you file for one at the court house ( at least in washington you do ) and go before a judge he will then send paper work to be served by sherrifs to your ex. there will be a court date and if your ex doesnt show up he will grant it to you most likely. or give you a temporary order for protection and continue it trying to get your ex to show up. you just keep going to court if you have to. if you drop it and dont show up they will not be as likely to feel you feel threatened and may not give you one if you ask again later so always follow what the judge says till the end. dont just give up half way through. you must make the court believe you fear them though so write what you need to get that point across. ( fear for your life etc. ) i hope that made a little sense and helped you a bit.

Thanks bella. Oh wow! It's that complicated? What I really didn't want to it was to see him again. So I will basically have to see him if he will show up in court.

Talk to your local domestic violence shelter. You don't always have to see your perpetrator. You can also send him a "cease and desist letter" by certified mail and sue for harassment & trespassing if it continues.

Matter of fact, trespassing is the easiest option. People can be arrested on the spot. I've had to do that with 2 of my exes (one at my apartment complex and the other at my place of employment) and it stopped them both from harassing me in person... well, at home & work anyway.

Yes I'll go to talk to the domestic violence shelter. Thanks for the suggestion. So sorry aargard you had to do that.
Wow.....I had no idea about this part of the P...... I thought that being verbally abused for months was it! I didn't thought he would go on.

Don't be sorry. My boss actually called the police on my first ex when he saw him on camera in the parking lot. I didn't have to do anything but talk to an officer for 5 minutes after they had already arrested him.

Like I said, anyone in your building can call the police if your ex is on the property without an invite... and in my case, getting the police involved actually helped keep the crazies away. More more effective than a court order IMHO.

Just stay aware. Make sure someone knows where you are at all times..... have a "wingman" and safety plan. Take different routes home. Notify your neighbors and co-workers. It absolutely helps. HUGS!

Oh yeah it was very helpful for you , I'm not sure.
I did told people in my building or my friends.......even if I'm sure he would never hurt me anyway. Hugs back to you.

Nutellina ~ 5 months on and my psycho is still trying to worm his way back into my life. I have endured suicide threats, stalking, verbal abuse via texts, he even went as far as to try and infiltrate himself with a good friend of mine so that he had information about me. (fortunately I alerted my friend, who then blocked him on facebook etc). Last night I had yet another text saying 'would you meet and chat to me plz' ... they never give up! I have taken to ignoring all correspondence from him, and a number of days can go by where I hear nothing and think he has finally got the message, then I hear from him again. He can't just let it go!

Remember that this man knows you very well, during your time together he will have been studying you and what makes you tick. He perhaps knows that you will not go to the police, if you are not the sort of person to make a fuss etc, every action and reaction of yours will have been carefully noted. It's time for you to change the dynamics of the situation and take steps to protect yourself.

Do not allow him to *bully* you into seeing him again. You are not obligated to even consider him and his feelings anymore, he threw away your consideration when he disrespected you, you owe him nothing but contempt.

Change your approach, to the situation you are no longer a victim, you have had the good sense to escape from his clutches, therefore, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for (many women stay with these creatures for years). You have taken a stand against this moron and he is now suffering the consequences of his actions. If you trample all over a person's boundaries, then there has to be consequences .. otherwise you are nothing better than a doormat. Stone wall his attempts to connect with you again, and do not allow him room inside your head. It's his problem if he can't get his head around the break up (not yours), you didn't ask him to disrespect you, those decisions were down to him alone. So he has to suffer the consequences of those decisions now.

Seriously? Did he tells you he was going to kill himself? Are you answer to him or you just ignore him? It seems so strange that they keep trying to contact if you don't answer back.

As you describing him that he is being studying him it seems everything was calculate. So that's what they do? Coldly calculating everything?

I never answer to him till now and I feel much better not to do so ......I kinda feel that if I answer he will feel in power again. Do yuo think he actual suffering at some level?

You could also go for a trespass order which seems to be easier than a restraining order. Where i come from you just need to go into your local law enforcement office and fill out the trespass order, only thing is that you need to serve them with the order in the hand. You dont have to be the one who serves it though.

The hawk group saved my life.help for abused woman and children. They went to court with me.if you feel your life is in danger go to the police immediately and they Will have judge order email emergency restraining order. Dont ever think they will give up. They live off control and our fear.think of yourself always first.

It's that easier ? I'm going to ask. Thanks so much for the suggestion.

He havent's contact me since saturday anymore.....situation is better. Hopefully he will not keep doing it. So I don't have to go trhough the all process!

Yes Nutellina, I wrote a post about it about four months ago .. If I can find it, I will re-post it. He threatened to kill himself, then he made out that he had taken a load of tablets, then to make matters worse he said that he had slept for two days and just woke up .. he said 'it obviously wasn't my time' LOL! He never took any tablets, he is full of shite, he just wanted to torture me with the guilt aspect because I left him, but unfortunately for him, I half hoped he had done it because he was pestering me incessantly. Sociopaths are not renowned for killing themselves, but they understand the power of threatening suicide.

Nutellina, they study you for weakness and vulnerability during the love bombing stage because you are more likely to open up and tell them things that could be used as ammunition against you at a later date. Your psycho wants you to be afraid, they take pleasure from harming people, especially if they feel they have been rejected by you. It's all one big sick game to them, they don't care who they hurt.

If you stay in contact or respond to his messages then you are entering back into his game. He knows that you are effected by the things he is saying and this gives him a sick sense of power. Do not listen to his nonesense, but you must not hesitate to call the police if this man approachs you in anyway, show him that you are not going to tolerate his disordered fucked up games.

He will only suffer by being exposed for what he is, but exposing a sociopath is dangerous, you need to stand up for yourself, but only to the point where you are protecting yourself, you do not need the aggro that exposure would bring to your door. Keep on ignoring him and allowing him access to your life.

*not allowing him access to your life (sorry)

Zack thank you. I actually don't think he will never hurt me phisically, he never did when we were together, only verbal abuse , even if the last night he was pushing me. Maybe you are right. Maybe he will not stop easily.