WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS OF FAITH Community Group

A place where people of faith may freely discuss issues of grief from a faith based perspective.

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pahatfi 12/23/2017

When my husband died in July this year i found that i did not cry like i thought i would. as we get closer to christmas i am crying more than ever. i will be spending christmas with my daughter and her family and some friends invited me to spend a couple of hours with them for a birthday...they knew christmas would be hard for me this year. i jiust want to go to sleep until after the first of the year. a friend that is also a widow took me under her wing, we gather to play dominos and eat a meal at her house, she invites me to shop with her and share a meal. i thank God for her kindness to me, i don't know what i would do without her. i am taking piano lessons i do enjoy playing though i'm not very good yet. Carl would have loved to hear me play, but i was too afraid he would critise my mistakes so i didn't play for him. i wish now i had. i have a cat that is a great comfort to me.

gerald222 12/23/2017

When our spouses first pass it is so overwhelming a sort of numbness takes over. Gradually the numbness is replaced by more emotional pain and crying. You are spending time with family at Christmas, have a friend that understands the journey and are doing something you enjoy in taking piano lessons, You are doing everything you can do to cope with this very difficult journey. Just want to send you a big Canadian hug and I promise you the pain and crying will diminish over time. The crying is actually a very healthy emotional outlet to release the intense emotional pain. We must work our way through the grief in order to heal. God bless and praying for peace for your heart and spirit. Gerry

Msbklyn 12/23/2017

I lost my husband 9/30/15. Before I knew it the holidays were here. I decided to put up a tree and some decorations because I thought I'd feel worse if I didn't. I was at my sisters for New Years Eve, just her husband, me and my sister. I went to bed before midnight because I couldn't face a New Year without him. Last Year I stayed home and went to bed. This year I'll be at my sister's with other people, mostly family. I think I'll be ok, but if not, it's ok too. It takes time to get to a point where you can move in the world without the constant heaviness. It's still there, but it's lighter and you carry it better. I guess you just get used to it. I still have difficult moments and days occasionally and miss him greatly but I'm doing ok. Just wanted you to know . God Bless and peace to you

shewearsblack17 12/24/2017

It amazes me how my stepson has stepped up to the plate. He used to detest me, but now that both his biological parents are gone, he calls me often, lets his kids talk to me, and tells me they love me. I find that to be therapeutic. I actually baked an apple crumb pie this afternoon. I am hoping to feel well enough to go to my friend's house tomorrow. I have been really, really sick. I mourned the fact that I only got three Christmas cards this year, but then again, I never sent any out :) I did my best, and that is good enough. Feliz Navidad!

Shrn 12/25/2017

I also was concerned about not crying during the funeral because of my lack of tears. I spoke with the funeral director and he was right- often the tears are delayed by our own defencesite. It's actually hard to accept the reality of what happened. A day at a time or moment by moment is all we can do. Sharon

nell79 12/27/2017

I, too, was amazed at how I managed thru the funeral with few tears-I thought it was the xanax! And now I struggle holding back the tear. Seems I cry over such trivial stupid things.

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