I've been focusing on healing and moving forward with my life...Some really wonderful things have happened recently: I started a new job a couple of months ago and, soon, I'll be closing on a new house. I always imagined I would buy my first home with a partner but, in light of experiences with my last N/S and what I now realize are a whole series of Ns, I've decided to move forward on my own. I am no longer willing to wait for some pipe dream of a kind, patient, respectful, hard-working, somewhat intelligent, empathetic man. Only I can make certain dreams come true in my life and I am responsible for my own happiness. Owning a home with a yard is one of the things that will provide me with some of the happiness I want.

I met another N (not an S) during the winter months. I won't bore you all with the details but it was clear he was not capable of respecting my boundaries. He started the name calling and gas lighting yesterday. Called me a drama queen and then a "revisionist historian," whatever the hell that means. So much for trying to be patient and understanding while he's been driving hours last week to see his sick mom and his previous month-long visit to Germany for military obligations...I did not expect much of him nor did I make any demands of him. I've gone weeks with no communication...When someone is home and chooses to attend every event possible without you and only tries to fit you in his schedule only when it is convenient for them, expecting you to drop everything at a moment's notice---it's not worth it. When you try to bring it up in an adult conversation and they say they made an effort and then gaslight you with name calling and lies, it's time to move on.

Another N blocked. Keeping my N radar on! In the meantime, I'll be planting my first garden and baking cookies.

Stay strong. Hugs!