for myself I use to have friends we would hang out together.when I was diagnozed some left me..I didnt hear from them..I wasnt different I was still me and did feel so hurt.. thinking where are you..but people react to things in different ways ..I so see this now .. not at the time..some friends I think wanted to give me space ..people can be unsure they may say the wrong thing..some think you dont want them they wait for you to call...Andy2011 dont worry its funny though as said in a discussion I use to argue with someone they appeared at a different time..it all works out..you say it to me Andy life is to short..new people to meet..life to live..many people need help..things to do ..you are you ..

things to do..LOL as said in discussion some awesome people on here..book needs to be wrote hint hint :)

I'm guessing it's not typical for these "friends" to go this long without speaking to you. Sadly, this is part of the coming out process and everyone who comes out has to go through it. If you think that they may be still trying to grasp this whole thing then don't give up on them just yet. But let's just say that they are avoiding you because of your revelation. I could sit here and say "they weren't good friends to start with" or "you're just finding out who your real friends are" and so on but that's not going to make you feel any better about it. The truth is that only time and experience will make you feel better. It is true that some people aren't going to accept it period. You have to just forget about those people and concentrate on the friends you still have and the friends you will make. This is something I knew ahead of time going into the coming out process. I was aware that I would lose some friends but I also knew that I would gain some new ones and strengthen the friendships that still existed...because those are the people who decided to stick around and not judge so they should be given my utmost attention. Have you tried calling these people yourself? Maybe flat out ask them if you coming out is what made them so distant? If they start to tell you they're alright with it but still kind of dance around the subject or you hear discomfort in their voice then you know that they are not alright with it. Either they will come to terms with it or they won't. Regardless of what they do, YOU must move on with your own life. As for your gay friend, well, I've seen some gay guys change friends like they do socks. It's the ones you notice making an effort to keep in contact that you should grab onto and never let go. All in all, remember that there will come a day when you won't feel so hurt by this kind of thing.

Thanks Shane. This helps a lot.

JJ, I will start on the book today.

hmmmmm? Someone say book?

tell Shane Andy..Shane missed discussion ..I will just do the excitement part for which reading this burnt dinner and nearly choke the person who came round to eat it..LOL if you do ..dont forget who you are dedicating it to..

You make me smile JJ. Indeed I will dedicate it to you and Shane.

Oooh! If someone makes a movie out of the book, can I get Betty White to play me? ...or a cat?

oh now youve set me off..movie..with tears down my face from laughing whose going to play the part of Andy visitng a certain club..you two crack me up

half naked and cops..LOLOLOLOLO that bit so want to see..

Ok. uopdate... I deleted my gay friend from my BB messenger. Got fed up of being pushed back. He wanted me to come out before I tried sex for first time and confirm that I like it.

I am currently taking to this nice girl with who I spent time at the beach hugging and holding hands. Never got past that since her brother, one of my good freinds was there. Yup, I love complications, LOL.

Anyways, I am not talking to my 3 supposed to be best freinds of mine. One is so much trying to push me back into the closet. The other one simply does not give a shit about me. The third is in Spain and not responding my messages.

The important thing is that I have got you yous and that helps a great deal. I hope some day soon I manage to hook up and have sex with some nice guy and find peace with me and who I want to be. That is key whether I am coming out or seeking a lasting relationship with this girl I met recently. I do not want to do anything with this girl before I try sex with a man. I believe I owe it to her and myself.

What do you all think?

I'm still hung up on the part about your (ex) gay friend wanting you to completely come out first. His method just seems kind of backwards. He may be focusing completely on the emotional aspect of it all, which is fine, but that's not how everyone approaches it.

So true..... You rock man!

I say cupid has got alot to answer for..LOL