Dear friend Darrell,
I am praying for you to be able to get through the day tomorrow.
I know the months just fly by, we Lose track of time, even though times seems to drag on!
I found, by flowing through those grief waves, and NOT trying to fight them....more healing took place.....
Especially during those initial first months.
Darrell, you are still in the worst part of your journey....it's such a devastating time....believe me.....hang in there, we are praying with you. We feel your pain....we know what you are feeling.
May God Bless, during this journey.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, hang in there, God is with you, and we are all here for you.
Hug from Sandra

I pray you see a little light, Darrell. The darkness can be overwhelming and missing her on the weekends is hard. I've just started talking to my husband when I miss him so, along with praying to God to fill in those empty spaces in my heart. It might help you a little bit, too

Darrell, I am with you on the friday evening thing. Every friday night, my sean would get home about 7pm, and sometimes earlier, Then I would have him for our family time until he went to work monday early about 6am. Friday nights arent as awful as once was, but I still think about it, on Friday night. I did the same thing, I was miscalculating dates, months, until my friend told me, its the month to month, dont count the days. Your not alone. It doesnt matter the time, plain and simple, they are gone, and never more to return to their homes here with us. Unbearable I know, but with time, it wont get better, you'll just learn to accept what you can not change, wishful thinking... much love and big hugs, carla

My worst day of the week Friday night about 7pm... still a little hard, but has gotten a bit better to accept or swallow, so to speak. hugs carla

I changed "Saturday" to "sadder day". The weekend were horrible. I don't know when I got used to it but it does happen. It just becomes 2 more days of the week. Prayers for you Darrell. God will get you through this.
Rachel

Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way Darrell. Remember God is with you every step you take.
Hugs. Katrina

Dear Darrell my friend. When I read your post I can feel your pain. Although I can not take away the pain of the grief process from you I can share a secret with you. Even though it feels like as each day passes we are moving further apart from our spouse that can never happen. The reason is we will carry them in our hearts till the day we die and we are who we are because of our shared life with them. Basically we are a large part of their legacy. They will always live through us regardless where the rest of our journey takes us. The Fridays being a trigger is totally understandable. I will tell you something my friend. You are in the rawest, toughest stage of the grief journey right now. I promise you as you do the grief work required the pain and triggers will become much less intense. Truthfully part of us will always miss them but the grip that the grief has on you now will lessen especially if you can surrender your pain and sadness to God. I also strongly encourage you to seek grief support groups in your area if there are any and feel free to post here as often as you need. Darrell we are all here to walk this journey with you. God bless Gerry

Darrell, I'm so sorry. You have My deepest sympathy. I too suggest you seek out help from available support groups. You will find friends there who are in different stages of healing . They can help. Many of the groups go to lunch or dinner after the meeting. It's a start. I'll keep you in my prayers. May Peace and the Love of God be with you. Hugs, Dolores

Hi Darrell:
I found that five-six month mark was the Worst for me... the numbness had worn off, the friends all thought 'Oh, she'll be ok..." and drifted away now that the 'crisis' was over. I was left with the raw pain and the emptiness.
But Gerry was right - you are never far from her. She will always be in your heart. Even as you move forward and you find a new 'normal' and a new balance in your life, she will always be with you. I keep reminding my kids of that too.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
xo Jacqueline

I light a candle every evening when I pray, and I include all of you in those prayers - You are dear to me, all of you, so just know that somewhere in Africa, a candle glows for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I am deeply thankful for all of the support I have received from all of you. Every one of you
that posted area treasured for taking a moment to respond to my post.

Morita sent a message to me late yesterday that helped me through the night and into today. She
told me not to look at the 5 month mark as 5 months from when Debbie left. She told me to look
at it from the point it is 5 months closer to when I shall have the joy of meeting the Lord Jesus
Christ and as well as seeing my wife again. Somehow, that made sense to me.

Most people I know ( family, friends, neighbors and business associates ) are under the false
impression I have progressed a great deal with my " grief process " and their reactions to any
mention of my loss produces that " glazed eyes " look at this point. I am not angry about it as
I know it is impossible for them to understand. I do know I shall make every effort to be much
more understanding and comforting in the future when someone I know loses a spouse. I shall
know their pain.

I am going to try to address the " Friday " trigger and thank all for your suggestions. I have to
find a way to deal with it as It is going to be a weekly situation. I am going to try to stop
counting the weeks . months as it just causes intense pain.

I am thankful for the suggestion of Sandra to allow the pain to enter and not to fight it. I have
also made a decision to follow the suggestion from Gerry to surrender my pain and sadness to
God.. I know HE exists as I was exposed to miracles HE performed for my wife in the past at
points when all hope was lost. She would have passed in 1988, 2004 or 2014, if HE had not
stepped in and did what I thought was the impossible. I have zero doubt that HE exists.

I do talk to my wife often. It is usually at the same places I would call her when leaving work
or arriving work or when I would call her when approaching our home. But I also talk to her
before I go to sleep and many other times of the day and night. Then, I talk to and pray to
the Lord Jesus Christ. I tell HIM that I know I am repeating myself with everything I have to
say but I have to say all of it anyway. I have absolutely no doubt HE is listening to me.

I have pursued " grief groups " in my area and attended the last half of a GroupShare
schedule soon after she passed. It was odd that it ended just before the holidays and I
discovered all GriefShare groups in the greater Houston area ended just before the
holidays. They are scheduled to begin again in February but I don't know about attending
as the last one was a mixture of people that had lost children or siblings or parents with
only one that lost a spouse. I may give it a try again. I don't know. The balance of the
" grief groups " in greater Houston seem more focused on widows and widowers dating
with full schedule of social events ( dinners, bowling, sports events, etc. ) and that is
not what I am seeking. I shall sort it out one way or another but, for the present, I am
going to depend on the Lord Jesus Christ and all of you.

Thanks again to all -

Darrell

I will be praying for you Darell,
Jesus is near.

aww barbara, you are in many prayers... much love carla

Darrell, If there is a Hope Hospice facility in your area perhaps you will find a support group there that would be a better fit than the others you've attended. May peace be with you. Dolores

My prayers and condolences are with you, brother..it's been 5 months for me also...am finding it very difficuly to live....I know...so sorry...:( May God bless you, Darrell (BIG hug!) and yes - grief share support group has been a help..(it's a free nationwide support group put on through churches..key word: Grief Share...All the best to you.