I have seen this before, it gets posted in my fibromyalgia forum some, as it fits there also. It would do me good to hang it on the wall so I could see it everyday.

I think when I was younger I wanted to be a victim because I wanted the attention people gave me. But that attention only lasted a very short time and soon all I was, was just left completely alone in my pain with a life in ruin. I used to think when I was in pain people would all come to comfort me and give me attention but like I said, it didn't really last.

Being a victim, you allow whoever hurt you and tried to wreck your life, to win. By being a survivor, YOU win. You don't give them the power to control your future and keep inflicting the pain. You take back the power. I have said many times on forums that I believe the best revenge is success. It's building a life in this world for ourselves that we love. It's saying yes we had a bad experience but it does not define us.

It's hard though because at least for me transitioning to a survivor means I've had to face up to my life and face up to reality and all the harshness of it. I've had to accept I am alone. I had to work my way out of debt. I had to go back to school. All because I made the wrong choices in the past.

This is awesome! We have been victimized but we are NOT VICTIMS.

i've never had that one rise above, championship moment. i've never really had that moment when i saw the burning bush and become a survivor or a victor. for me it is still on a continuum and it is still a process. i can go victim in a red hot minute! it's a choice and a behavior in my repertoire i have to pay attention to sometimes every day.

see for me my brain is the issue. i have the brain of an addict and an alcoholic and my brain wants me dead. my brain will destroy me if i let it. if i don't keep it healthy.

especially with chronic pain experience every day i am still a victim in my heart. i can get hopeless real quick.

and on the victorious side i can look back and see that my power was taken away early in life and that taking it back was a choice too. i'm still vulnerable to this. i could still choose an unhealthy relationship or make a dumb decision that would give my power away again.

i am a victor and a victim still. i feel strong. i feel amazed at all i have gotten through and i now take full responsibility for all of my choices even those that ended tragically. like putting myself in a dangerous situation that turned out dangerous.

am i making any sense?? i forgive myself for my past choices. i know that if i could have done better i would have. and i trust in myself to come from an attitude of self respect moving forward. but i did not become a victor in one moment like a switch that i can turn off or turn on.

i have survived a whole lot of crap most of which i am responsible for. i was set up to be a victim during my childhood. and it wasn't our fault as children. but anything that has happened in adulthood is probably somehow due to a series of choices we have made based on that childhood. that is what makes us survivors when we heal that deep anguished part of ourselves and make better choices.....

it's a lifestyle in other words.