Wendi, he's gone. If our loved one's could call us on the phone that would be so exciting. I think it's a coincidence.

We so hope that it's not true and we'll awaken from this living nightmare. I wish it could happen. Unfortunately, as you know, it's true.

I hope these disturbing phone calls stop or you figure out what it is. Let us know what you find.

Roz ♥

Oh Wendi . . I do understand the denial that seeps into our widow brains, along with the pure NEED to have him back! There must be some mistake!! We say it all of the time. We all say it, because we want to believe that by some crazy divine intervention, we will be told it was all a mistake and this reality is not true. It belongs to someone else, it belongs on another plane . . but it most certainly does not belong to us!!

Yet the sad fact is that it is true, and it does belong to us. :( There is no hope that they (the deceased) are coming back on this earth plane, at least not as they were in the same human form. I'm so sorry to say this Wendi and others that are vacillating and struggling with your new reality.

As for the call from the hospital . . that is probably the "mistake" here. Otherwise, the caller would have left a message or a call back number with an extension, my rational mind thinks. ?? Perhaps it is simply a faux pax to help get you past the dream state and grounded in reality? The Universe does work in mysterious ways.

I'm sorry you are suffering from such anxiety and questions. You are not "unhealthy" in your thoughts . . we all experience our bouts of seeming "madness" during raw grief. Hang in there my friend. You are not alone. Hugs, D

Joan Didion writes about this in "The year of magical thinking." She says it's magical thinking because she doesn't want to give away her husband's shoes in case he really isn't dead and he magically comes back.
She saw him die of heart attack in her living room, and also at hospital and funeral, I think.
So you're not alone or crazy for having those thoughts!

If people knew the lengths that I myself had gone to in an effort to not accept what happened... I would surely be committed. But it is almost impossible not to hope... not to think it could be different. I was there when Shane was killed... I saw him. I still screamed for someone to help him... to get him up. I even screamed at him to get up.
The months following were no better... I tried everything I could think of to make it "not real", or to undo it. This is such a hard thing for our minds to accept. About a week after I lost Shane, I heard my daughter say "Dad's here" and I lost it... hollering "thank God, and running to the door. It turned out that she was talking to my granddaughter, Anabelle, and informing her that HER dad was here... my son, not my husband. Hope can be so very cruel.

Sorry darling . . . if you cannot trace it (that phone call) . . you're gonna have to let it go. Sorry to say. It breaks my heart to read all of the above (and your story) in regard to those lost connections. :( I truly am so sad for you . . . yet knowing this is your (our) reality now. :( I can't change this for you . . yet will go to bed thinking of you and feeling sad for all of us that have our reality to deal with, unchanging. Love to all . . we'll survive this, yes we will!! xoxo, D

Wendi, it may very well have just been a misdial. I am sure if it were something else they would have either left a message or called you back. My heart breaks for you as I understand that nagging want for this all to be just a terrible nightmare. At times I even wonder if our lives here on Earth are just that, a terrible nightmare. Though I know that is not true as there has been much joy and love in my life. But the loss of my husband feels so unsurmountable at times. Hang in there kiddo, we are all here for you. Hugs and Love, Michele