Victims of Psychopaths Community Group

Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.

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aagardfamily 09/02/2013

So I need some suggestions.

A little blunt honesty: I haven't had "relations" in nearly 4 years.
I've dated. I've had some pretty heavy make-out sessions, but I wanted to make sure the next person I get truly intimate with is someone I'm emotionally attached to because I've never had an orgasm through intercourse alone. I've always had to "help myself" with the process, if you catch my drift, because I was never emotionally connected to the men I've been with.

I'm an atheist and I don't pray to a higher power so having faith won't work in my case.

I think 4 years with no sex in this modern, Hollywood-esk, sex-crazed world is near remarkable, right? I'm feeling good... feeling proud... feeling strong... until I met new guy.
From day one, I knew he was bad because I was instantly attracted to him... off-the-charts, insane chemistry.
Red flag.
He's a freaking addiction. There's no emotional connection there but I find myself drawn to him like a drug. AND he's my neighbor so I see him every day. I'm stuck in this lease for another 5 months so neither of us are leaving anytime soon. I'm 95% sure this guy's another P/S/N. I know the signs.

This attraction is purely physical. Before I fall back into old habits and lose my 4-year winning streak to uncontrolled hormones, give me some tips to let this guy down without him turning into stalker #6. Ugh.......
Success stories, anyone?

aagardfamily 09/02/2013

Eyes... I love you for that! Sometimes you need people to knock you back to Earth and the reminders & tough love definitely help. Besides, the sex is NEVER "that" good (for me). He's attracted to me because I'm older.... much older... and much more experienced.

I'm actually going to print out what you wrote and just keep reading it.

JohnnyFC 09/02/2013

WOW? How does one respond to that post. I went from 5 months of no contact ,(see how I turned this around to make this about me, lol) to "let's make some kind of arrangement". Now I think of my P as " the entertainment". So far it works for me. I'm so attracted to this guy that I'll put up with his lies and deception. I'll remain committed to him even tho I've seen him behind the mask. I'am at an age where meeting people is just about impossible. 60. pretty crazy! But I love him, still in therapy to find out why. so I say to you aagardfamily to just go with it, enjoy your body, and have a sense of humor because laughter is the only way to deal with these emotionally deaf creatures.

bellanomore 09/03/2013

aagard, you know better girl !!!! I think if you can be with someone just for the sex go for it but, and this is a big but, if he is a sociopath it wont end up that way. its hard to meet people when your not 21 and it makes it so much harder on us. but ive realized id rater be alone for the most part than go through this again. don't risk everything you have been through and accomplished for just some random act especially with a neighbor if its going to go sideways. you will have to see him all the time and we know how that will turn out. I know youll find the right decision for you just use your head and not your emotions. don't go backwards. hugs to you

bellanomore 09/03/2013

also just so you know many woman don't have orgasms through intercourse alone. its not that un common. just thought I would throw that in haha

aagardfamily 09/04/2013

LOL Thanks Bella & Johnny... isn't it funny how talking about this stuff is so taboo?
We all do it. None of us would be here without it.

BUT new guy has turned into my shadow. Each time I step out the door, he's there. I go to my car, he's there. It's getting creepy and I haven't even slept with him. At least the texts finally stopped today...

BTW Bella.... you need to come down and play with us! Girls night out in 2 weeks.
Bring single bills. ;-)

SonoMahi 09/05/2013

I second Bella and Eyes opinion, run away from him. The thrill is not worth the mental torture that follows it. They are creepy.

bellanomore 09/05/2013

aagard , boy does that sound like fun, I do need to come down for sure !!!

deleted_user 09/06/2013

I'm not trying to troll here, but I think you should give in to your inclinations. Just because you have a "feeling" this guy may be a narcissist or whatever it doesn't mean you are correct in that judgement. You never know until you try, and it isn't right to deny everything you desire from fear that it can go wrong. How are you living if you cease to live?

kris7167 09/06/2013

Please anyone reply. I am reading this thread and understanding that, apparently, it is a known fact that one feels an overwhelming chemical attraction to a psychopath. I did not know this, and, as I mentioned on another thread, I read and wrote about psychopathy, extensively. over a decade ago. I left the topic behind, for years, until I realized, about a year ago, that I was involved with another psychopath.

aagardfamily, I was celibate for the 10 years after I left my psychopathic husband, until I met my boyfriend of 3 years. Many of my reasons were the same as yours. But possibly the biggest reason is that I do not feel attracted to 99% of men. Nothing, zip. After meeting my husband at age 20, I never felt the slightest attraction to any other man until I met my boyfriend. The one thing these 2 men have in common is that both are psychopaths. Yet I never made any mental connection between their psychopathy and my instant insane animal attraction to both upon first laying eyes on them. I assumed it was somethng cosmic, "love-at-first-sight." IS there a connection between chemical attraction and psychopathy?

bellanomore 09/07/2013

kris, yes there is a chemical reaction that goes off in our bodies when dealing with these men. it is just like addiction and why the leaving ( going through withdrawals ) is usually so difficult and most go back a few times .do some research on the internet and you will find this comes up often. there is a huge connection

deleted_user 09/07/2013

EyesOpened: I get your logic, but it doesn't apply to this person. What one goes through with one person is not a guaranteed with the others, mainly for the obvious reason that they are two completely different people. It's awfully narcissistic to assume all men with some things in common are going to turn out exactly the same, so to deny someone who may be a little wilder but over all have a good heart, is not fair to that person. Why deny him or her the satisfaction of dating "you" from a biased fear and perhaps even premature form of projection?

Kris: I don't think there is any specific chemical reaction linked to the psychopath. They don't give off special psychopath sexy time hormones that entrap men and women. What draws everyone to them is us. We are looking for something we failed to find on our own, and the psychopath is able to pick up on that desire, and they give it to us. If we were satisfied with ourselves in every way possible the psychopath wouldn't have anything on us, they go after the weak for a reason. If you weren't looking so hard for something then you wouldn't end up in these patterns. I personally find it hard to believe that everyone just keeps dating psychopaths whenever they finally stat a relationship. Look at you first.

deleted_user 09/07/2013

Why do you say that? Did I say something wrong?

deleted_user 09/07/2013

I don't really have one. I was never conned by a narcissist, sociopath, psychopath, etc, but I know of them. My father was one, my mother a narcissist, and a friend of mine is a psychopath.

bellanomore 09/07/2013

then what do you want from here ? to give advise about something you know nothing about? that's really not helpful or needed here

deleted_user 09/07/2013

That I don't have a story? I don't. I've never dealt with the terrible plights of the sociopath. My friend hasn't harmed me in any debilitating way, my father is a no show, and my mother and I don't really talk. I don't see myself as a victim, so there's no sad tales to speak of, unless they are sad tales and I just became desensitized by it all, or more than likely viewed it as a normal upbringing.

My relationships are fine, I'm in one now. Not sure what you're looking for :/

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