Dear rvckc2,
The healing your praying for will come but in God's time and in his way. Trust that God knows what is best. Go to the meetings. You may feel reluctant. I know I was, but in the end you will realize you have learned some valuable things. Plus it's always good to connect with others. That is why this site is good, a way of comfortably connecting with others who get it, who really understand what you are experiencing.
You are very early in your grief. Grief is not something you get over. You learn how to live your life around it. I promise one day you will feel better. Not perfect but good enough to carry thru with your life. Take one day at a time. Focus on taking care of you. Take care of your health, eat a good meal at least once a day and drink plenty of water. Take time to journal your thoughts, share here if you wish. But go to those meetings, don't isolate yourself.
God bless you and may he bring comfort you.

I agree with everything expressed by onebrokenheart. Grief has a different timetable for everyone. At 2 months I was still very much wrestling with complete despair. I was broken on every level and couldnt really imagine how I would move forward. 3 years later I am at a place of peace. Looking back now I see how God cradled and carried me through the utter despair when I didnt have the strength to do it myself. Reaching out to others definitely helped. You will definitely be in my prayers. We all understand the struggle and want to walk with you. Cry and give yourself permission to grieve. You are dealing with the biggest life changing event of your life. I have walked through those dark tunnels. There is a light at the end but it takes a tremendous amount of grief work and yes pain before it is found. With God all things are possible and I promise he is walking and yes carrying you. God bless. Gerry

After a little over one year it is all so different now. The one thing I have learned thru this is that what happened is way to big to handle yourself. None of us can. Not even groups can get us where we need to be. You need the support for certain but for the true healing you will need God for that. He is the only one who is bigger than what has happened. He is the only one in complete control of it all. At two months I was exactly where you are now. Could not see tomorrow. At times didn't care if I did. But I kept moving forward and staying in faith that God has this. And no matter what happens, nothing is too big for Him to handle, so I want have to. Keep in your faith. Don't even think about the next day right now. Just take it a minute at a time.
I don't know how your wife went home, but my wife went a few hours after I left for work one morning. I came back home five hours later and she had gone to paradise. No chance to say good bye or even an indication anything was wrong. So I immediately ran to God. And have stayed in His presence ever since and will never leave Him. The Bible tells us that nothing happens in our lives that isn't common to those around us. And that He will never allow us to have more on us than we can handle. He will never leave us or forsake us and will show us the way thru if we have faith in Him. It is hard for sure, but you can do it. Just don't push yourself or let anyone else push you. You have to find you own way thru with Him. Be patient and kind to yourself. Allow yourself to hurt and grieve when you need to. Pray often. And it is true that you don't get over this you just learn how to in cooperate it into your life without letting it stop you from rebuilding. And some day you will be ready for that. After a year I can tell you it will get better. The pain will be there but dull and not as devastating. Just give yourself time.
Please take care.
Peace, Tim

You and yours are in my prayers. One day at a time. God healed my broken heart, however the scars are still there. I keep moving forward for His sake.
You will too dear brother.
Regards......Sandra

I have heard this song on the Christian channel and it seems to have more meaning for me all the time:

NEVER TOO BROKEN TO BELONG
by The Gold City Quartet

The door is open
Come on in as you are
All you need to bring is what
remains of your heart
I see the years of fear
and pain on your face , but
Take a step
Enter in
You are safe in this place

You're never too broken, to belong
Never too wounded
Never too far gone
Here you'll find Jesus
And find your home
You're never too broken, to belong

Come find the perfect love
That no one deserves
A peace so sweet it can't
Be put into words
And grace that's greater
Than the darkest of sin
Taste and see
Take His hand
Let the healing begin

You're never too broken to belong
Never too wounded,
Never too far gone, and
Here you find Jesus
And find your home
You're never too broken to belong

TAG
We too were wounded and defeated
So we know how you feel
But by the wounds of our Redeemer
We believe
We were healed

You're never too broken to belong, and
Never too wounded,
Never, too far gone and
Here you find Jesus
And find your home
You're never too broken, to belong
You're never too broken, to belong.



I had a melt down on the weekend but was comforted by this song. ((Hugs))

at 2 months, I was just hitting the wall of beginning to realize what hit me.
reality takes time to set in.
being "better adjusted"? brother, you are putting a big expectation on yourself, and God does not do that to us.
He does heal the brokenhearted. but even as He says that, He is seeing us in His eternal view.
He also sees us covered in the righteousness of Christ. Without sin. Do we still sin? yes.
but that is only while we are trapped in Time and mortal bodies.
I am so glad His eyes see differently than ours.
Nevertheless:
1 John 3:2: 2. Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it does not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when He shall appear, we shall be like Him; for we shall see Him as He is.