Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
I've been struggling over many years to come to terms with a
lifetime of abuse from probable psychopaths and narcissists
in my life.
My iNlaws are very toxic, a lot of rumor mongering, scapegoating,
head games and lying; well, I've been wondering what they'd
be classified as, so here's a story:
My Nmil once told me a story that I found very disturbing:
apparently she had gotten fed up with her 3 yr old daughter
pestering for a walk in the woods. So she took her to the
woods (at least 100 acres, with a large pond and dam) and
simply left her there.
Someone found her wandering around by herself, and the police
brought her home hours later. She cocked her head and asked
me if I'd do the same to my son. I just sat there with my mouth
hanging open. Then she muttered, oh right, you're not like that
or something to that effect.
Is that narcissism or is it more akin to psychopathy?
lifetime of abuse from probable psychopaths and narcissists
in my life.
My iNlaws are very toxic, a lot of rumor mongering, scapegoating,
head games and lying; well, I've been wondering what they'd
be classified as, so here's a story:
My Nmil once told me a story that I found very disturbing:
apparently she had gotten fed up with her 3 yr old daughter
pestering for a walk in the woods. So she took her to the
woods (at least 100 acres, with a large pond and dam) and
simply left her there.
Someone found her wandering around by herself, and the police
brought her home hours later. She cocked her head and asked
me if I'd do the same to my son. I just sat there with my mouth
hanging open. Then she muttered, oh right, you're not like that
or something to that effect.
Is that narcissism or is it more akin to psychopathy?
something is definitely very, very wrong.
wasn't embarrassed. She also told me how she liked to call her
little dog to her and as he ran up the steps, she would kick him
so that he flew through the air and landed in the dirt.
She laughed and said that she never understood why he didn't
learn that all she was going to do was kick him, implying he was
a stupid dog to continue to trust her. I don't know what to think of
her.
them, albeit very minimal, and I kept telling myself over the years that this
was just narcissism, not something darker. As a result, I've underestimated
the degree of vindictiveness and harm my MIL (who is the definite ring leader)
could do.
Forewarned is forearmed.
wishes it weren't true as I am getting ready to get divorced and I'm
worried she'll get involved somehow with her $$. She treats my son
as kind of a prize pig, after years of ignoring him she is lavishing him
with praise and kindness. Oh and she just told him that she loves him
for the first time-and -he's 14. She is calculating in the extreme.
Toxic as a hazardous waste dump.
well they both at first idolized me (even she, even though i don't think she and her son were particularly close at the time, at all...,) devalued, and discarded me.
they ended up bonding over the devalue and discard... and totally ganged up against me to reject me with full force..
and i was a positive influence on their family, who encouraged relationships between them.
i even left a message on her machine one time and chewed her out, telling her to listen to her son and treat him with kindness, and to show love! to say i love you!!
i HELPED them.. both... all of them, the whole family. i supported all of them. they ended up treating me like worthless junk, and now they are all happily bonded.
ALL of them.
the only one that loved me was the little girl. fucked up, huh?... she even said " i love you " as her dad screamed at me to leave their property over something that i had done, trying to get work.. he didn't like the calls coming in to the house and thought i was a whore because i was a massage therapist... i guess there was a random creepy call, i'd unwisely put the number on craigslist trying to get work.. we lived up in the mountains and i was desperate to get a job, after finding out that P had moved me up there without telling his brother and brother's gf.
he didn't even give me a chance to explain myself.
and the property was half the P's anyway... and i knew that at the time, and knew his brother was being unfair. i told P he could have had a say, and stand up for himself. if his brother got to have his gf, why couldn't he? and seven years later, he said.. "you know, my dad said i could have put my foot down, and he didn't understand why i hadn't!"
idiots! they never communicated with each other, till i came along. i was like this golden beam of light, and a fucking family therapist for them, and they all crapped all over me!
same thing, played family therapist for years. Very exhausting I might
add, should have gotten paid. When I realized, very belatedly, that they
especially the MIL, GOT OFF on all the drama, I withdrew my "services".
This family: two sisters, two brothers, have always had this larger then life
presentation to others. They come across as glamorous and popular to
others, life of the party and all that. People LOVE them. Behind the
scenes of course, off stage, as you know is totally different. That's where
I came in--soothing family spats, helping out with home repairs, cooking
and cleaning for big family dinners. And always, having to do everything
for my son as they were completely disinterested in him, and besides
"walking" him as if he were a dog and doing the friendly greeting (5 min.)
and the mandatory picture taking at the end (5 min.) they literally spent
zero time with him. Zero
Now they're all over him, as he's become a success, playing in a symphony
and creating beautiful artwork. They claim that his success is due to their
superior genetics!! not the countless hours I've spent for years helping him
and driving him to practice, lessons and hours volunteering for performances
and retreats. GAH!
Oh yeah and the bonding over throwing some one out. Yep, that's how they
bond. Apparently, according to the former husband of one of the sisters,
the minute I walk out of the house, they all huddle together and start
ripping me apart. Every word, every gesture, is happily analyzed for
fault and ill intent. This has happened regardless of how much work
and kindness that I've displayed during the visit--I've always been
sacrificed.
They bond by excluding others and cause pain for sport. But they
never, never fail to come running to me if they need some succor.
Or at least used to, as I now just keep out of it (for the past few years)
and am now talking with attorneys.
I keep my emotional distance and have developed some facility for a
dead blank stare. And the nasty comeback delivered with a smile.
Some of the "skills" one develops dealing with a narc/psycho
family.
and as far as the cleaning and home repairs thing, too.
theirs & mine!
well that's one bundle of karma we don't want ta mess with, ey.