Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
My ex put me throught verbal abuse for months, I risked to get evicted, he did not work and drink for 7 months, threat a person in my building. After I discovered I was pregnant and I lost the baby, he left me alone and he got back together with his ex. After 3 months he came back, he put his life together , found a job, stop drinking. But I could not trust him but I gave him another chance because he was keep calling me for months ( I never answer for three months). He behaved well for 7 months. But a month of crisis only and now he is back with his ex again. I wonder why if he loves her so much and keep going back to her, why he came back. I hope he will stay away from now on....... He was telling me he was super busy but he was seeing her( she is 15 years older, 52 ) , he made me think I was too jealous but I guess my feelings to be betray were right. I do not have proves but .... Too busy and signals... Like last time he came to have sex with me for an hour then someone call. He said he had to find some papers for this guy in his car. He went to his car and he staid there for 30 min. I went out and when he saw me, he rolled up his window. I asked him what he was hiding and he said it was the guy and he did not want to scream at him in my place and that he was coming. I told him to tell me the truth and he said if he was cheating he would tell me and that he was coming up. I tried to stay calm and I went back in my place . After 15 min he was still there. I went down again and he did not reliaze I was coming and when I was close and he saw me, he closed the call. So I got upset , seat in the car and asked him to show me the phone ( I never do this things). He did not show me. I told me I deserve to know. He start to get agitated and he almost screamed :" I don t care about relationship ". And he said that he is faithful to me! How the hell I could believe that? We went in my place to talk, I needed answers. I told him we should take time and he did not want to. He said that otherwise we would had date other people. He did not want that and I really don t get it why!!!!!!
Few days after I left him because I could not live in the doubt to be betray like that. One month of crisis and the story ended! Now I have his bags and clothes and I really would like to through everything away.
Few days after I left him because I could not live in the doubt to be betray like that. One month of crisis and the story ended! Now I have his bags and clothes and I really would like to through everything away.
If you cannot think of any way to get the stuff to him, throw it away. If you have a mutual friend who would get it to him, I would suggest taking it there. Whatever you need to do to get it out of your sight.
It is hard, but at the end of the day, if this guy can’t decide between you and this other ex, you need to take yourself out of the equation. This happened to me before when I was younger. The guy wasn’t a sociopath, but definitely a womanizer. Eventually I just cut myself off from it and today am far better for it. I really think you need to do that to save yourself!
What is stopping you from going No Contact again? Do you have any mutual friends you can drop his stuff off to? Or do you know where the ex lives? Maybe just get someone to drop it at their front door. No notes, no contact, nothing. Just end it. It’s hard, I know, and I’m sure you will feel a connection to the man whose baby you lost (I can definitely relate there), but as I was told in my recovery stages, you don’t need the connection to the man because it isn’t real love with a sociopath, only the love you had with your unborn child was real. So hold on to that and do the right thing for yourself.
Good luck!
I don't hear from him since a week and I really think he will not contact me never again because now he is with her. They are on and off since 10 years, so obviously he loves her. Maybe he just used me, even if he was about to propose.
I really don't feel like contact him for his own stuff if he did not even care to take with him . I don't wanna be kind no more.
One time we were doing ok. Then we were talking about my ex. I was telling him not bad stuff at all…..I think he felt I was comparing my ex to him. I do not know why, he got so super upset, screaming, saying bad stuff like I was acting like a whore …. I still do not understand this strange reaction. When he insulted me, I was about to leave, he didn't give me the key to go out….I discard the door….. He ran after me and he was screaming. I just wanted to leave…..he was pretty confrontational, no physical but almost, I think he pushed me once. I wanted to leave…. I opened my car door and get in….he put his leg inside . He didn't wanna let me go. I was scared. Then he start crying.
This accident accord after I went back with him and when he stopped drinking already and his life was better……but i wonder!
Does it sounds like a normal behavior?
If you are with a sociopath, and you're weathering the storm; if it's manageable, that means he's using you. That will eventually end badly. Sometimes it's hard for us to see that, and that's likely because we are using them too. Being with someone just because we don't want to be alone is a classic example of that. I wish you the best. I think you've come to the right decision so far, but revenge invites the madness to continue. The trick is to do the right thing without exposing yourself to them. I really like Kris' suggestion about utilizing a mutual friend to return the items. Just tell that person, in no uncertain terms, that you don't want to hear about what happens when they return the items. Don't look back! :)
I have to say……being with a person like that keep me away from the goodness that there is in me. I see myself changed so much, angry, hurt and I see him all happy and not caring about others. That make me very upset!
Always remember that the psychopath is more than likely bad mouthing you to others .. although you might want to pour petrol over his stuff and set it alight ... these kinds of actions will only enforce the 'she's a psycho' slander that follows cutting them off completely.
He has dragged you into a triangulation situation with this other woman .. no doubt she is putting up with the same kind of rubbish as you are ....
https://www.psychopathfree.com/content.php?256-3-Characters-in-The-Psychopath-s-Love-Triangle
I feel like I always do good actions still after all his terrible behavior…..but I understand what you mean.
Well that woman I'm not sure she knows about me, even if he told she knows about me and him. think it s a lie.
I deleted him from Facebook and I also blocked him so if he looks for me on FB, he will not be able to find me. You know what he did yesterday after almost two weeks of NC? I sent me a friend request from his band account where there was his pic anyway. What courage does he has? Does he really thinks I did not understand he was cheating??? I deleted it and blocked that account too. Hopefully he will no go further!