No, I think you are exactly right Nutellina. I thank my stars every day that I escaped from him. My son though is still struggling. Although a man now, he still suffers from what he sees as personal rejection and callousness. It has affected him greatly. I told him everything about psychopaths and told him to do some research but he is so scared that he may be one too. Of course he is the complete opposite of his father but he cannot understand that his father is the same to everyone. I wish he could understand and start to be happy.

i think you are starting to heal. you are not insensitive. your now trying to protect yourself from his harm and that is your first step in the right direction. your doing great keep going forward it just gets better.

Joj I'm so sorry about your son. It must be difficult for him to fully understand. Especially having a dad like that.

Bella I hope you are right. I 'm kinda disconnect from feelings. Not sure it's right

Nutellina, I still have bad days (5 months on) and I feel guilty for leaving him on these days, despite everything that he has done to me. It is only human to feel that way about someone you once loved. But you will slowly detach yourself as you come to realise what a disordered individual he is, and you will alternate between being glad to be free from his chaotic influence, to feeling sad and upset because this has happened to you.

But, she will be stronger! And the minute you spot a sign in the next one Nutellina you take to the hills!
Don't waste your pity. We are nothing to these empty aliens, but a source of amusement. Let it go!

Many I was thinking about that! I think I feel upset because I allowed him to do that to me when I should not to let him manipulating me with false sweet words! I'm angry at myself and at him.

Joj yes.....next time I'll be aware of the red flags. Interestingly I already had some opportunities to get in touch with guys that display superficial behavior. Not interested in all of that. I rather to be alone that with someone that doesn't want real love.

dont be angry with yourself, you didnt do anything wrong. we all allowed it to happen to us but i can honestly say that i really had no clue i would end up here. i loved him with everything i had and he betrayed that trust. plain and simple. you didnt ask for this so dont be angry at yourself. now is the time to be kind to yourself and put yourself first for once and it sounds exactly like what you are doing. theres nothing wrong with how you are feeling i thinks its perfectly normal considering where you have just been.

I actually admire you for being able to do that Nutellina. I am striving to do the same thing but your right....it feels so unnatural. Bellanomore your statement "i loved with with everything i had and he betrayed that trust" is exactly right. That is such a hard thing to process especially when we are the type of people that would NEVER do that to someone. I guess sometimes we have to do what is unnatural to us to help aid in our healing and prevent re injury. I know that one of the things I am angry about the most is that my ex took the best parts of me that will NEVER come back, the 100% trust and open heart that he was given that will not be given in the future due to self protection. We can't change them but they sure can change us.

Bella maybe you are right I should be more gentle with myself but I have to be honest.....I had red flags about him, big ones. And I didn't listen myself. Maybe you had a different experience if you are saying you truly didn't aspect him to be that way. I didn't understand what it was about my ex, but for sure I knew something was weird....

Live if I'M BEING NO CONTACT that I'm a person that gets attached so much, anyone can do it.
Our "problem" is not that we open our heart, is that we did it with the wrong person. So before to date someone else, always examinate the other person and at the first weird behavior run away. I think you can find trust again but we need to use our brain this time and be objective.......thing that often women that dream about love and romanticism so deeply, lack.

liveintruth, remember something though, maybe its because w give 100% and all our trust that is part of why this happened to us. maybe were not supposed to do that so in some weird twisted way this a lesson in life we were supposed to learn. unfortunately we learned it the most painful way possible. im not sure but for some reason thats what came into my mind when i read what you wrote.....give yourself some time to heal and even though we are changed forever maybe it will be for the good. i know i felt that very exact same way you do right now not so long ago but im starting to come out of that a little. no i dont trust anyone, i just tried to date someone which i thought i would never do and he turned out to be the same kind of sick sob, but i have a little more hope that maybe someday with what ive learned i will meet someone more healthy. then lol, there are times that i feel i will be alone the rest of my life. i just try to hold on to the reasoning that this happened to me for a reason and im supposed to be learning something from all this pain. im going off track a bit here sorry, just know this much, you will feel a little better in time and things start to look beter than what and where you are now. i promise you it wont be totally excruciating pain forever with education and being here you will heal a little bit and it will get a little easier for you. i swear it does. for now just hold on. hugs to you both, bella

Maybe you are right bella, maybe we don't suppose to give 100%. Maybe we need to be aware of the fact we need a percent for ourself in case things go wrong.....And don't trust anyone 100%.....at least not with human beings. We can trust completly in our faith if we have one, but humans make mistakes, no one is perfect. So I guess we need balance in this.

Nutellina, I also do not have contact (there was one phone call from him 2 weeks ago) that I realized was just more manipulation to make sure I was still invested in feeling empathetic for his shitty life. I do not want to have anymore contact with him because I know it is not a conversation but just him playing with me....I would have a lot to say to him if I knew he was listening but he's not. What I admire in your statement is that you seem to be getting that distance within yourself, at least sometimes. I hope it one of those times that fake it til you make it. Keep doing the action until your heart follows....ya know? I sense strength in you. How far out from your S discovery are you?

If you are NC you are doing fantastic and yes ......I HONESTLY think that faking it will help to make it real soon or later. I really do. And if you know his intention is manipulating you, isn't helpful in some way? I mean recognize and trying to see things from his side, from an empty hearted person. It's like recognizing we really are not missing anything good. Right?

Actually I didn't understand he was sociopath until he left me in much pain......I start some researches online and it was incredible to me to recognize that all the aspects of P , he has them. Aggressive, manipulative, problems with the law, prison, abuse, etc. He is really the P example

nutellina, sweety i had so many red flags that i feel so stupid some days but i just didnt know that was what it was. he would even make the most off the hook comments that were so self serving and i would just stand there thinking wtf was that. i had all that stuff too i just didnt understand what was happening to me.i felt so bad and so dumb but now i just realize i just didnt know wht i was dealing with then. i think we all had many red flags .