WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS OF FAITH Community Group
A place where people of faith may freely discuss issues of grief from a faith based perspective.
I don't know what happened but I lost track of time. I thought I was a week away from the five month mark
of losing my wife, Debbie. I suddenly realized this afternoon that I was going by dates and not the actual
weeks. I looked at a calendar and it dawned on me the 5 month mark is actually tomorrow. That puts me
even further away from her than I realized. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone. I know she is not
coming back. The passage of time is placing me further and further away from her day by day and week by week and is beginning to make the 30+ years together seem more and more like a dream and the present seems more and more like a long nightmare.
I thought I was having an anxiety attack but, clearly, it is much deeper than anxiety. I am praying for even
a moment of relief as the clock ticks toward tomorrow. I user to love Fridays as it meant I got to spend the
whole weekend with her. Now, I spend each week dreading the arrival of every late Friday afternoon as I am automatically hit with remembering that moment in time when my world completely flipped upside down. I moved from total light to total darkness as I continue to seek that one ray of light. I pray non-stop for the Lord Jesus Christ to grant me that ray of light for even a moment.
Thank you
Darrell
of losing my wife, Debbie. I suddenly realized this afternoon that I was going by dates and not the actual
weeks. I looked at a calendar and it dawned on me the 5 month mark is actually tomorrow. That puts me
even further away from her than I realized. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone. I know she is not
coming back. The passage of time is placing me further and further away from her day by day and week by week and is beginning to make the 30+ years together seem more and more like a dream and the present seems more and more like a long nightmare.
I thought I was having an anxiety attack but, clearly, it is much deeper than anxiety. I am praying for even
a moment of relief as the clock ticks toward tomorrow. I user to love Fridays as it meant I got to spend the
whole weekend with her. Now, I spend each week dreading the arrival of every late Friday afternoon as I am automatically hit with remembering that moment in time when my world completely flipped upside down. I moved from total light to total darkness as I continue to seek that one ray of light. I pray non-stop for the Lord Jesus Christ to grant me that ray of light for even a moment.
Thank you
Darrell
You are two weeks ahead of me as I lost my wife on August 28.
I did attend GriefShare but they were the final five weeks and ended before the holidays I am going
to attend another one that begins on February 9. I think they help.DSWW ( particularly those of
FAITH ) are helping me day by day.
However, the main thing that is getting me through this nightmare minute by minute and hour by hour
and day by day is my faith in God. I have turned all of it over to HIM and have asked HIM to guide me
from the darkness to the light. I have never been this far down in my life and I know the only way I am
going to survive this is through HIM.
Thanks so much.
Darrell
the day is part of the journey and let yourself remember hpw much you are loved. I will pray for you . I found that the 19th of each month is used to thank Perccy for his 41 years of love , laughter and support. the stars are windows from the heaven and she is watching and loving you.
It is good to have a particular day as you have noted and it is very special to
take that time to thank Perccy for his 41 years of love.
I am thankful to God each day that HE placed Debbie in my life 31 years ago
as I had the privilege of receiving unconditional love as well as loving a woman
far beyond what I had thought possible earlier in my life. I am truly hopeful she
is watching and loving me.
Many thanks again.
Darrell
.
It is so heartbreaking to have had only a little over a year and a half
with our soul mate after finally finding him.
I was thinking just this morning that 31 years is a long time with our the
human calendar but is only the blink of an eye on God's calendar. I think
about the 31 years I had with her and now it almost seems like it was a
long and very beautiful dream. Now, I awake each morning to a living
nightmare as it once again hits me that she is not here.
Obviously, I don't know what God's plans are for me for the balance of
my time on this planet. I have turned myself over to Him and have asked
Him to guide me in everything I do. Long term, my thoughts are to do
everything possible to be able to meet Him and then see her again and,
hopefully, spend eternity loving each other and loving Him. That would
be perfect ending to my " love story ".
Meanwhile, I shall look for that ray of sunshine as I battle through the
coming days and nights.
Thanks again - Darrell