I found DS about 11 months ago when the other half of me was ripped away on a Sunday morning right before church. I am thankful to God that I had some knowledge of how to look for guidance and support via the internet. And if not for God and DS I really do not think I would be where I am today.  As I look back on the past 11 months I now understand how one might want to end it all, as I have known people to do. So if you are in that frame of mind please call out to Jesus and anyone else that can help. I went to a Grief Share group for 13 weeks and attempted to do another series of the group... but in trying to get better I did foundd myself in the state of sorrow because of others losses. I think I was just on Empathy overload and my heart is still and will always be broken.  This week my church is starting a study of Heaven and I am excited to go and learn as l much as I can.  Last week I was listening to some music while cleaning my house and I started to do a little dancing.  I stopped right in my tracks and had an overwhelming since of guilt!  I know this was the work of the evil on telling me how dare you, because I know that God wants me to be joyful again.  Grief does not end it will just be more bearable because 34 plus years of love just does not end.

Thanks I have not been on here in a long time and I just needed to talk to people that understand.  I have a few close friends and relatives that always check on me but I do not think that they really want to hear my stories anymore. Was in SF with a few of them this weekend and I have so many wonderful memories of the city with Jim and it was the first time back since his death. The sun glasses came on because I did not want to have to explain my sorrow and happy memories at the same time.  Until you have taken this journey on your own it is really unfathomable. So thanks for letting me just ramble. Take care and God bless