My guess is that he won't exactly leave you alone. He might reach out and try to hoover you to be sure you are still on the hook, or he might try to punish you by spreading rumors and turning people against you.

It takes a long time to cut your own emotional tie with a sociopath, even when you know the relationship was awful for you. What helped me was therapy, reading lots of books and articles, and keeping no contact at all.

You can do this! You can love yourself more.

Thank you! One minute, I'll be ok, then the next I'm not! It's like how do you miss a person that was not the person that you thought you had...? Who and what exactly am I missing? I wish I never had to experience this! Why did this person come into my life to tear it apart? Why would someone deliberately want to hurt me on Purpose? I thought he was my soul mate...! I loved him with everything that was in me and it ALL was a lie...?!???? HE NEVER LOVED ME??? My God, I'm devastated! Thanks for the rely! Bless you! This pain right here.... I do NOT wish on NO One! And I Mean NO One! I did just start therapy... I Pray it helps! I just want the pain and memories to STOP! Want him out of my head so I can get him out of my heart

One thing in recovery i learned is if you are a codependent
You will attract a narc, socio, addict or emotionally Unavailable
person into your life. That is their target group so do not avoid
healing and dealing with that part of yourself. Even therapist can
Get fooled themselves in dating until they healed their inner core.
The narc can smell You and they come in all shades and they wear
different hats.

i go to alanon and there are Coda meetings too. My therapist is
drug, alcohol and Abuse trained and also a 12 stepper herself.

I am glad you posted on here the divorce/breakup forum is just
that. Not Saying there are not many narc victims it just not the place
to Really talk about it like on here. I try to keep my codie, abuse and
Alanon stuff off that forum. HUGS

Miranda is right that codependent, people pleasing, empathetic people attract sociopaths. I have done a lot of work on that in therapy so I don't ever get snared again.

Thanks Guys! Just started therapy last month when I caught him cheating for the 3rd time in a 5 month span. I just couldn't take any more.... I cried from my soul in his arms so he could keep that pain with him, then had him to take me home. I see my therapist 2wice a month. He has told me some of the things that you all have spoke on, I just need to learn how not to be that person. I haven't heard from him in 2 weeks...! Do you think I will not! Is he gone forever?

I feel like I'm loosing my mind!

I think you know that him being gone forever would be the best thing for you, even though it feels crushing right now. Any contact with him will delay your recovery.

You're right! I do know that. Thanks for the support! Today was a good day!

Had a mild panic attack today, I prayed my way through it and did my breathing exercises. Saturdays were our day, the entire day was dedicated to us... I left him on a Saturday, it's been 3 weeks since I've spoken to him. I've been the the bed all day. BUT! I'm getting up and putting on a pretty/sexy dress and going dancing! I'm going alone, getting use to being with myself and loving me through the excruciating PAIN!!! Happy Saturday All...! Fighting for my life right now! Thank You God! Couldn't get through with out You!

I am inspired by you, EP. I was in a short term relationship with an SP. It was short term because I learned to recognize red flags and asked the right questions for the mask to come off sooner. But I must admit that I thought he was perfect for me and I thought we would grow together. Silly me. I've not been feeling the best after this has all happened. Today is his birthday but I am doing no contact. I wish I was like you and put on something and go dancing alone. But I'm not quite there yet, and I don't think I would ever be in a place to do something like that alone. Sigh
Cheers to you!

I had a great time! There was some times that I thought about him/us but I was determined to be happy in that moment. What I have to learn now is how to stop obsessing over him and the situation, It's a major blow to the psyche that the Man your're in Love with.... NEVER LOVED YOU BACK!!!! That right there is where the excruciating PAIN breaths... Determined top get through this... I don't need him in my life to be happy... Through the EP I can still be happy, I can find it and receive it and walk and operate in it! Real Love will find me...! I have Faith in it! A mustard seed full of faith in it! Through the Excruciating Pain...! Love you more than you ever did in your life during this time... I'm finding out it's helping me! IwillSurvive112.... We're going to get through this together! You're not alone!

I look at it like this: the psychopath/sociopath can't love you back. They are only able to mimic what love looks like from the outside or in movies. Mature love is impossible for them. They don't really know what you are feeling.

This perspective helps me avoid "what ifs" - my brain's attempts to second guess.

I get it all... It's still a lot to swallow. Some days I get angry because I have not heard from him, then I read some more and again realize that EVERYTHING was a lie. And no Contact is good contact. Still all over the place, one minute I'm fine and the next I'm not. Tired of the emotional roller coaster. I want OFF! Why does it seems like I will Never get through this? Why do I still care/Love for someone that despises me? What's wrong with me? On the 29th of this Month, I will have not spoken to him in a month. Looking forward to celebrating that victory. No Contact is all I have, so I'm using it to the best if my ability. There's nothing left to say anyway!

Today is better.... Last night as I was laying in my bed, that he gave me... I realized that I was abused in that relationship. I realized that every conversation, every moment, every touch, every action was all a lie. That everything was calculated, I was set up to be destroyed. BUT I wasn't! I'm still here! The pain is easing daily and I'm realizing that I'm Lovable, Beautiful, Loyal, Committed, Devoted, and I can FEEL! I'm taking every second as a new second of being FREE OF PAIN! I'm finding out through the pain that I'm so much better off without him, withoutout the lies, deceit, betrayal, cheating and endless mind games. Yes! at times I feel as if I'm loosing my mind only to discover that my mind is returning to the origional state before the SP/NC/P. Sometimes, I get jealous of the new supply, only to come to the realization that instead of being jealous, I need to be praying for her (them) because all he can do is attempt to kill, steal, and destroy. He comes to destroy! So pray for him and them I do and it is also relieving me of the anger, resentment, malious, and the like. I do not want to come away from thid as a bitter Woman... I want to come away from this as a Better Woman! Happy Tuesday All! I'm getter stronger and vetter by the day! New Love is on the horizon and this time it will be the REAL deal!

The new supply is another victim, but unfortunately she doesn't know it. And you are a survivor! You probably will feel like a mess from time to time, but not forever.