VOICES OF RECOVERY Community Group
Overeaters Anonymous/VOICES OF RECOVERY focuses on the 12 Steps of Recovery, OA Literature and sharing your recovery with us.
Step one has always been easy for me, but then I get to step two and I am just lost and stumped. I suppose that it's supposed to sounds like a logical next move. If you admit that you don't have the the power to control food, then supposedly you would assume that there's a power that can and will control the food for you---right? Or at least something like that----? Well, for me it';s very hard to trust a higher power to help me with much of anything.
And because of my depression, negative thinking and overall pessimism about life in general, its' very hard to believe that anyone or anything can and will help me with this addiction. And then there's the fact that I dont' want to bring others down with my struggles. I am convinced that people are not going to want to listen to my trying to work my way through these issues. Who besides my mom would want to hear it anyway? And of course in my mom's case she just ends up using it all against me anyway. Or else she would freak out later and I would of course then realize that it was all too much for her. So I probably think that others are going to respond the same way.
And because of my depression, negative thinking and overall pessimism about life in general, its' very hard to believe that anyone or anything can and will help me with this addiction. And then there's the fact that I dont' want to bring others down with my struggles. I am convinced that people are not going to want to listen to my trying to work my way through these issues. Who besides my mom would want to hear it anyway? And of course in my mom's case she just ends up using it all against me anyway. Or else she would freak out later and I would of course then realize that it was all too much for her. So I probably think that others are going to respond the same way.
Step Two uses the word "came" that to me means a journey. You are on YOUR journey.
I invite you to take the Step and the language one word or phrase at a time and journal on its meaning for you.
Let's see what you come up with...just don't rush the process.
The words "came to believe" indicate to me that belief is a something that doesn't just arrive on my doorstep or that I can understand immediately. It takes time to believe and trust someting greater than ourselves perhaps because we live in a "can do" society - how many times does one hear a young child say "I can do it" and the adult knows the child can't or will struggle but the adult steps back and allows the child to try and struggle - our higher power waits till we realise we can't do it alone and turn to that higher power.. My belief journey has been a long, winding and bumpy one but thirty years on I have come to believe in a power greater than myself and it comforts me that Im not alone in this world and can lean on and trust in that power. Only something greater than me could help me certainly not the same as me cos that would be useless as Im useless i curbing my overeating and sometimes a greater power is comforting and I can rest in it not having to know all the answers and be the strong one. That greater power is sanity for me as all the problems in my day and life fall away when Im with my greater power. I don't think there is too much "doing" in this step just a simple acknowledgement we are not alone and we can rest and just be in our greater power whatever that power is.