Sending a big Western Canada hug your way. You have push forward to build a life for you and your children the best you are able. Your husband would be so proud of you. Figuring out Gods purpose as we forward is definitely a challenge for all of us. I think if any of us could turn a switch and go back to our married life we would. The world out there is very very complicated which is why we need God more than ever as we continue to rebuild. Even now there are days when I feel I go 2 steps forward and one step back, The steps forward involve engaging and enjoying life and feeling at peace and then there are memories of what was and how precious that was. None of us asked for the 'single' life that is part of being widowed. With it comes a whole host of challenges we must adapt to. Antonella you have worked hard to rebuild your life. You and your children continue to be in my prayers. Gerry

This is my third year since the death of my husband, from cancer also. Struggles still continue @ times, unanswered questions & new responsibilities. In my reading came across the following that I found helpful & wish the same for you.

"Grief never ends. But it changes.
It's a passage not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness nor a lack of faith
It's the price of love."
jdp

Antonella,I
I am at six years (will be seven in March) and still struggle with why I am still here. Unfortunately, I have also lost three siblings and two in-laws, and an aunt since my husband's passing that has added to my grief journey. At times, I feel so alone and try to make sense as to why God has allowed me to suffer through so much loss in such a short period of time. It is difficult. Even so, I am grateful that I have two children and four grandchildren. I am also fortunate that I did not retire prior to my husband's passing; work gives my life structure, and I have some good co-workers who are supportive and kind to me. I am convinced
that I must be here for some purpose - just trying to find and recognize it.
Roxanne

Thank you all for the encouraging words. I feel better knowing that I am not alone in my struggles. Roxanne, you are fortunate that you have supportive co-workers. I have had a nightmare with my coworkers. I now have to formally file a complaint for harassment against a supervisor. He told me I should not have told off a male coworker because it made me look bad. He sent me a message on Facebook with an erotic picture and I found it offensive and I told him to stop. I was not respectful of his feelings because this behaviour is unacceptable. The supervisor then proceeded to tell me that since I'm in a shop full of men then that's "just the way it is". I told him that is not the way it is and I will not accept this. I ended the conversation and I went to rant to my supervisor. He said he did not agree with the comments and he said he heard about the incident when I told off the coworker and agreed that it is my right to speak up for myself and defend myself. I can't believe that in this day and age I'm fighting for women's rights for respect in the workforce. I know we all have our cross to carry and Jesus had it a lot worse by being crucified for what he believes in and he was doing it to preach the word of God which was to help everyone.

Hi Antonella,
I'm so sorry you have gone through this unacceptable behaviour from co- workers.
I'm glad you have the strength and peace you need to keep moving forward in
spite of all the trials you have faced.
You are an amazing woman, I pray for Our God to keep blessing you and your family.
Keeping you in my thoughts .......Sandra

It is such a comfort to come to this forum and find others who always understand what we are going through on this grief journey. March will be three years that my husband died from cancer and at times I can hardly believe years are going by and not months. My husband will always be in my heart, miss him tremendously. The holidays came and went so back to a normal routine again. I found a church support group that I love attending. Everyone at different stages so we all learn from each other. Since I don't have family that live too close by, I always feel the need to keep strong, healthy and active and have a plan B if something goes awry. I also belong to a church club so a wonderful group to socialize with and we have potlucks. Many blessings,

Antonella, I wish you the very best. I too have dealt with absolute stupidity from coworkers and it is so hard. Keep on doing what you think is right.
Cheers
Sandy

Hi Antonella. I lost my beloved from cancer also. It has been five months now. Cancer is such a hideous disease and there were parts of his suffering that torment me still. I hope this New Year is better for you.

Sylvia