Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
Should I out a psychopath or is it too dangerous?
I’m new here, only just learned about psychopathy in the last few days as I try to recover from a toxic encounter with a true psychopath. I know I’ve been very lucky in that he got bored of me after only two weeks and has disappeared (I think for good). I am still trying to resist the urge to get in touch with him.
I only knew him for a month and was only in a “relationship” with him for two weeks, so I know it’s not major. But he has mucked about with my head even in that short space of time. Promised me the world, whilst lying about everything and delivering nothing. He must have somebody else on the go, as he disappears for 3 days at a time each week, which is luckily what alerted me to the fact that he wasn’t what he seemed.
I have several questions please.
1) He works as a home carer and that is how he met me, as I am a carer for my mother. He abused his position of trust by starting a relationship with me, although I admit I was willing. Now I feel it is my duty to report him to his employer, not for my own case, but because I truly worry about how he may be exploiting other vulnerable sick and elderly people in their own homes. I know you can’t really hurt a psycho’s feelings but attacking him at his job may well hurt him, as he seems to enjoy his job (says he does, unless that’s another lie), but it must give him some validation and presumably the chance to exert power over vulnerable people.
However, all I’ve read so far tells me that I shouldn’t do so, that I should walk away and keep walking, because of angering him and causing him to retaliate. I have no idea of how vindictive or violent he may be.
Should I report him to his work or not?
2) Should I send him a message telling him what I think of him and that I know exactly what he is, and I scorn and pity him? Or do I just risk retaliation from him? I seem to be nothing to him at the moment.
3) Not so important, but it’s really annoying me. Why did he discard me so quickly? Obviously he has someone else on the go, the main attraction, and I was presumably just a side show. Was he just bored? Was I too boring? Had I been too easy, a walkover? He hadn’t got anything out of me, sex or money, so why did he give up on me? Money: he made comments about being underpaid at work and his computer breaking down and needing a new one, but he never asked for money, nor did I offer it. Was I meant to jump in and offer money as soon as he said he was hard up? Sex: he could have had sex if he had continued; we had only made out but I certainly wasn’t saying no to sex. If anything, I was keener than him. Is that why he drew back, to punish me by withholding sex?
2) I feel insulted that he gave up on me so quickly, which is ridiculous. I know that I’ve had a very lucky escape, but he’s still managed to muck my head and emotions up even in that short space of time.
I’ve never had much luck with relationships and it was my first in a long time, and undoubtedly my worst experience so far. I suppose my lack of success has always been down to low self-esteem but I can’t believe I’ve been so victimised again. I can’t bear that he saw me as vulnerable and weak, and exploited me so easily. How do I stop this turning me bitter and frightening me off from ever trying a relationship again?
Thanks for listening.
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I need some plot development ideas for a book I'm writing. Here's the lead in:------@1630 she texted me, asking for gas money. "Are u at work? I have to work in a couple hours I don't have any gas barely I was wondering if u had 20$ by chance haven't been able to get any massages in I'm sorry to ask was just seeing"She agreed to meet me at the townhouse @1730. I asked her to call me before...
Ps have an instinct for choosing appropriate victims. Don't blame yourself -- change yourself!
How do I have to change myself? Be more self confident? Don't they just target anyone normal, "nice" and empathetic?
Could he have given up on me so quickly because he realised that I was clever enough to see through him sooner rather than later? Or would he just have seen that as more of a challenge to break me? It's a vain hope of mine that he thought he wasn't going to get very far with me but I'm probably kidding myself, and really I was just too boring for him.
What did this person do that triggered you? Think of specific things that made you say to yourself "I want this." Why is your wounded pride making it so hard for you to let go? Why beat yourself up over this one, when someone who could really care for you is out there somewhere, looking for you?
So is it usual for it not to be about sex but to be about money or just about entertainment for them?
I wanted what he was offering (obviously falsely in retrospect): is that so wrong? Is it wrong to think that somebody could fall for me and want to be with me? Who wouldn't want to think that somebody was bowled over by them? I know it's naive in retrospect, but isn't that how people fall in love and become couples?