They want to break you down..try to make you give up..erode your self esteem.This gives them the power in there wacky minds..especially if they wanted you to like them romantically and they didnt..

Seems like some people are infected with hatred, so whenever you let your guard down with them, they zap you with cutting remarks...just because they can, and it makes them feel good.

I've noticed that people like that are all over the net as well, you have to have a thick skin to fend off their nastiness. I imagine it's become a habit for some people to act like that, like the people you see who toss all their fast-food trash out the car window as they drive along the roads. They do it without even thinking about it.

Good answer, Richie. I've noticed that when I am particularly vulnerable,I encounter these joy-killers. They can smell vulnerability.

When I was going through one of the worst episodes with the psychopath, I wrote on a "love forum," pouring out my broken heart. I was getting quick smart-ass answers from a woman who called herself "smackie." I humored her, trying to be a good sport, until she told me that any man would treat me like that because I let him. Upon further questioning, she informed me that yes, I was the entire problem. My man had lied, cheated, used and abused me because I let him. She even informed me I was a bottom-feeder. I told her she was a troll. Her buddies came and ganged up on me and had themselves a little verbal gang rape.

It seems these kinds of mentalities can flourish on the Internet--get a few of these bilious creatures together--and no one is safe.

Ok you say these people are trolls...

I think a troll, aside from the original meaning of the word, is currently defined as a person who goes online specifically to make trouble. They typically use multiple identities, worm their way into your confidence, then attack you viciously just for the fun of it.

The earlier definition of the word comes from Scandinavia, where they were believed to be unfriendly supernatural beings who took on grotesque forms when they materialized. Legend has it that they like to live under bridges or in caves.

Right Richie, that was what I meant. You can see how the Internet variety got their name. Both types are nasty creatures who do ugly things to people while remaining hidden from view.

Today it was my mother. I'm a chunky babe - i'm a size 18. Yet my mother acts like i'm 500 pounds. I was laid off in November with a lot of other people who are still struggling to find work. I had an interview Monday, and it lasted an hour and a half. She called me this morning and asked how it went. I told her it seemed to go well, but you never know, i'm tired of being disappointed, so my expectations are low.

Then she said well you should look at their face when they first meet you - do they look disgusted? I said what? She said well your weight is a health risk.

I told her I had to go and hung up the phone on her. I was so hurt, I have spent the last half an hour crying my eyes out. Really? You're going to do this to me? My whole entire life has fallen apart and i'm trying to build my self esteem and you're going to bring me down?

Needless to say I feel i've gone back 20 steps. I feel so horrible about myself.

Your mother is an inexcusable bitch. Sorry to say it so strongly. But no wonder you have issues with your self-esteem. You are not huge. You are very pretty. My daughter is bigger than you and she has never had any problem getting a job. Trust me, your size is not an issue in the job market. Hugs!

miz d , I don't mean to slam your mom either but how dare her say hat to you? have you thought about maybe taking some distance from her for awhile? my family can be really bad for my self esteem some times, im the youngest and considered the fuck up because ive been divorced and am not like them. I stopped associating with them for 3 years and I have to say it was the first time I ever acquired a little self esteem. they still say shit to me about how I dress or because I have hair down to my butt, they say how age inappropriate that is and to cut it. I just look at them and smile now, I don't or try not o care what they think of me anymore. as long as I can live with myself and be ok with how I look that should be all hat matters. im a size 11 now but ive been a size 16 and ive had my weight fluctuate all my life after my 30's . it makes me mad when people associate beauty with being a skinny anorexic railing, beautiful women have curves and ive met a lot of men who like that so screw your mom and her nasty comments. your going through enough without the one person who should support you, putting you down for any reason. I used to say in my head , im a duck , im a duck and everything just rolls off my back. silly I no but it helped. when my sister makes comments to me no , ys she still does it, I say very quietly,,,, quack quack to her and she has no clue what im talking about which drives her even more mad lol don't listen to anyone who has nothing nice to say, they just put you down to try and make themselves out like they are better than you. excuse me but, fuck that !! your one of the kindest, smartest, most beautiful woman ive met in a long time so you just remember that , avoid mommy dearest for awhile till you feel better with what your going through. avoid negative people period. hugs girlfriend, bella

morgan, I also think anyone who says hat to you is just jealous and is trying o beat you down. surround yourself with people who love and care for you just the way you are. don't listen to anyone who tells you you don't deserve to find happiness. or that you were never loved. how the hell would they know, what gives anyone the right to say that to you. no one has walked your path or been in your shoes but you, so don't even listen to what that person said to you that's just plain wrong and mean. mean people suck.

Don't either of you feel bad for talking badly about my mother right now you have no idea how much I want to call her up and tell her off. She's a spiteful bitch and my self-esteem issues it from her. My week is always been a problem with her it's always been everything has to look perfect on the outside even though it's a fucking wreck on the inside. Like everything would be okay if the rest of the world thought it was perfect. I have never lived up to her standards ever. It doesn't matter that she told me a 22 I wouldn't last six months out of the house to be able to take care of myself that I would come crawling back and she wouldn't let me. Well I'm 45 and I've never moved home again and I've never asked them for anything. Everything comes with the consequence. It doesn't matter that I've lived my life the way I want it that I'm the only sibling whatever graduating college that I'm the only one who's had a career and taking care of myself.

Bella I took three years on from them about 10 years ago because of her blaming me for everything in her life when in reality with her being incapable of taking responsibility for own ability to deal with life. She brought me this horrific letter telling me I was basically Seatons child with everything she blamed me for was what a normal child would do but somehow I was horrible. She blamed everyone one by one of her mental breakdown when I was 16. She blamed everybody but yourself she's just a miserable fucking human being who is so critical and judgmental it makes me sick. I know it's because of her unhappiness in a shitty childhood and everything else but I am so sick and fucking tired of her being nice to me and then turning around and treating me like shit.

I'm tired of always telling me what I should should not be doing. And yet she has no one to judge. She has been there for me through losing my relationship but now that I think about it all I hear is how much it hurts her and how sorry she feel but it's because it hurts Herrera she wishes she could take it away. How she didn't get any support when she went through it with her first husband that nobody wanted to you to cry a deal with her crap and she had to pick up pieces and I had to do the same. Never once did I get he didn't deserve you or you deserve better or I'm sorry that he did that to you.

I'm so angry right now there is a list of things I just want to say to her because and said she needs the reality smack into her the amount of guilt that I feel wanting to say this that I know I would feel saying it. And I don't know why because she doesn't feel guilt of things that she says and how warble she's made me feel about myself my whole life. I want to tell her that maybe I would be such a failure or so horrible that or any of those things that she keeps criticizing me about it babies you for once in my life maybe feel good about myself which was her job as my mother but instead of making my life good she's done nothing but fuck up my entire life. And why should I feel guilty she doesn't feel guilty about her but she hurts me.

As soon as she said that I called her on it and said really of that I said I need to go and I hung up on her. She called back and left a message but I have no desire to talk to her

oh miz D, you said something here and I almost fell over when I read it,, my life has always been , this is what I would say....." act like it never happened , and it doesn't exist. that would describe my world and how I felt about it. now look at what you said??? is that strange or what? we both said the same thing. I mean I can totally relate to what you are feeling, my mother wasn't a s n or p but she was pretty much unavailable since I was a little kid and its had its effects on me too. you grow up with the shittiest identity. no matter how hard I try I cant get rid of the label that has been placed on me , never good enough. I too try to not let it get me down and my mother died 13 years ago so its gotten much better since ive been coming here. no one should treat you that way. its just not right , it makes you think your broken or something. its amazing tat sometimes our family members are own worst enemy. I would think about maybe telling her how you feel the best way is to try not to attack but put it matter of factly to her. then maybe take some time away from her for awhile. your going through some really hard times right now and you do need support not negativity. its really important that have people around you who lift you up not put you down. I know its gotta be hard being your mom I don't know what that part is like being it can be a family member. its got to be tough. but I just think she is really hurting you right now and that's not what you need in your life right now. how often do you have to see her???

I don't have to see her at all if I don't have to. The problem is never her - it's everyone else. I still haven't read the voice mail she left, i'm sure its her getting upset that I got offended and probably something about its only because I don't want to hear the truth.

I will be telling her she's not a nice person and i'm tired of her negativity ruining things and constantly hurting me. SHE IS THE REASON I have NO self esteem. She's been doing this to me my whole life, and does better, but this one was over the top and just cruel. This one will probably be the straw that broke the camels back and open up a can of worms. She needs to get a taste of her own medicine and be told what a miserable, superficial person she is. Who has no right to judge anyone until she looks at her own life which she has never been happy in, and i'm tired of taking the brunt of that unhappiness.

I can really identify with these posts, my family was like that. I was born ten years after my sisters and everybody in the family dumped on me. Didn't matter how many college degrees I earned, or the business I started from nothing with no borrowed money. I was always the loser in their commentary...a hopeless drug addict and, in my sister's words, a psychotic. I smoked pot for a few years when I was young, but since then I haven't drunk alcohol or used drugs at all. I've been examined by trained mental health counselors and been pronounced completely sane.

Those of us who grew up with abusive families have a special burden to carry in life. It's hard to have normal self-esteem after being pounded down for all those years. It's a little like having one leg shorter than the other...we can walk OK, but we're always a little off balance. Child abuse is just so very wrong.

You would think that they would leave us alone after we grew up, but they don't. They never seem to pass up a chance to get that cheap thrill of pushing our buttons.

I'm coming late to the game here but I gotta chime in! My sister is the P in my life and recently my mother said to me that she had recently had a wonderful opportunity to just sit and look at my sister and enjoy her beauty. She went on and on about how beautiful my sister is (she's not). Then after a long pause, my mother said to me, "And you! Well, you have really nice hair! And you'd even be pretty if you took off some of that fat!" I was devastated. I too am a size 18 (as is my sister!!!!!) and while I don't consider myself a raving beauty, I've been generally thought of as better looking than her, plus I'm many years younger. Believe me, Mizd, I feel your pain!
It hurts so much when the ones who are supposed to love us the most have the capacity to say things so mean to us. But it also helps to understand that when a parent does this to us over a lifetime it leads to us having a distorted understanding of what love is, thereby making us that much more vulnerable to P's and N's and all their bullshit.
Mizd, if you can you should take a break from seeing your mother. I can't as I'm parttime caregiver, but I am learning to speak up when she says such things and say, "Wow, that really hurt." Or if my husband is around he'll disagree with her and tell her how wrong he feels she is, which feels great to me. You are rebuilding your life after all the trauma, looking for a new job, and healing. I agree, surround yourself with loving supportive people and let them help you gain proper perspective on yourself. You don't deserve that sort of put down from ANYONE!