticipated I would be this lost and hurting! And hurts it does! My neighbor and I took a little road trip this morning. Topic of discussion was his mother died when he was 11 and he really has never grieved her. Had to be a strong little man. I shared with me I am the only person he has talked about his mother with. He is now 48. Kate, we are sending good thoughts for you in your grieving! Those that pray I'm sure are including you in your prayers. As my late Sally used to say. "Time wounds all heels" People do not deal with death until forced to do so! I would not wish this journey anyone!

Dewey

Deweys proof reading sucks. But I guess you all get the drift anyways!

Thanks for reading my posts as spilling my heart out is helping me move in the healing process! It's slow and I have to drag it out but we all have to cope and process forward! Hard as it is somedays! They say the pain lessens as time passes! Well I'm hoping sooner rather than later!

Big sky hugs to each and every one of you! Thanks for being here!

Dewey

Thank you for the support, it trully means so much!!

Yesterday was 1 of my worse days. Today is 1 month. One second at a time right now not even at one day at a time yet.........

Kate,

We want to help you as we as much as we can!

My typing sucks but I think harley's would be much worse.

He cannot open cat food cans!

Kate we are here for you and please allow us to help you through this horrible journey that you have entered at such a young age. You do not deserve it but you have it and we want to help you with it. I'm 64 at it sucks at this age! I can only imagine where you are!
This only happens to older folks! Sorry to let you know sadness has no age boundries. If you need to ask questions or want to talk send me a messare! My children are older than you but I am a good listener. I know you are feeling lost and confused about why you are here at such a young age.I cannot provide that answer but I can give you an older shoulder to lean on that has been through a lot of life. Good and bad! I'm sorry you are here but you are! If I can help you please reach out to me!
It sucks but we are here!

If you want a friend I'm here!

Dewey

So sorry for your loss Kate...I truly feel for you. I lost my husband on June 24th very suddenly and very unexpectedly. I won't say it gets easier because I've just spent an hour crying like it happened yesterday when it's been 4 months...but I will say you start to have moments of peace in between the intense feelings of grief. There will be days when instead of crying every second, you cry once or twice a day. It's going to be a long, hard emotional roller coaster ride...let yourself feel the emotions and work through them. Cry when you need to, it will help with healing and know that you have friends here. I don't wish this journey on anyone but only we who are on it can truly understand the agony you are feeling. Sending you hugs and good thoughts for peace and healing.
Best,
CJ

I am so sorry for your loss - it was just 5 months for me last Thursday. I know how you feel about the "curse". This year has been one of the worst of my life! I have experienced more death and health issues this year than I have in my entire life! In 5 days at work, 4 of my colleagues lost their spouses! It's become all too much! At one month you are still raw. Can I tell you it gets better - no. But you will learn to live with it. You will have good days and bad - you just have to know that this is one heck of a roller coaster ride and you best hang on tight. You have come to the right place - we are all in the same boat and I have found much comfort here. My prayers are with you at this horrible time. Please know you are not alone here! Hugs

Dear Kate:

I am so sorry. We are all here to support you. Please be kind to yourself and vent as much as you want. The first year is so surreal and hard to bear. It does get better but where you are now is incredibly painful and hard to take. I compared it to being in the middle of a tornado; things just whirling around you outside of your control and you are trapped. My first year, I lost my husband, my father, started on the journey with my mother who has dementia, and dealt with my husband's ailing grandparents medical emergencies. At some point, you just stop trying to be in control and let the situations roll over you. I am in a better place now; but at the time...wow it was hard.

Just hang on and know that we are here with you on your journey.

Sending hugs and positive energy your way.

Valerie

Kate,
I can certainly sympathize with your progress, as I was one month on November 2nd. I was all alone with my grief and it was probably the second worst day of my life, the first being October 2nd. I can't really offer you any advice, only support and love, as I am no further along than you. As for losing other loved ones, I lost a daughter-in-law suddenly a year ago today and son-in-law in almost the same fashion in June of this year. I can truthfully say that it isn't safe to be an in-law in our family. Although I loved the other two dearly, the grief of losing the love of my life, my best friend, my rock, etc., does not remotely compare. I wish I had a magic wand that I could wave over myself (and others) and relieve the pain, broken heart, loneliness, guilt, etc. Unfortunately, we all have to make that journey on our own and it is truly a terrible journey!!

Thought I would add my sympathy for your losses and the pain it brings. I am a little farther along than many of you as my husband died in 2007 from lung cancer. To the outside world I have moved to another chapter of my life, but those here know that we bring all the chapters with us.

I am with a man I deeply love, yet my Don is always in my heart even though he's not physically here. I guess I'm living the "two hearts debate. " as do others here.

The clich of a day at a time is true. Be in the moment and do what is best for you every day. We survive and we gain strength and (with us or without us) life goes on.

Kate,

I am so sorry for your loss. I had lost my husband a month and a half ago so I am feeling your pain and suffering and know how you feel. Please feel free to chat if you want.