WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS OF FAITH Community Group
A place where people of faith may freely discuss issues of grief from a faith based perspective.
One of the biggest challenges I believe for those travelling this journey of grief is the loneliness. We defined ourselves as a couple sharing our life with someone else and overnight we are 'single". I hated that term and widower in the early stages of my grief. My heart was not single in anyway. Then all the firsts poured in. The first time going home and no one was there. The first time you wanted to share your day and no one was there. The first time you are sick and no one is there. The first time going in a restaurant by yourself. The chores that were once shared in the house and now are yours. The list is endless. The sadness in reaching over in the bed and you are alone. This challenge was one I wrestled with like most people here and was reminded of it as I was walking through the park and saw a couple reach for each others hand. Such a simple but intimate gesture. At one time in the grief journey I was jealous of couples like that but now thank God I had 23 years of that kind of unconditional love.
This is a topic anyone here could write about and I hope some share their journey with loneliness both the challenges and triumphs. For me the loneliness initially brought intense emotional pain. I will call out to God to help me but it was truly a brutal journey. Ever so slowly I realized God was always with me and the peace that can provide. Part of the loneliness journey was rediscovering who I was as a person. Seeing the value in myself and starting to feel whole again. For me I am a very social person so reaching out socially even when uncomfortable was necessary and has resulted in good friendships being built. I also nourished exisiting family relationshis that were not that great. I told a grief counselor a long time ago I dont want another relationship until I feel whole and healed. It is nobodys job to heal or fix me.
At one time I didnt really understand the concept of aloneness. But now I see it as leading a solitary life in peace which is very different than loneliness where there is a sense of turmoil. Most of the time I can live with aloneness but yes loneliness creeps in from time to time. One thing I have learned is this part of the journey is there are alot of people in the world craving the connection of a community. Someone has to take the first step and reach out there hand. A stranger is a friend you havent met yet. God bless
Deuteronomy 31:8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
12. Psalm 34:17-19 The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.
He doesn't always deliver us out of the situations that we are in but He always makes a way for us to be able to bear it when we seek Him, He speaks to us through His Word.
Isaiah chapter 43:2 says ‘When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.