I had a REALLY hard time with this too. In fact, I've had this problem my entire life. I recently started reading about OCD, OCPD, pure-O OCD, and Relationship OCD (ROCD) because I felt my obsessing was well beyond normal and it really interfered with my life. I talked to my psychologist about maybe trying some meds that someone with OCD would take. I don't think I have full fledge OCD, just a major problem with obsessive thinking.

So I had set up an appt with a psychiatrist but in the meantime, while I was waiting to see him, I looked into supplements. I came across two supplements that have shown a lot of promise in treating OCD. The first one is called N-acetylcysteine (NAC), it is an amino acid. The second one is called Inositol, it used to be considered vitamin B8 but they have removed some of what used to be considered part of the B complex of vitamins as they no longer meet the criteria. Neither of them have any serious side effects like prescription meds so I figured I'd give them a try before seeing the psychiatrist.

I read a lot of scientific studies on these two supplements that showed they were just as effective as prescription meds, without all the side effects. I read TONS of reviews and almost all of them were really good. There weren't really any negative reviews. Most people said these two supplements helped them a lot.

I immediately noticed a huge improvement. I was suddenly able to get work done, where as before I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't even concentrate on my work. I was suddenly able to focus and concentrate and get a lot of work done. I had more energy. I was less depressed, way less anxiety. I was suddenly able to sleep without taking any sleep aids which I had been relying on for months, otherwise I'd lay in bed all night obsessing, unable to ever fall asleep. It's been a drastic improvement for me. So much so that I canceled the appt with the psychiatrist.

I've been taking these supplements for probably 6 weeks.

Here is a link about relationship OCD: http://rocd.net/do-i-have-relationship-ocd/

Here is a study on NAC: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3044191/

Here is a study on Inositol: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9169302

I started with the standard dosage and worked my way up to where I'm now taking 600mg capsules of NAC 3x a day and 1 tsp of Inositol (2400mg) 3x a day.

I take NOW brand NAC and Jarrow brand Inositol powder, both of which I order from Amazon.

Thank you. I'll look into those supplements. I've never had a problem with OCD (at least, I never thought I did), but I could see obsessive thoughts possibly being a pattern for me...dwelling, etc.

Same here. My problem is just with obsessing. Ruminating. Particularly about relationships. But I figured if medications work on obsessions of someone with OCD, then why not me?

The more I research, the creepier it gets...I found out that the monster's mother has an arrest record for criminal trespassing when she was my age. Her height and weight were listed on the records and they are identical to mine.

The more I research, the creepier it gets.

Maybe it's possible we obsess about certain things- like selective OCD?

(didn't mean to post that same line twice)

Yeah, check out that link for relationship ocd. I felt I could relate to it a lot. I don't have any compulsions or anything. But like you, I get stuck in a loop when involved in these really dysfunctional relationships. My last guy was not a sociopath but was extremely dysfunctional and had other personality disorders. So there was still all the craziness and drama and trauma. I still think about it a lot, it's been a 2 or 3 months since I've seen or talked to him. But these supplements have helped my thinking go from obsessing to just thinking about, but not destructive and not preventing me from doing other things like before. It's brought it down to a more normal, manageable level.

The obsessing will most likely stop once it properly sinks in that you have been abused by an anti social! The word psychopath tends to throw people at first because the media defines it as applying to serial killers etc. The more you read, the more your eyes will open, when you look at the actual statistics, the numbers of disordered individuals wandering the streets is actually quite high. The literature will help you to validate the behaviour you have experienced. The introspection will help you to understand what factors in your life drew you in this direction in the first place.
Knowledge is Power
The Truth Will Set You Free

Hi Allison,

I don't think there is anyone out there who has come out of a significant relationship with a P and not obsessed over it. There is a LOT to wrap your mind around. I think it is a normal part of the healing process. Your mind needs to get over the cognitive dissonance, the confusion he created, and accept the part where you realize "he never really loved me" and that he used you, abused you, etc deliberately. This takes time and all of it is part of healing. For me, it took well over a year after only a 10 month relationship, but for every person it is different. Be patient with yourself. It isn't going to happen over night. You will go through a phase of reading and absorbing every single thing you read about P's, have a lot of "light bulb" moments, days of anger, days of sadness, days of feeling happy that you are free, days of questioning your sanity, etc.

Don't worry. Don't beat yourself up. Don't resist it. Allow yourself to heal and to do what you need to do to get better. If you need counselling or therapy...go for it. If you just need to read and read and read...do it. If you need other people to talk to about your experiences, come here or to another forum for P survivors, we all understand!

For me, the obsessing wasn't about wanting him back or missing him. Knowing exactly what disorders he had and why he behaved the way he did didn't help the obsessing. The obsessing was more about what an asshole, what else was going on behind my back that I don't know about, what other kinds of horrific things has he done to women, how many victims are there, what makes him think he can do this to me...etc. Those are the things that I think about a lot. I've gotten those thoughts more under control and am able to function a lot better.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201212/4-steps-make-your-everyday-obsessions-go-away?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost

I agree with all of you that it is impossible to ruminate and obsess when going through or coming out of a relationship like this. I almost would like to put the term 'processing' on it. I think that is a healthier way of looking at it. The opposite of that would be 'putting one's head in the sand' which of course will do nothing for one but to keep it there. As painful as processing is and as sometimes as long as it takes, it is what gets one to get out of this painful journey.
Maybe the supplements help with this, if so that would be great.
I also would strongly encourage the reading of books or listening to tapes as to how to 'let go'. They can be very helpful. My new therapy is listening to standup comedy on youtube. I love comedy so this works for me. I find while I am listening to comedy , no thoughts of him /her or anything else can penetrate. And while I'm having fun I hope what's happening in my body , is that cortisol levels are dropping and endorphins are rising. And I hope this will give my brain the physiological help it needs to have a break from the stress. It's thought that long term high cortisol levels can alter the DNA structure of the brain negatively. We definitely need to avoid that.

@Agent Smith.....where can you purchase these supplements?

I get them both on Amazon.

Darnit! It deleted my post again. I will have to look into these supplements.

Thanks all. I, like Allison and AS, feel like I am OCD on this. As much as I don't want to, I need to find answers. To understand what happened, to be able to recoginize the signs so in the future (if there is one), I can be more aware and not be sucked in by manipulation.

As much as I don't want to keep searching, I can't control my need for answers. I am aware that I am not going to find what I am looking for, even end up finding more than I want to know, like Allison. But I still need to know why! I am glad that many of us are feeling like this, because truthfully not many, if not all of my friends can relate to anything I am feeling at this point. The supportive ones in the beginning are to the point they don't really want to hear it and want me to get over it, even if they won't say it. I am so LOST!

This sucks!

I feel the same way @LackofTrust. I feel like a broken record to my friends. And there are details that I'm embarrassed to talk about- how I behaved.

I caved the other day and looked at his Instagram account...so many new pictures of himself with lots of likes and comments from women. It made my stomach turn. I know he's a monster- but it was like looking at a train wreck...I just HAD to look.

I've been reading "Without Conscience" by Robert Hare. I'm highlighting a lot. I'm trying to understand the behavior and mentality. I'm hoping the reading will help me get over the Stockholm Syndrome and grasp reality.