Kris I do not see any button.

Mally…..I think I'm an intelligent woman but still I gave him another opportunity after he put me in a very dangerous situation and left me after I lost my baby! I'm just very attach to this uncaring man!! That' s not intelligence!

I hate the dreams. It seems I had to endure her for several months after she left just because of those dreams. Hang in there, do the other stuff right (NC!) and time will heal that too!

Bravo Bella!
Yes Kris Where is the like button. There would be so many likes on the replies here.
Well Nutellina, I dreamt of him even last night, it some times make you very nostalgic. But I remind myself that he was a monster, sick and a dangerous man.
The experience is like one has been hit by a train. Stay strong.
We all have been through it. Maintain your NC and keep venting here.

It is part of the syndrome, the dreaming. Even just 4 nights ago, I dreamed of mine. In the dream, we were together and I was overflowing with love for him. In the dream, he was bearing some bruises on his legs that he had, in reality, put on mine. I think this was how my heart was working out its brokenness. I was dreaming a world in which he had taken responsibility for the wounds he had caused me (the bruises were metaphors for the even deeper wounds he had caused). I was dreaming a world in which things could be made right. Of course, things cannot be made right in this world. Perhaps, in another, they can.

Dod you all think your ex P was dangerous?

Mine was/is dangerous. All psychopaths are dangerous.

yes, mine could be very dangerous if messed with and his past is insane.

I'm so confused….I pass from an extreme to another. Last year he was clearly crazy and I had less difficulty to disattouched. This time is different because for months he behaved so well….I feel responsible this time and I keep thinking about his extremes…..he is being in prison, put me throughout eviction last year…..but this year he was always there for me, saying he loved me so much and I was keeping distance for fear…..and in the end I think he cheated even if he assured me he didn't do it….. he thinks I think he didn't do it, so I blame myself!!!

why on earth would you blame yourself if he cheated on you? you think you did something to deserve that kind of behavior? i dont think so.

Because he is being trying to be good to me and I had hard time to trust him again. And he ended up to go with someone else!
I was giving him shit even if he didn't do anything. But in the end I know he was cheating, from his behavior even if he always said he was not.

Going in the car to talk to someone and hide the call when he saw me….two times…..it was enough for me to understand. Especially when he didn't show me the call when I asked him.

Nutelina, They even do that stuff to MAKE you feel jealous and insecure. They feel that way themselves and cannot bear to be with someone unless they shift the burden of those feeling to the victim. They set up situations that appear to be cheating over and over and over. Of course, they usually ARE cheating situations, too, but the biggest thrill for them is making you feel like shit..

try to be good? since when should you settle for him trying to behave himself. you felt insecure because he has cheated on you. period. you shouldnt feel bad because you have a normal response to what is not normal behavior. no where in that is it your fault. its his fault for cheating on you in the first place. he wanted you to feel like its your fault for being a bitch ( or whatever you want to call it). he is hiding calls because he is doing something he shouldnt be doing!! and thats your fault?? no way hun. are you still reading about what a sociopath is? keep reading information so you dont just sit there and think. your thinking is distorted right now, but that will get better for you in time and with the knowledge of knowing what he is really doing to you. he has messed with your mind and twisted everything around to make you think its because of what you did. you did nothing. he cheated. who is wrong is this situation you or him. he created the first act to cause all the feelings you had and reacted on. he did it. not you.

I know you guys are right, but I'm so confused right now….I really am……I'm able to take off these feelings of failure and guilt. I'm reading a lot and I find a lot, actually , almost everything is the same between my experience and the P behavior…..and still I'm not able to put together his image with the P one!

Read up on trauma bonding.

Thank you….it seems about right!