Hi Andy,
I'm reluctant to talk too much about my depression, because I feel like I should be helping others feel better and giving a ray of hope to people who need it.
That said, I think their may be a biological component to my case. Lots of family members have suffered with it, and I see a lot in common with them. Fortunately, I have anti-depressants that help me cope and allow me to function (mostly) normally.
On the emotional side, I think that my major episodes have started after a personal rejection or loss. I give too much power to what other people think of me, so when they dump me or tell me how "evil the gays are" I sometimes let that get to me, instead of realizing it's their problem, not mine.

We can talk in private, but I think that you are awesome and that there is nothing wrong with you. Time helps heals our emotions and each day is a new learning experience. I learned not to let others get to me. My entire family (including young nephews and nieces) have accepted me and love me unconditionally.

People will react to you based on how you express yourself. If you seem fearful and ashamed, that will fuel their hate. If you seem confident and undisturbed, they wont bother with you.

Let's talk later on or better, send me private messages.

Tkae care. Big hug! You are a super hero!!!!!!!
Andy

Not being understood by my family makes me depressed. Feeling like an outcast like I don't belong. Not being able to have a quote normal life because of my illness. Not being able to have a family of my own or a normal marriage, not being able to finish my education, having to move back home with my family because I got ill,not being able to have the health and vitality and figure that I want. Having to take a lot of medicine for the rest of my life. Having to be away from the people that I love because I need extra care. depresses me Not being able to just pick up and go when I want to depresses me .Having a sick mother and dead father depresses me .Not being able to work anymore depresses me .

You have big, huge challenges. Sorry that you have to go through all that. I really mean it.

We carry heavy weight just by being LGBT dealing with people who do not understand how we feel. Then you got your illness, illness of your mom, loss of your dad, and unable to work and have a normal life and family.

When the weight is heavy our mindset has got to be stronger. Challenges make us stronger. It must be incredibly tough for you, but you need to focus on how you can be happy. You need to seek the cup half full, in the place of the cup half empty. Take your meds, because these will provide relief. Show your mom how much you love her and care for her the best you can. And when you feel well meet with friends and or go somewhere you like.

You are an awesome friend who has given me a lot of support and inspiration.

Think in things you love to do.

I am also sad for not being able to have a family. My biggest mistake probably was not coming out decades ago. I feel sorry for people who are in the closet who are adults. The feeling of rejection saddens me, but then I lift myself in thinking of those who support me. This provides me energy to help others and keep going. Where I live it is harder to find and keep a job once one comes out, but I am not sorry for coming out. What I am truly sorry is for being forced to fully come out.

Right now we need to be happy for being ourselves. For being good, decent and loving people. Do not focus on what others may think of you, for the simple reason that they do not own your world, and you owe them nothing.

Please message me anytime.

Take care and be week.

Big hug.

Thanks Andy Big hugs