24 yrs!

Are you serious ajlw, there HAD to be some red flags?

Tough question.....my marriage lasted 17 yrs .....he did weird things but my ex fancied himself as an "artist"....I somehow accepted these eccentricities as normal for him...and viewed myself as judgemental if I expressed my opinion on his activities.The bottom line is that some lie and hide things better than others, so they are less likely to be found out or questioned as readily as others. Believe me when I say that the next one will be recognized a whole lot sooner than the last one!

Just listen closely and take note of your everyday conversations. When i fist met my exP he told me he loved certain things. The next time i met him i brought up the subject and he told me "Oh i hardly ever do that" I thought i wasn't paying attention and misinterpreted the conversation. They slip up easily but they deceive us so well you'll think that you messed up. Hope that make sense.

as long as you let them. if you keep believing they keep decieving

Aniijo: Good answer! Our S seems to have a track record of two years before she is thrown out.

Aniijo, right on!

and many are not able emotionally to break free even they see their horrible behavior...they need help, but dont find help because they are so attached to the abuser..trauma bond..

In hindsight most of mine who were able to deceive me in the past couldn't get past the first date with me today. It wasn't so much that they were so adept at hiding behind the mask as it was I was naive.

I have been naive too. Wisdom and knowledge makes us much less naive after meeting these psychopaths.

I have become a lot better at spotting them. I know what to look for. What that translates to, for me, is that only the REALLY good (high level) sociopaths are able to get past my radar now. So every sociopath I become victim to is just better at it than the previous. Each one is worse (damage wise) than the last. Even though I spot it within a few weeks now and get away as soon as I see it, it still keeps happening. I don't see this ever ending. It's like I live in some kind of reality show or something. It doesn't even seem realistic at this point.

It can feels like living in a never ending tale of being together with the sociopaths, like a planet on its own together with them...where are the normal ones...

"like a planet on its own together with them". you got that right. its like an alienated feeling

@Agent: mpletely agree. Seems we are both at the same stage. I want off this N/S/P rollar coaster but every time it turns out he's just another form of N...whether it's a cerebral or a somatic or a histronic...they're all N's. Each time I add to my Red Flag List, then another form of N comes along and because I've never dealt with that specific form or 'species' they pass under my radar.

" I don't see this ever ending. It's like I live in some kind of reality show or something. It doesn't even seem realistic at this point." That's exactly how I feel right now. So I am trying to just focus on my own life alone where it's peaceful and quiet and things make sense instead of letting anyone else anywhere near my heart. Tired of getting it ripped apart. Just want peace now.

on the mend ,,,, so true, we see what we wanted to see I think.

anegada,,,,,,, I did the same thing, mine was artistic too and fro another country-culture so I always thought he was just thinking with an artistic mind, ha what a joke that is. I now see he was just a joke. I wont ever let that happen again.

4 years for me but if I had listened to that little voice in my head maybe I would have seen sooner who knows can go backwards. I think they can get away with the mask as long as we let them. I didn't know he was a sociopath just thought he saw things in a different artistic way. once I found out that changed the way I saw him !!!