I'm here because
one: I can be

And

two: I can offer advice, and I am. I know a lot about this subject

I don't want, nor do I expect, anything from anyone here, specifically, other than some insight into the minds of victims, and this is a good place to understand psychology, people, as a whole.

I smell something off here. anyone else smell a bad odor?

Also, form experience,, I would say that anyone attracted to this topic who does have a story of their own to tell (thus a reason to be here), has exploitation on their mind.

No one is a victim to me here. Victim is a title you can choose to have, and instead of glorifying the fact that someone did do you guys wrong at some point perhaps you should drop the victim title, give yourselves an even better one like, oh, maybe SURVIVOR, and start the healing in a more positive way with a stronger more invigorating word. In the end, titles don't really mean anything, but if you are going to use one, use one that sheds positive light to your character, not negative.

I'm not trying to be insensitive, I am just extremely blunt, and I don't think I should add tons of sugar to my words to be heard. If you can get past your ego to pay more attention to what I'm saying, and realize that this is just words from a stranger on the internet, you'd feel a lot better. I don't see why I should have to go anywhere. Healing isn't easy, and to get better you have to experience discomfort. Accept it.

I don't personally have a problem with term "victim." For me, that "survivor" term rings hollow like alot of other politically-correct sanitized language does. When I hear stupid terms like that, I am often haunted by the chorus of goodie-two-shoes, in the back of my mind, singing "Up With People" which I was forced to listen to during high school high school assemblies.

Just let us define ourselves. We are the ones living the experience. Don't tell us what YOU think we should say about ourselves or how we should feel.

Lol, wow Kris, you got major issues to turn that word into the rant you just made it. Whatever's clever.

I wasn't demanding anything, so calm down. It was a suggestion. Obviously you don't have to take it. I am most definitely not telling you how you should feel. Your feelings aren't mine, and I'm not foolish or arrogant enough to think otherwise.

You;re calling my words rants?

But yours, I suppose, you call wisdom.

Well, as to the drought on sex, I can understand why you might want to break it with someone totally sexually attractive even if you don't have an emotional connection. Personally I found fantasy and toys to be of help and they don't hurt or stalk you. I think stats say that most women do not reach orgasm through intercourse alone, so I don't think that was connected to the strength of emotional connection -- but wouldn't it be nice if it were?

I don't think I'd risk being with someone who might be a P, especially when they live next door. The problem is that you open up your life to them, and you get them fully focused on you. I agree that you might lose a lot more. And if focusing on where he is, and he is always showing up creepily, is already bothering you, you'll probably be even more aware of where he is if you sleep with him.

I'm not sure how to keep him away without arousing interest. I would try to be as boring as possible to him, come and go as unobtrusively as possible, keep your window coverings closed at night if he's seeming stalkerish. And don't show weakness (looking away or down), just be firm but polite. I would avoid long conversations. Maybe use Bill Eddy's short and simple messages (KISS? messages) (intended for texts but could work for someone you have to talk to).

And yes, it is a bummer that psychopaths are so magnetic. I don't know what gives them such immense personal power, but it is definitely there. For me, I am attracted to their intensity, and that's a problem I've got to figure out how to fix.

EVERYONE GOT THEIR TOMATOES AND OLD SHOES READY???
Good.
Now you can throw them at me.

BUT I blame the Creamsicles. 4 years is a really, really long time and I guess that's my breaking point.
Plus, he's Asian. The cards were just stacked against me.

You'll be at least happy to know I've put my foot down with this guy. I'm pretty sure he'll start looking for new sources of supply soon once I stop feeding the ego monster.
He became SUFFOCATING. Gifts. Extreme compliments - putting me on a pedestal. Pushing boundaries. Following me. Saying he "doesn't want to share me with anyone" after the fact (I told him up front I don't want a relationship and I like my single status). I discovered he's still living with "crazy ex-girlfriend" who I'm quite sure isn't crazy at all. Oh dear drama.....

I broke. But on the other side of the fence, I know I'm MUCH MUCH stronger when it comes to enforcing my boundaries and recognizing violators... being able to tell them to get lost. Not falling for their lines and love-bombing.

The Big O:
I understand that climaxing doesn't come through intercourse alone... what I'm saying is I don't orgasm with men... even when I'm "there", I can't climb over the hump. I just sit at the plateau. Weird, right? I have to go into the bathroom and finish my business, for lack of a more discreet description.

And WTH is it with guys who think we love being talked dirty to and then jackhammered into a coma???
Every.
Single.
Time.

LMAO, and just as I finish writing this: the texts start up again. I'm just sitting here, shaking my head... wanting to bang it against the wall.

lmao, you nut. men are ego maniacs they think they know what we want but really I think most have no clue. not all but most. there is those rare few. about the big O, lol maybe you just haven't found the right guy to do the job yet ??? obviously it works so maybe its them haha ive heard of that from a few friends too though. as far as "giving in" doesn't sound like we need to worry too much about you yet lol you really seem to have the tone set and good boundries set up for yourself. you sound very much in control which is good. now, was it worth it?? lmao just teasing you....your making me crack up