WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS OF FAITH Community Group

A place where people of faith may freely discuss issues of grief from a faith based perspective.

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rvckc2 09/04/2016

I am having such a hard time getting ahold of the fact that my wife is not going to walk through the door, or that I am not going to wake up to realize this has all been a nightmare. I ache to be able to talk with her, and be near her. Every morning we would travel to our office together, we would have lunch together, and every afternoon she would insist on telling me about her day. There were times when I would beg her to stop. She would inform me of every detail. I would set rules about how long she could talk about her office. Just until we get to the highway I would tell her...it never worked. I miss that so much. I would always slip my hand under her thigh just to be touching her. We always held hands without having to think about it. I miss her touch tremendously. I need her to be here. There are so many things that she just knew and did. I find myself starting to ask here questions, and then realizing she is not here to ask.

I am sick over being told so many times that I will have to find a "New Normal." I don't want a new normal! I don't want a different life! I know that death does not come from God, and I continue to seek Him for peace, but I am just being honest when I say that I don't understand why this happened. One day we were living or normal lives, and the next she was gone. How does someone die of cancer without any symptoms. I believe in God's power to heal, and I believe in praying for healing. I don't understand why we did not even have the opportunity to pray for His healing power. I do not understand!

I don't understand why the world doesn't stop to have such an amazing person absent. Everyone's life moves on...except mine. My life has stopped. My wife is gone, and she is never coming back. How am I supposed to face such a reality? This was never part of the plan. How long do I live in this holding pattern. My mind knows she is not going to walk through the door, but my heart won't allow me to stop looking. I miss her so much I can barely breathe.

I need your healing now Lord. I need to feel your peace. My heart is broken, and I see no possibility of it ever being mended, but I trust in you Lord. Heal my heart and show me how to live again. I am powerless. I am very tired. I need you Lord, I need you. I pray for strength to carry on.

cgriff4ever 09/04/2016

Its in these times we are forced to draw strength from god, as is in death, many run from us, because now we are not the same "norm" they are able to understand. Sometimes there just is no understanding as to "Why". My husband was crushed to death, within an hour of my seeing him. I have such guilt, not having been able to be outside to save him, not knowing he was going to try to work on a truck in the mud. No one knows why things happen, but sometimes "It is what it is" a mystery, and although we don't like, understand or know why things happen, they just are, and do, rather we participate in this thing called "Life" or not,life still carries on, even without our efforts. Just know that god is there with you. Your sweet wife, although not there physically, is there spiritually. You just have to listen to those subtle clues. I talk to my sean all the time, and it has helped me heal. You can talk to and about your wife all you want, and you should. I'm sorry your sweet wife passed of cancer, but I am glad that she didnt have as much suffering as Ive heard others have.....It seems like we are all alone at times, but we are not. You have all of us. Peace, Love and hugs your way. Carla

gerald222 09/04/2016

Your pain and despair is so familiar to me. Yes I wrestled with many of the same questions and emotions as you . I wish I could give you a road map to take away the pain but I cant. Grief is a process that must be work through. The most difficult journey I ever traveled, Countless times I wanted to turn the clock back and end the nightmare. First I want to send a hug your way. Second I will assure you God will carry you during the darkess and most painful periods. I know this because looking back now I can see where he carried me. As for understanding the why's I honestly dont believe we are meant to understand the whys. I do know one day after many tears and much despair I reached a point where I surrendered myself to Jesus and just trusted in him. I am so glad you posted here. You need to let those feeling within you be expressed. Have I found a 'new normal" I am not sure. But I do know my relationship with God is deeper and more intimate now because of the journey I was forced to face. Wishing you peaceful days ahead dear friend. Please post as often as you need to. We are here.

Shrn 09/05/2016

Oh your heart is broken and your life has been forever changed. I couldn't understand the whys either. We had saved for our retirement plan and when we reached the point of living our plans my husband died. Why? The question has no answer. It's 9 years and I can look back and see my life has gone on another path, not of my choice. I still miss my first and only love, but I live in faith that the Lord knows better than I. Sharon

JesusisOurSaviour 09/09/2016

I'm praying for you and trusting The Lord will give you peace. He will respond to your broken heart.....Sandra

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