
WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS OF FAITH Community Group
A place where people of faith may freely discuss issues of grief from a faith based perspective.


As some of you know I moved to a new city 2 months ago where I only know my dgt and her fiance. I left a place I had many friends and family. As I attempt to adjust to the move I feel stuck. I kind of know the steps I must take to rebuild but my energy for tackling it has been lacking. The last time I felt like this was after I lost my wife. At that time I spent stuck for 2 years before pushing myself outside my comfort zone and rebuilding. I know getting stuck is a definite part of the grief process which is why I decided I would share my struggle then and now. Both then and now I wish my spouse was here to share the challenge with. Back then I was in so much emotional pain the rebuilding was even more difficult. Now as I move to this new city the aloneness of being widowed is brought to the forefront once again. How did I get unstuck before. Truthfully I hit a wall where I was existing not living. I knew change had to come from within with God's guidance. I forced myself to join social groups, and volunteer groups. I found a church community I was comfortable with. All steps I know I must do once again. I have successfully once with Gods guidance moved from total despair to quite a fulfilling life. I am praying for the guidance to do it successfully again. I do know I dont want to stay stuck for 2 years again. Sept is coming with lots of new programs starting. I know I must find the energy to get unstuck. I know I must surrender to God and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. Does anyone else have stories of being stuck. Are you still stuck or have you found a way to deal with it. God bless. Gerry
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I turned 19,984 days old, which means on March 7th of this year I will turn 20,000 days old. Good lord, I should be wiser than I am , me thinks, cause that's pretty old. anywho, it got me thinking about my ptsd and stuff. what can I do to keep the positive influencing my mental health now that I realize how many days actually went in to making me the hot mess that I have been?So it came to...
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The first stage of self care for me is having a routine. We’ve been in the new place for two weeks now. I think the routine is settling in nicely. Laundry is done. The only items not folded and put away are the towels I just took out and I’m done. I’m proud of that. Laundry is folded and put away and only what we wore today is dirty. Granted, we don’t have a ton of clothes. But still,...
Find a theater with "The Meg" on for tomorrow. I will watch it here. Then we can share the shivers. Anyone else?
I have started and been stuck so many times....
Hugs T.
I am so stuck that it feels hopeless...daily wrestling with thoughts of how blissful death would be. I can read your examples of healthy steps but have not managed them myself.
Lord bless you my dear brother., I know He will. Thank you for your kindness.
Stuck!? Oh my, yes. My husband left (moved to Heaven) almost two years ago, and just when I thought I was making progress, bam. I've had to bulldoze some of it right back to the dirt level.
I have just recently re-emerged from my hidey hole, which I willingly confined myself to because my behavior was so icky that it was not fit for the good people I was mixing with!
Closing my door one day I loudly declared to the Lord that I could not leave, again, until the black abyss of pain from grief was healed enough that it would not burn in me, keep my temper short, and tears hot. Fortunately, my Heavenly Father is very kind to me and Holy Spirit doesn't ever run off. It has been six weeks with prayer, conversation, communion, Scripture reading/declaring; pressing in .
Is it all over? No. But I have discovered a Presence that I can feel, that I can hear, that I can truly talk to and who responds in real time in real language. He even tells me private and personal things. I am falling in love with Jesus,all over again.
So, I've released myself from my room, but I haven't returned to my old church, where I cried too many times and failed to put the 'church face' on for longer than was acceptable. It's not anything on them, truly. My grief can be ugly and get old. And people remember first impressions. That's just how it is.
I've prayerfully sought out another local assembly to become part of. I hope to become a blessing there.
AniLo (I am His)
I'm a believer in exercise for the mind and spirit. Last but not least, turn it over to God and pray about it each day. You will remain in my prayers. Love and Hugs, Dolores
Antonella
It's been awhile since I have been on here. I can certainly relate to not having your wife to face the challenges. I still struggle with that after 3 years. And living in the same place. It's the small things in life we used to share and talk over. Now I'm talking to myself a lot of the time, or my little dog. But after 21 years of sharing life with that one person, it isn't easy to reboot. I have tried to get back in touch with the single guy I was before marriage. That helps at times.
But like you said, you rebooted before and I have confidence in you that you will find that path again. Staying in your faith is the best way and remembering that we aren't ever really alone. God is there in the darkest part of the night as well as the lightest part of the day.
Your going to make Gerry. Your a strong Christian guy and it'll happen again.
Peace, Tim
'Some beautiful paths cant be discovered without getting lost"
I know in widowhood we spend a great deal of the time lost. But I truly believe even when lost we are continually moving forward and yes there are beautiful paths still to be discovered.
To everyone here I truly not only unstuck is possible but beautiful paths in whatever form they take. God bless Gerry