WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS OF FAITH Community Group
A place where people of faith may freely discuss issues of grief from a faith based perspective.
I am learning that grief is ever evolving......one minute up, the next down. I have had a low week, due to intense heat here in Queensland which might sound good to you in the middle of winter and snowstorms but can be extremely wearing and oppressive.
Today friends came around and helped do some work around the property. I have a lovely little house but sat on 2.5 acres, which is the bit which is the hardest to cope with. I have decided to sell.
It was considerably cooler today as well which helped.
I felt relaxed for several hours today, long enough to actually concentrate on some cleaning around the house whilst my friend was working out in the yard, using the whipper snipper. It has been so long since my husband has been out there cleaning up that this was really comforting to me. It is the smallest things that seem to comfort me or conversely distress me!
And then again it hits me, he has gone, I won't see him again working around the yard, calling out for a cuppa, asking what's for dinner? And I almost feel guilty that I am here almost "enjoying" a "normal" day.
Why is life so unfair? I know I have to hang in....but it is so hard.
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Today I feel grateful. Grateful for my dog Blue (Blue Jean Baby Queen, Prettiest girl I've ever seen). Grateful I'm still kickin'. Grateful I'm finally taking responsibility for my health. Grateful I own my home. Grateful for good friends and neighbors who watch over me. Grateful to God for His everlasting love and patience with me. Grateful I survived the 10 years since my wife of 30 years...
Grief is part of the journey
It's what we do with what remains
Some days are encouraging, some days are difficult
But we must have strength as we encounter the challenges before us
You have friends showing their support for you by working on the property
How kind, how thoughtful, how considerate
It was encouraging, then you were able to do some inside cleaning
Unfair? Definitely, but don't let it define you
Little steps, one step @ a time!
jdp
P. S. Loved to hear the term "whipper snipper" - am assuming that's what we call a weed wacker.
It hasn't been an easy decision but one that both my hubby and I discussed at the beginning of his illness and we put the house on the market then.....but his illness just escalated and I couldn't cope with that and the house at that time. I feel the time is right now, it could take several months anyway, and it is one way to start clearing out his belongings. I'm hoping to remain a little independent from my children at this stage, I am 61 years, but get closer to them as well. One is 45 mins drive away, the other is 2000kms away!!!
The main thing that keeps me as positive as anything is the knowledge that I will take Norm with me in my heart wherever I go. Good luck with your decision. K xx
ps yes I expect the "whipper snipper" is a weed wacker!!!!