A gray day here in CT...feeling a bit badly for the folks who travel on Memorial Day Weekend to my little town, or anywhere else for that matter...and the people who march in the parade, and for the store owners who have flea market sales on the side walk infront of their businesses. For me, I have not ventured out of my house since May 5, today is the 23rd. 

I'm having a slow morning, or a gentle morning to start my day. All week I've been striving to get up and get dressed everyday after my 3 weeks in bed. Each day has brought more accomplishments, small steps towards living and not just existing.

Yesterday I began reading "You Should Leave Now" again, and thought for today I'm just going to write a couple of paragraph quotes from the book, with the hope you will 'feel' something, and be caught with the feeling as I was, You Are Not Alone. I and others may not have walked in your shoes, as humans we all experience life differently...butttaaaa pain is pain, different forms, different levels/experiences.

"So, I kept quiet"...."But inside my secret weighs a million tons. It leaks out the seams in arguments with my husband, aloofness with my children, and dissassociation with myself. I don't know who I am anymore, I don't remember what lights me up. I am hungry to connect to a purpose deeper beyond  daily routines and obligations. I don't know what I want. I don't know why I feel so low."

"I believe that pain, even the darkest kind carries messages for us, if only we can sift through and find them. Hidden in our pain are whispers of the spirit, beconing us to find courage to make a change. But it feels impossible to find the lessons when you can't manage to find the doorway out of your own agony."